Unnerving your 'Lee: How do you Cause?

Redmage · Sep 18, 2008

CrystalLight said:
Yes. Vocally is what I'm referring to.

I don't know that I do much verbally while I'm playing. I am fond of one of my patented rejoinders, though: "That's OK, dear. You don't have to stand it." 😉

Y'know, I've seen those really tight styles and just don't understand the appeal. Tits aren't supposed to be wrapped that tight.

I'm not sure that I can explain the appeal. Part of it is increased sensitivity (despite appearances it doesn't usually block circulation). It has an SM component, since it's generally not comfortable for the bottom. And part of it is an element of control - there's a certain aspect of bondage that's sort of like "body sculpting" - reshaping the bottom's body with rope.

Trust me. No you don't.

Fear me.

No can do. You'll have to show me.

Capnmad · Sep 18, 2008

CrystalLight said:
I'm not sure what precedence that holds to the OP. 😕

But, yes. If you have seen Myriads' posts referring to sadism or acts of, he favors the word 'cause', as do some others. 🙂

Sometimes it's just fun to make observations. *shrugs* Carry on! 🙂

CrystalLight · Sep 19, 2008

Redmage said:
I don't know that I do much verbally while I'm playing. I am fond of one of my patented rejoinders, though: "That's OK, dear. You don't have to stand it." 😉

Is it because you are focusing on what you're doing?

Don't you worry that it might come off as slightly mechanical?

No can do. You'll have to show me.

Maybe if you ask nicely. 😀

Redmage · Sep 19, 2008

CrystalLight said:
Is it because you are focusing on what you're doing?

Mostly, yes. I do talk, just not a lot of verbal teasing.

Don't you worry that it might come off as slightly mechanical?

It hasn't seemed to so far. I remain engaged with my partner.

Maybe if you ask nicely. 😀

Ah, someday you'll ask me. 😉

drew70 · Sep 19, 2008

I'm personally not into mindfucking. I see it mostly as ego-driven chest-beating from guys who will try and convince people how dominant they are but in reality they are somebody else's prison bitch waiting to happen.
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Redmage · Sep 19, 2008

drew70 said:
I'm personally not into mindfucking. I see it mostly as ego-driven chest-beating from guys who will try and convince people how dominant they are but in reality they are somebody else's prison bitch waiting to happen.

LOL! Except when women do it, of course.

drew70 · Sep 19, 2008

Redmage said:
LOL! Except when women do it, of course.

Hah. No, I'm not even into that. A little teasing perhaps, but nothing even close to what's been described here.

Hey look, I'm not telling anybody what to do or not do. If you think sticking a knife in a girl's face is good foreplay that's your business, pal.

But if I were you, I'd be wary of enraged brothers and fathers. I'd hate to see anything happen to that oh-so-cool mullet you're sporting. :blaugh:

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Redmage · Sep 20, 2008

drew70 said:
Hah. No, I'm not even into that. A little teasing perhaps, but nothing even close to what's been described here.

I never suggested you were into it. I just enjoyed the image of one of those evil woman-hating women beating her chest. Either that, or snickering at your ongoing sexism.

Hey look, I'm not telling anybody what to do or not do

Well, that's good. We wouldn't want you to look foolish.

If you think sticking a knife in a girl's face is good foreplay that's your business, pal.

Even better, if she thinks it's good foreplay that's her business.

But if I were you, I'd be wary of enraged brothers and fathers. I'd hate to see anything happen to that oh-so-cool mullet you're sporting.

Sadly, the mullet has gone the way of all fur. Those photos are about 7 years old. You might have guessed that if you'd checked the rest of the site - it points out that the lady in question died in a flash flood in 2002. But so far none of your predictions about outraged relatives have shown much promise. It's almost as though the ladies' friends and relations recognize them as consenting adults, able to decide for themselves what they like. But I can't expect you to believe or even understand that.

And Crystal, this digression is over as far as I'm concerned. Drew has a habit of injecting intrusive nonsense into BDSM threads, due to issues of his own. But he goes away if you ignore him. I should have remembered that from the get-go.

drew70 · Sep 20, 2008

Redmage said:
Either that, or snickering at your ongoing sexism.

Hey, if believing men should treat women nonviolently is sexist, then by all means, slap the label on me.

Well, that's good. We wouldn't want you to look foolish.

Well that depends. If I look foolish to a fool, well that's something I can live with.

Sadly, the mullet has gone the way of all fur. Those photos are about 7 years old. You might have guessed that if you'd checked the rest of the site

Actually, I did peruse the photos to some small extent, but lost interest rather quickly, I'm afraid. Too bad about the mullet, though. I really think the "Kentucky Waterfall" was a good look for you! :manicd:

But so far none of your predictions about outraged relatives have shown much promise. It's almost as though the ladies' friends and relations recognize them as consenting adults, able to decide for themselves what they like. But I can't expect you to believe or even understand that.

Nor can you expect me to believe that the brothers and fathers of these physically abused women are as privy to their activities as we at the TMF are. Lucky us. :xlime:

And Crystal, this digression is over as far as I'm concerned. Drew has a habit of injecting intrusive nonsense into BDSM threads, due to issues of his own. But he goes away if you ignore him. I should have remembered that from the get-go.

Yes, I dare say you should have. Just as you should have remembered that in our last encounter, you vowed to place me on your ignore list for like what, the 5th time now? I've lost count. And yet once again, here you are responding to me. Perhaps Crystal should be educating YOU on how to ignore somebody since she does a much better job of it. :jester:

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BellaRisa · Sep 20, 2008

Redmage said:
Drew has a habit of injecting intrusive nonsense into BDSM threads, due to issues of his own. But he goes away if you ignore him. I should have remembered that from the get-go.

Remember this?

Public apology to the BDSM community

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've taken a few weeks off from posting, and have used the time for some personal reflection. I've found I'm in dire need of some serious behavior modification.

First and foremost, I feel I owe an apology to BDSM community for the things I've said and the bad light in which I cast those who participate. I was wrong to do so, and I'm genuinely sorry. Though my apology goes to anybody I've offended, I want to specifically offer apologies to Bella Risa and to Redmage, toward whom I was particularly unreasonable and mean-spirited.

Deep down, I always knew you both were good people, but I allowed myself to be caught up in pride, anger, and conceit. I hope you guys will forgive me even though I've given you every reason not to. -Drew70, 02-09-08

Hard to believe that was written less than 8 months ago.

Actually, it's not hard to believe at all :sowrong:

drew70 · Sep 21, 2008

LOL. It's so hard for you to believe that people can change, Bella, because you never do. So enjoy that apology and reprint it all you like, because it's the last one you'll ever see from me. :woot:

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cutiebutt · Sep 23, 2008

??

Drew, I'm sure I must be wrong but it seems like you are ridiculing these people simply for being into consensual BDSM. Please clarify.

ViperGTS · Sep 23, 2008

cutiebutt said:
Drew, I'm sure I must be wrong but it seems like you are ridiculing these people simply for being into consensual BDSM. Please clarify.

Yeah that's drew. Anything he doesn't understand or enjoy, he flames. I can't see what he says anymore because I put him (and two of his other 'female' screenames) on my ignore list. He's like that masochistic little sub that never knows when to keep his mouth shut, only no one ever wants to play with him. And as Bella said, like the troll he is, he eventually goes away if you stop feeding him attention.

More on topic -

I have always enjoyed a good verbal mindfuck occasionally. It's amazing some of the things you can get someone to confess to when they're in the throes of passion and are forced to answer questions.

Redmage, so THAT's what you used to look like! I have never seen your face before - you are careful to keep it out of many of your pictures. I've always admired your work.

drew70 · Sep 28, 2008

cutiebutt said:
Drew, I'm sure I must be wrong but it seems like you are ridiculing these people simply for being into consensual BDSM. Please clarify.

Welcome to the TMF cutiebutt and congratulations on your first post! I know this place can sometimes be a little overwhelming, so if you have any concerns or issues, my PM box is always open! 😀

As for your question, I believe that "consensual" carries little value if the S&M activities aren't also Safe and Sane. Sticking a knife in a girl's face might have been consensual, but it is neither safe nor sane. If she sneezed or flinched, she could wind up being the next Joker or a plastic surgeon's wet dream. :fish:

There now, how's that for clarification? 🙂
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LeeAllure · Sep 28, 2008

drew70 said:
Welcome to the TMF cutiebutt and congratulations on your first post! I know this place can sometimes be a little overwhelming, so if you have any concerns or issues, my PM box is always open! 😀

As for your question, I believe that "consensual" carries little value if the S&M activities aren't also Safe and Sane. Sticking a knife in a girl's face might have been consensual, but it is neither safe nor sane. If she sneezed or flinched, she could wind up being the next Joker or a plastic surgeon's wet dream.

There now, how's that for clarification? 🙂

that's why a lot of s/mers have gotten away from SSC, and moved to
RACK (Risk Aware, Consentual Kink), so that folks know there is a
hazard of bodily injury, as, say, there is in playing football, boxing,
mountain climbing, hiking, etc.

Lee

Redmage · Sep 28, 2008

LeeAllure said:
that's why a lot of s/mers have gotten away from SSC, and moved to
RACK (Risk Aware, Consentual Kink), so that folks know there is a
hazard of bodily injury, as, say, there is in playing football, boxing,
mountain climbing, hiking, etc.

He's been told that before. His memory works to suit him.

drew70 · Sep 28, 2008

LeeAllure said:
that's why a lot of s/mers have gotten away from SSC, and moved to
RACK (Risk Aware, Consentual Kink), so that folks know there is a
hazard of bodily injury, as, say, there is in playing football, boxing,
mountain climbing, hiking, etc.

Lee

You don't find this trend to be cause for concern? This movement away from safety and sanity?

Next thing you'll hear is that a lot of s/mers have gotten away from RACK, and moved to GITT (Got Injured? Tough Titty!)
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CrystalLight · Sep 28, 2008

😕.

Strider · Sep 28, 2008

drew70 said:
You don't find this trend to be cause for concern? This movement away from safety and sanity?

There's no move away from safety. In my own discussions on this issue, people seem to be of the view that safety is taking every available precaution before engaging in play, the point of the movement towards RACK as a philosophy is to make it known that even when you do take every available precaution, there's always that chance that something can go wrong, even with experienced players, and that you should be aware of this before engaging in play. This isn't something unique to SM play, it comes into play in recreation (there are plenty of people whose hobby is jumping out of planes at 13,000 feet and hurtling towards the earth with only a thin piece of fabric keeping them from becoming a greasy smear), and simply in everyday life (driving a car is not 'safe' in the strictest sense of the term).

As for sanity, in my experience, most kinksters define sanity as being of clear mental faculties when engaging in play (ie, not intoxicated or otherwise unbalanced). And there's certainly no movement away from that concept; RACK does not mean it's now ok to slam a few jager shots before you play with knives; the vast majority of kinksters understand you never, ever, engage in play unless you're anything but 100% sober (and when I say vast majority, that's only because I know one individual who played while drunk, which led to an accident, and his reputation is now basically ruined; word gets around fast).

Come on Drew, work with me here, I know you can do it.

Next thing you'll hear is that a lot of s/mers have gotten away from RACK, and moved to GITT (Got Injured? Tough Titty!)

No, you really won't.

If you're honestly interested, here's a couple of essays on the issue.

drew70 · Sep 28, 2008

Strider, I appreciate you sharing the essays. Having read them both as well as your post, I still feel that there's less of an emphasis on safety, and that de-emphasis is being rationalized by suggesting that since nothing is 100% safe, it's better to emphasize risk awareness than safety. It almost suggests you can be as reckless as you want, just be aware of what can happen. I'm sure this goes a long way to rationalizing some of the more violent aspects of BDSM.
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Redmage · Sep 29, 2008

There certainly is a move away from sanity here. But it's not in BDSM.

The move toward RACK recognizes two basic issues that the BDSM community noticed long ago:

1) "Safety" is essentially freedom from risk. The problem, then, is that there's no such thing, especially not in sex and most especially not in kinky sex. Having sex without a condom is risky. Diving into a swimming pool is risky. Crossing the street is risky. Bondage is risky. And so on and on.

2) No one really agrees on what is and is not an appropriate level of risk (i.e. sanity). That assessment is different for each person. Take Drew, for example. Please.

These two facts mean that "safe and sane" has no useful, generally agreed-upon meaning in BDSM. That makes it difficult to use as a guideline. Hence, "Risk-Aware Consensual Kink." It means that everyone involved in any sort of play is to be made aware of the potential dangers and then make an informed decision to consent to it.

But, of course, that doesn't offer the opportunity for drama and the chance to point a trembling finger at things one doesn't understand. And some people miss that.

Myriads · Sep 29, 2008

Please cut the cross talk surrounding B/D S/M play and it's safty and consensuality aspects. Take that to a new thread.

Focus on the OP's topic.

What do you Lers do to unerve your Lee's and make them feel off balance?

I, for one, like to tell them exactly what I plan to do once they are in a helpless state. Spoken in a nice even voice. A nice even tone. Then proceed to do it. Exactly. As. I. Described.

Myriads

drew70 · Sep 30, 2008

Myriads said:
Please cut the cross talk surrounding B/D S/M play and it's safty and consensuality aspects. Take that to a new thread.

Tried that. After three pages the entire thread was deleted. But I will cease discussing B/D D/S or S/M in this thread at your request.

As for the topic, one way to unnerve the lee is to untie her prematurely and announce the session is over. 😱
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girlboundforfun · Oct 2, 2008

Like that thought.

I really like the idea of being bound and made to watch a hard core tickling video before the ticking on me starts. Part of what I love is the mental part. I would also love to be shown the tickle tools and be told how each one is going to be used.

Keep in mind that for me, it is always about the torture, both mental and physical. In my mind and in my fantasies, I always pretend it is non-consentual on my part.

Unnerving your 'Lee: How do you Cause?

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