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Don't Be Ashamed

The Internet

2nd Level Green Feather
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
4,333
Points
38
Hey, there's lots of threads of late about negative feelings (guilt, embarrassment, shame) about this thing, this "fetish".

It's not the fetish. It's whatever you'd be into, you'd feel bad about it.

We are no different than anybody else, everyone in our culture is oversexed and hung up on whatever it is they're into. Quite frankly, I think you should be PROUD and RELIEVED that you're not into some of this other stuff people are truly cursed with.

Our thing is sanitary. It's tactile and sensual. It's legal. It's lightness of mood and spirit. It's so benign, they can't even believe we find it sexy! Yet it is so in-built to couples' interplay so as to become almost invisible. Everybody kisses and makes out......but not everyone has a kissing fetish, where they're focused on that alone. I wouldn't mind having a kissing fetish. Or a caress-the-hair fetish, I've known a couple of guys who like that. What's wrong with that? I feel our thing is on that level. I mean, we can get our kink going with it, of course, but pretty much my attitude is one of gratitude: "whew....I dodged a bullet. I could be into THAT....instead I'm into THIS."

I'm very snobby about our "fetish", it's the best! Are you kidding me? Endlessly fascinating. Never gets old. No two ticklees are alike. No two ticklings are alike. For a ler, it's like riding a bronco, for a 'lee, like riding a rollercoaster. Sounds like fun to me, sign me up!

I understand people feeling shy about the thing that turns them on. But don't beat yourselves up so much about it! I know this won't be the first or last time this will have all been said. I just thought this time, make a headline out of it.
 
Hello,

It is slightly easy for me to talk about it because I really never indulged with my lady friends. Even if they think it is purely sexual - which is a cause for my frustration - they can't directly connect it to themselves. Although I admitted in the fantasy domain, some of those ladies made an appearance.

Thanks,

K
 
I LOVE how you wrote this Internet... you said it all!!! EPICALLY!!!! YES!!!! :)
 
I finally evolved, at the age of 49 back in 1999, to this attitude. That is, I embraced my erotic interests instead of hiding them. :D

My advice to young people is the as the Original Poster: Don't be ashamed and don't waste as much time as I did pretending to have only vanilla interests. Embrace your erotic interests! :D
 
When you compare it some of the other fetishes out there, it makes a lot more sense.

To me, this is a kink with a lot of substance. There is touching, sensations, plus some potential bondage and domination. To the OP's point, it is sanitary, safe and fun!

I have always been fairly open about my sexuality, and if others want to pass shame or judgement on me, so be it.
 
No one should be ashamed of what they want sexually.
It's what they do with it/about it that counts.
 
Excellent thread Internet. I don't like to pass judgment on people with other fetishes (not that your thread is judging other fetishes) but yeah, ours is pretty great! I totally agree with you that having some fetishes would be a curse, and I do feel for people who have certain other paraphilias. Some could truly be called a curse.

I used to be ashamed of my interest in tickling, and I still don't advertise it publicly, but I always engage it with romantic partners now. What I've found is they almost always accommodate me. And if not, we'll then it's not going to work. In fact, a lot of them are turned on by it right away and many others come find that they like it eventually.
 
I feel like the "shame" mostly comes from inexperience or just bad experience. I'm sure when we were all younger and just starting to explore our sexuality we would just look at what "other people are doing" and realize that tickling is really not involved in it, so we feel like we're outcasts and try to hide it. As soon as you kind of push forward are try to introduce tickling into your relationships you'll generally find acceptance and maybe even excitement toward the new aspect. If you don't, then there's really no harm in that because everyone has their own tastes and dislikes, you just happened to have found someone who clashes with yours. If they are rude about it, even better; that person can go fuck themselves and they're not worth the effort to even feel bad about.

I found that I became a lot more comfortable with my interests when I went off to university and my view started to become more objective, rational, and especially critical. Being able to look back on yourself critically (that's not to say hate yourself, think constructively) certainly helps to see what's worth being concerned about and what's not. If you and the other parties involved are all consenting and it's not illegal you're free to enjoy yourself. That's really all there is to it and it goes for any other kink/fetish you may have. I see people saying "compared to other fetishes, tickling is fairly tame" and I think that's rather counter productive, you're putting a ranking system to what you should feel ashamed about being into. If someone wants to be dressed up as an apple tree while simultaneously being slapped on the butt with a sardine and having their tongue pinched with kitchen utensils, they're perfectly free to do that and it's just as acceptable as being tickled into submission or tickling someone as foreplay or having regular sex. Just because you or the vast general populace aren't into it is irrelevant.
 
With me, I've found when I came out in front of women who had been tortured by tickling in childhood, it really put a cap on conversations afterwards. There was a masseuse recently who claimed she was getting more sensual massage requests that healing massage, so I straightened up and requested to be tied down and tickled. She couldn't deal with that, and went and pushed the conversation over to healing massage. It freaked her out, but I'm assuming she was hard up for cash, why she still wanted to do a healing massage with me.
Trick was once I agreed, she sent me a form indicating that if I don't show up for the appointment, I still owe her half of the session. Sneaky. But even after that, when we were alone, the old King Kong would come out of her, expressing so much anger. I backed up from ever seeing her again.
 
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