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She has ugly feet, but I love her. What should I do?

Z

ZackSeamus

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Hello guys!
I am dating this girl, and we are getting along prety well. She is beautiful, inteligent, polite and really kind to me (wich is the most important for me). But yesterday, I went to her house and got to see her barefeet for the first time. And I noticed her feet are somewhat ugly. Her bigtoes are longer than her other toes. Well, that wouldn't be a problem for a normal guy, but I have a HUGE foot fetish. I love tickling and worshipping girls feet. I could spend hours at a girl feet doing that. To me, female feet are as sexy or even more sexy than her breasts or butt. But her feet did not arouse me. Probably because of her bigtoes, since her other toes are really cute and normal.

Please, what should I do? Any advices? Did any of you ever had this kind of situation? Please, any enlightment and opinion are welcome.

Thank you all in advance! :)
 
Um my opinion is that you have to decide for yourself how important the appearance of her feet are to you. The way you described them, they don't sound that bad, but maybe in person they are worse then I am picturing in my head. If everything else is perfect about her except her feet, I would think it would be a shame to throw her away just because of her feet. However if feet are that important to you that you cant get past them, then maybe it is best you let her find someone else. Again it all falls back on you, can you or can you not accept ugly feet?
 
From my admittedly female perspective, it does not sound like this is "the one" for you. When you describe your relationship as "getting along pretty well", and 3 of her 4 best traits are being "intelligent, polite, and kind to me" that sounds like a good friend. I don't mean this to be ugly or snarky--but I tend to believe that if you LOVE the person you will LOVE most things about them, including things like their feet. I could be wrong and encourage you to think about your feelings and not to lose a good thing, but I'd hope that if you did fall in love with her, you'd love her quirky feet too, especially if she let you have your way with them.
 
amandahaze said:
From my admittedly female perspective, it does not sound like this is "the one" for you. When you describe your relationship as "getting along pretty well", and 3 of her 4 best traits are being "intelligent, polite, and kind to me" that sounds like a good friend. I don't mean this to be ugly or snarky--but I tend to believe that if you LOVE the person you will LOVE most things about them, including things like their feet. I could be wrong and encourage you to think about your feelings and not to lose a good thing, but I'd hope that if you did fall in love with her, you'd love her quirky feet too, especially if she let you have your way with them.
Click to expand...

What Amanda said!!!! Best response I've seen on here in a very long time!
 
amandahaze said:
From my admittedly female perspective, it does not sound like this is "the one" for you. When you describe your relationship as "getting along pretty well", and 3 of her 4 best traits are being "intelligent, polite, and kind to me" that sounds like a good friend. I don't mean this to be ugly or snarky--but I tend to believe that if you LOVE the person you will LOVE most things about them, including things like their feet. I could be wrong and encourage you to think about your feelings and not to lose a good thing, but I'd hope that if you did fall in love with her, you'd love her quirky feet too, especially if she let you have your way with them.
Click to expand...


True words, good thoughts.
 
amandahaze said:
From my admittedly female perspective, it does not sound like this is "the one" for you. When you describe your relationship as "getting along pretty well", and 3 of her 4 best traits are being "intelligent, polite, and kind to me" that sounds like a good friend. I don't mean this to be ugly or snarky--but I tend to believe that if you LOVE the person you will LOVE most things about them, including things like their feet. I could be wrong and encourage you to think about your feelings and not to lose a good thing, but I'd hope that if you did fall in love with her, you'd love her quirky feet too, especially if she let you have your way with them.
Click to expand...

crap_game said:
What Amanda said!!!! Best response I've seen on here in a very long time!
Click to expand...

robmic said:
I'll second that!
Click to expand...

okdremur said:
True words, good thoughts.
Click to expand...

Wha?!

Let's take a look at what information we have available to us (assuming the OP is being honest - and I don't think there is any reason to believe he isn't).

They get on well. He thinks she is beautiful, intelligent, polite and kind. He has a foot fetish. He isn't keen on her big toes. And, considering he's only just got his first look at her bare feet, I think it's safe to assume they have not been going out long. And from this we are all quite sure that she "isn't the one", yes? :flatstare:

Of course, it may turn out that you're all right. But based on such little information...? My personal opinion where these questions are concerned (and there have been a couple of late) is that the only responsible thing one can do is to turn the question back onto the OP and encourage them, as femfttickler21 has done, to engage in a healthy bit of introspection, so that they might get a clearer idea of what matters to them most. Also, I think it's worth pointing out (in case the OP is too polite to) that at no point does he ask for an assessment of the relationship. The question is NOT 'Do you think we'll live happily ever after?'

Also, here's a little thought experiment, just for the MALE members of the forum. Imagine it was you who had posted amandahaze's comment. Now look at the subsequent comments it elicited. Hm. Doesn't look right, does it? Or does it? You tell me. (And I'm not just talking about the reference to 'Amanda'. lol)

Also, 'She has ugly feet, but I love her' sounds to me like an old country song. Just thought I'd mention that.
 
Nobody is really going to be able to effectively tell you what to do. If you like her, you like her, and if you don't you don't. If you don't find her attractive then you don't find her attractive.

Personally, physical attraction is semi-important to me (as I've learned through online dating that, yes, I am quite shallow). Personality and all of that is super important to me too, but I just completely lose interest in someone if their feet are unattractive, if they are unwilling to let me tickle them or if they won't let me play with their feet. On one level I don't want to force something that another person deems unpleasant onto them (even if they could learn to like it, and I think most could) but on a whole, bigger level, yes, my sexual attraction is important and losing that drops a girl into a mental non-dateable bucket.

A recurring question on the forums involves individuals ending up in serious relationships and then after a few years bringing up feet/tickling (the recurring question is how to do it, or "Oh no she doesnt like it what do I do). As such my suggestion is to not get into that situation if possible (I try to avoid it). If you aren't attracted and it is that important, then maybe back off.

Of course if you like her enough to not let your desires bother you so much, then by all means go for it. I do not think that is a wise decision as you might (and likely will by your post) end up pushing down your desires in an unhealthy way, which is a shitty place to be in. If it does become serious and then you find that you can't deal with that, then you'll have a bigger issue on hand.

You have to do what you have to do is about the best I can tell you.
 
Listen. I she's a good woman to you, let's you play with her feet and enjoys it and loves you then your priorities are wrong.
 
Try to broaden your horizon and learn to love feet you normally wouldn't like. As long as she doesn't have crooked toes or fungus I bet that's not a hard thing to try. Just play with her feet and let it rest for a time, there's that chance you'll adapt your taste. My taste in women also changed over the years due to positive experiences with women who weren't my type initially.
 
Well whether you love her or like her who cares about her feet!!! Look, I have a foot fetish too but if I am in a relationship with a woman I LOVE.. then I don't care how her feet look. I went to a pain rehab clinic where there were many people, mostly older like middle age. There were many beautiful women and even good looking guys and when you hear the stories of a spouse cheating and giving up on the marriage because of having to take care of their sick/ injured spouse, it is sickening and sad. Whatever happened to the saying "in sickness and in health and till death do you part". What I am saying is, you might find the most compatible tickle partner you are with and what if she has a freak accident that leaves her with no feet anymore. Would you leave your girlfriend or wife because she lost her feet in a freak accident? You said she is intelligent, beautiful, kind and polite. If you truly love her, then the way her feet look really shouldn't matter. The real question you have to ask is, do you really love her. If you really love her and you can see a future with this woman as husband and wife, then her feet shouldn't matter. But if you are not even sure if you love her then well you have decide that.
 
Vanillaphant said:
Wha?!

Let's take a look at what information we have available to us (assuming the OP is being honest - and I don't think there is any reason to believe he isn't).

They get on well. He thinks she is beautiful, intelligent, polite and kind. He has a foot fetish. He isn't keen on her big toes. And, considering he's only just got his first look at her bare feet, I think it's safe to assume they have not been going out long. And from this we are all quite sure that she "isn't the one", yes? :flatstare:

Of course, it may turn out that you're all right. But based on such little information...? My personal opinion where these questions are concerned (and there have been a couple of late) is that the only responsible thing one can do is to turn the question back onto the OP and encourage them, as femfttickler21 has done, to engage in a healthy bit of introspection, so that they might get a clearer idea of what matters to them most. Also, I think it's worth pointing out (in case the OP is too polite to) that at no point does he ask for an assessment of the relationship. The question is NOT 'Do you think we'll live happily ever after?'

Also, here's a little thought experiment, just for the MALE members of the forum. Imagine it was you who had posted amandahaze's comment. Now look at the subsequent comments it elicited. Hm. Doesn't look right, does it? Or does it? You tell me. (And I'm not just talking about the reference to 'Amanda'. lol)

Also, 'She has ugly feet, but I love her' sounds to me like an old country song. Just thought I'd mention that.
Click to expand...

What??????

If ANYONE has to resort to relationship advice from anonymous strangers on the internet odds are the relationship in question is shaky at best. I think Amanda was right to address the relationship since that's what the true intent of the OP's post was, clearly. It's not as if they were soliciting advice as to socks or no sock to hide ugly feet.

No offense to the OP at all, but if she was the one for you would you be truly be soliciting opinions on the internet from strangers? Jus a thought.
 
Yeh, bad feet are a deal breaker for me. I've been in this very situation a few times. It's a shame but we all have things that we want out of a partner and that makes them the rare gem they are when you find them. Chances are if you tried to make the relationship work, you'd always have a problem with her feet. Ask yourself whether or not it's fair to say you love someone and secretly find the part of her you have an actual fetish for ugly.

If it were me, I'd sadly and unfortunately back out of any plan to have a relationship with her. But, you're not me, so obviously do whatever you feel you should do :)
 
Wow, so many good answers in so little time. Thanks a lot everyone :)
So far I love the perspectives each of you have about this. And its fair to say that your opinions are 50% to 50% (wich makes it even harder for me to decide, since both of you have valuable arguments)
Well, let me try to explain a bit more of what is going on so I can be more specific.

I just came out from a bad relationship. I loved this girl, but it didn't work out. And it has been an year since I can't get her out of my mind (Yes, I am that kind of platonic lover). Then, all of a sudden, I met this other girl I am going out with (for the last two weeks). She is kind, beautiful, funny, and etc. But I didn't fall in love for her yet. But that is not a problem for me, since I have fallen in love with many girls in the past that actually sucked and were bitches. I think that I will end up falling in love with her as our relationship goes deeper and matures, and I get to know her better.

I am 100% sure that this girl will be loyal to me, and kind (she is that kind of person that is very gentle with everyone). So, this makes me ponder about a real relationship, wich would be great. The only downside of this relationship so far is her feet.

So here is the problem: I know that people say "Get over her feet, etc". Ok, that makes sense, but I think about the future. Lets be honest, we all have our carnal desires. For example, 10 years from now, I would still never be able to get on with her feet, and that is really important for me. So, I am quite afraid I would end up having an affair outside of our marriage, and I would end up cheating on her :( this kind of thought haunts me. I am not saying this would happen, it is just a possibility (with high chances of hapenning).
 
Let's say you make this permanent. Thirty years down the road, you'll both be having some saggy places, crooked joints, nose hair, bunions, and YOUR feet won't be any prize, either. It's pretty hard to find a companion who is faithful and good to you. The woman I loved most had great feet, but she went outside our marriage. Now her great feet are someone else's. I would've preferred ugly feet and great loyalty.

The woman who has been truest to me has very average feet; somehow, we gotta keep our fetishes in perspective. Fetishes are not relationships. Fetishes are not people. We need to mold them to fit our needs and not let them control us.
 
If feet are that important to you, then its best you move on. youll regret it down the road.
 
Hoping not to further offend Vanillaphant, here is another thought:

I think it is dangerous to look at someone as just the sum of their parts, instead of the whole. Talking about a partner's feet/voice/eyes/nose hair, etc. as something completely separate and unrelated to their being as a whole, seems to almost be a setup to being unhappy, now or in the future. I am making NO assumptions or predictions for the OP or anyone else, but it seems that going into a relationship saying "Everything's great, except for (blank)" is a setup to use that later to make a change or to look for some great (blank) somewhere else. From the OP's follow-up, it sounds like there is more going on in his head than her feet. I humbly suggest that he talk to someone who can help him, and that is not to suggest that there is anything wrong with him. In my work I see many people who benefit from professional counsel, and far many more who would if they sought it. My hope for him (and her) and for everyone is to find whatever happiness there is for them.
 
amandahaze said:
Hoping not to further offend Vanillaphant
Click to expand...

lol Just for the record, I wasn't offended.

Also, and I will address this to robmic, okdremur and crap_game (so as not to look too much like a hypocrite!), I probably was a little too vehement in my initial post. But I was worried that the OP was being led down the wrong path. I just think that if you're going to give advice on a person's relationship, it's judicious to err on the side of caution. Particularly when that person is a stranger and you know so little about said relationship.

And to address the OP: Why do you say that you are worried you will cheat? Almost suggesting you have no control over the matter?
 
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ZackSeamus said:
Wow, so many good answers in so little time. Thanks a lot everyone :)
So far I love the perspectives each of you have about this. And its fair to say that your opinions are 50% to 50% (wich makes it even harder for me to decide, since both of you have valuable arguments)
Well, let me try to explain a bit more of what is going on so I can be more specific.

I just came out from a bad relationship. I loved this girl, but it didn't work out. And it has been an year since I can't get her out of my mind (Yes, I am that kind of platonic lover). Then, all of a sudden, I met this other girl I am going out with (for the last two weeks). She is kind, beautiful, funny, and etc. But I didn't fall in love for her yet. But that is not a problem for me, since I have fallen in love with many girls in the past that actually sucked and were bitches. I think that I will end up falling in love with her as our relationship goes deeper and matures, and I get to know her better.

I am 100% sure that this girl will be loyal to me, and kind (she is that kind of person that is very gentle with everyone). So, this makes me ponder about a real relationship, wich would be great. The only downside of this relationship so far is her feet.

So here is the problem: I know that people say "Get over her feet, etc". Ok, that makes sense, but I think about the future. Lets be honest, we all have our carnal desires. For example, 10 years from now, I would still never be able to get on with her feet, and that is really important for me. So, I am quite afraid I would end up having an affair outside of our marriage, and I would end up cheating on her :( this kind of thought haunts me. I am not saying this would happen, it is just a possibility (with high chances of hapenning).
Click to expand...

Your honesty is admirable. If you are sure this is how you feel, you need to break it off. You both deserve to be happy. You're self-aware enough to know that this would probably end up with you having an affair; do you really want to waste your time, and string her along for 10 years, and then drop the bomb (you seem too honest to spend a marriage looking for something on the side)? Do you really want to break someone's heart down the road because they have "ugly feet"?
 
ZackSeamus said:
Wow, so many good answers in so little time. Thanks a lot everyone :)
So far I love the perspectives each of you have about this. And its fair to say that your opinions are 50% to 50% (wich makes it even harder for me to decide, since both of you have valuable arguments)
Well, let me try to explain a bit more of what is going on so I can be more specific.

I just came out from a bad relationship. I loved this girl, but it didn't work out. And it has been an year since I can't get her out of my mind (Yes, I am that kind of platonic lover). Then, all of a sudden, I met this other girl I am going out with (for the last two weeks). She is kind, beautiful, funny, and etc. But I didn't fall in love for her yet. But that is not a problem for me, since I have fallen in love with many girls in the past that actually sucked and were bitches. I think that I will end up falling in love with her as our relationship goes deeper and matures, and I get to know her better.

I am 100% sure that this girl will be loyal to me, and kind (she is that kind of person that is very gentle with everyone). So, this makes me ponder about a real relationship, wich would be great. The only downside of this relationship so far is her feet.

So here is the problem: I know that people say "Get over her feet, etc". Ok, that makes sense, but I think about the future. Lets be honest, we all have our carnal desires. For example, 10 years from now, I would still never be able to get on with her feet, and that is really important for me. So, I am quite afraid I would end up having an affair outside of our marriage, and I would end up cheating on her :( this kind of thought haunts me. I am not saying this would happen, it is just a possibility (with high chances of hapenning).
Click to expand...

You obviously respect and value her, which is the very reason I'd be backing out. Could you look her in the eyes for all those years letting her believe she's your everything when your desires are so likely to entice you elsewhere to find what she's lacking? And If it happened, and she found out why, she would be destroyed.

That's the way I'd be looking at it.
 
Your feelings towards a person tends to strongly color your attraction to them. I'm not saying this is necessarily the case, but if when you saw her feet your first thought was "wow they're ugly" I would sit down for a moment and think about how much you actually like this person and if you are truly attracted to them or not.
 
Thank you very much, everyone. You were all very kind to take a minute or two to respond to my topic. I now have enough base and wisdom to know what to do, and I am working on it. Thank you all very much once again! :)
 
ZackSeamus said:
Thank you very much, everyone. You were all very kind to take a minute or two to respond to my topic. I now have enough base and wisdom to know what to do, and I am working on it. Thank you all very much once again! :)
Click to expand...

So the decision is? Can't leave everyone hanging...lol
 
I'd like to be the voice of compassion for your lady love - and ask a question, ..."How ugly ARE her feet?"

I've seen gorgeous feet, I've seen feet I wasn't attracted to, but I could deal, then I've seen hideously ugly feet I almost couldn't look away from, yet had to because...ugh!

Also, what are your other options out there, girl wise, if she's so great?

I'd hate for you to go give up an awesome girl, and perhaps get stuck with a psycho bitch who happens to have pretty feet....who never lets you touch them because she's too
busy telling you what a rotten human being you are in between playing mind games....

I'm a humble guy, and tell myself I don't have a huge amount of options out there. There's a list of things I want in a girl, yes, pretty feet being one of them,
and if I met someone with hideously ugly feet that I didn't even want to touch, I may have to just be alone that have her see me wincing every time she takes her shoes off.

But sadly, good girls (and yes, guys) are hard to find these days, and finding someone who accepts your fetish, any fetish, is even harder.

Sometimes the grass isn't always greener. Two of my favorite models have just okay feet.....but impressive breasts - if I'm in heaven and they ask me out...I could deal with
their less than attractive feet! In my case, pantyhose makes all female feet look 10 times better, so I have the advantage...

Proceed with caution....
 
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