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100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman

CheshireCatNY

2nd Level Orange Feather
Joined
Sep 27, 2002
Messages
2,353
Points
36
(figured it was only fair 😛)

1. We can get laid anytime we want

2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar

3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk

4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying

5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg

6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class

7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret

8. We can marry rich and then not have to work

9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates

10. Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them

11. Men light our cigarettes for us

12. Men hold the door open for us

13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)

14. We're cuter

15. We lie better

16. We're better manipulators

17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch

18. We always have food in the fridge

19. We don't worry about losing our hair

20. We always get to choose the movie

21. We dont have to mow the lawn

22. We dont have to take out the garbage

23. We dont have to paint the house or walls

24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men

25. Cosmopolitan

26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole

27. Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold

28. PMS is a legal defense for murder

29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever

30. We can masturbate more in a day than men

31. 2 words- multi orgasmic

32. We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals

33. Sweat is sexy on us

34. We never run out of excuses

35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often

36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too

37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back

38. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often

39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner

40. Women are cleaner

41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)

42. We're better arguers

43. We dont always have to think with our genitals

44. Massage!!!!

45. We're better parents

46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night

47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men

48. We're flexible

49. When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can

50. Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50

51. Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex

52. Men in uniform

53. There is no penis envy

54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up

55. It generally takes us less to get drunk

56. We have a higher tolerance to pain

57. We often get to cut in line

58. Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT

59. Better tips

60. Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting

61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public

62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!

63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want

64. We dont have excessive amounts of body hair

65. We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet

66. Men will pay us for sex

67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile

68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return

69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want

70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us

71. Women sweat less

72. Women smell better

73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all

74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats

75. Women dont get the humor in the three stooges

76. Women have three accessible holes

77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons

78. We're better gossips

79. We have better fashion sense

80. We're better shoppers

81. We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man

82. Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone

83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)

84. We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage

85. We dont have to drive when on a date

86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked

87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line

88. Women know how fake it

89. Women look better naked

90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing

91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short

92. Women do less time for violent crime

93. Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up

94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night

95. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"

96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood

97. Women never have to see combat

98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves

99. Women are sexier

100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
 
Yep. Both lists boil down to sex, bodily functions and money.

...

Mildly depressing.
Hoped humans would be more than genitals with legs and a wallet.

😉

...

There I go again, taking these lists seriously.
Really, I should stop reading them.
I should know that sexist jokes don't work for me.
 
29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
 
lmao, this is good. I can relate to that .................................................
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..........I have a sister. 😛 Bet you thought I meant relate myself, huh? XD

MOD EDIT: OMG TEH SIDE SCROLLING!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I will not be out done XD

1. We can get laid anytime we want
Guess again

2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
Cant say...Ive never been to a bar

3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk
nessie would never do something so unladylike. I only pass out in bed when drunk!

4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
I dont drive. No tickets for me!

5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
I think this only works on tv >_>

6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class
Why I think this list was written by a man -_-

7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
Never have. Never will.

8. We can marry rich and then not have to work
This much is true.

9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
Never been on a date...

10. Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them
yes...written by a man...

11. Men light our cigarettes for us
why a man would want to help his girl smell like old garbage Ill never know....

12. Men hold the door open for us
you should hold the door open for anyone coming behind you. It's just polite.

13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
hmmm...this is mostly true.

14. We're cuter
Not true.

15. We lie better
I don't. Im the word's most horribly liar. I dont even bother trying.

16. We're better manipulators
<_< this, unfortunately, is true.

17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch
my bed is so horrible that the couch is a reward.

18. We always have food in the fridge
men...don't?

19. We don't worry about losing our hair
Yes we do. Men can make a baldy head work...the highly unfortunate women who lose some of their hair suffer a much worse fate than their male counterparts.

20. We always get to choose the movie
*points and laughs at all the men watching chick flicks*

21. We dont have to mow the lawn
I'd like to sometime...that ride on mower looks fun ^^

22. We dont have to take out the garbage
We don't? T_T I am so doing this woman thing wrong.

23. We dont have to paint the house or walls
plus we get to choose the colors. ^^

24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men
I dont suffer from this.

25. Cosmopolitan
wtf is that?

26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole
no...

27. Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold
There is truth to this. Though cars with door lockers on the keychains ruined this.

28. PMS is a legal defense for murder
grrr

29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever
why women get a bad name...

30. We can masturbate more in a day than men
Can we? Must experiment...

31. 2 words- multi orgasmic
say what now?

32. We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals
LOL! yes...true...

33. Sweat is sexy on us
No...it isnt...

34. We never run out of excuses
for...?

35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often
Bull dinky.

36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too
WTF? Yes...written by a man

37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back
I dont wear jewelry. I dont even own any.

38. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often
T_T nobody ever gets me this stuff

39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner
um...no

40. Women are cleaner
*looks around room* huh?

41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)
True.

42. We're better arguers
Are not!!

43. We dont always have to think with our genitals
but its more fun

44. Massage!!!!
heh...never happens

45. We're better parents
not true

46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
not true

47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men
where the hell are they then?

48. We're flexible
*touches toes*...um...a bit

49. When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can
That doesnt even make sense

50. Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50
Nature's cruel joke...giving children only to those not wise enough to do it right.

51. Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex
According to whoever wrote this I thought we never said no?

52. Men in uniform
Yes.

53. There is no penis envy
huh?

54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up
hmmmm...never thought of that....

55. It generally takes us less to get drunk
True that. It takes me practically nothing.

56. We have a higher tolerance to pain
owww...my fingers hurt from tyyyping....

57. We often get to cut in line
I'd never try...rude as hell.

58. Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT
most women? I think not.

59. Better tips
true. I sold Christmas trees for a few years and got twice the tippage as the boys.

60. Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting
Ohhh...Im sexy and wild!

61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public
yes...this much is true.

62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!
wtf...perfume? ewwww

63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want
cuz learnin hurts

64. We dont have excessive amounts of body hair
yes...I cant imagine what it would be like to have hairy hands >_<

65. We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet
and we dont need to open all the windows afterwards

66. Men will pay us for sex
what?! who the hell wrote this?

67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile
if it did we'd save a farkin ton of $ on birth control...

68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
hmmmmmm....

69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want
um....cant say Ive tried that one...Im not into atheletes anyway

70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us
And we get the money from the lawsuit ROFL

71. Women sweat less
We dont sweat at all...we "glow"

72. Women smell better
must be all the glowing...

73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all
>=O wtf?

74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats
No...just more likely to get CAUGHT

75. Women dont get the humor in the three stooges
thats a good thing? Actually I dont think Ive ever seen this...

76. Women have three accessible holes
man man man man man...

77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons
Yes we do o^_^o

78. We're better gossips
Thats a good thing? I hate women like this

79. We have better fashion sense
I dont T_T

80. We're better shoppers
And, according to this list, its not our money.

81. We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man
Yet we sleep around to get good grades? 😵

82. Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone
Friends? huh?

83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)
I have never participated in "girl talk" and have no desire to.

84. We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage
If this were true why are we not all stinking rich?

85. We dont have to drive when on a date
I NEVER drive

86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked
I dont own makeup and I havent ever "done" my hair...thankfully Im not all that ugly.

87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line
Ive never even heard that one. In any case...my hair wont take a curl so I dont bother.

88. Women know how fake it
But what would be the point?

89. Women look better naked
No...we dont. Ive always found the female body to be inherently ugly.

90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing
hmmmm...thats not...funny

91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BITE ME!

92. Women do less time for violent crime
*goes on killing spree* wheeee!

93. Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up
Yes we do XD!

94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night
do I need to say a man wrote this AGAIN? I mean...thats just gross and any woman could tell you that that is NOT where the action is.

95. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"
I wouldnt know...having no one to phone.

96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood
why not? or excuse is just "Im female"? >=(

97. Women never have to see combat
Only men who volunteer for it do (in this country anyway) so if they dont like it they shouldnt bitch XD

98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves
I sleep with in under my pillow. XP

99. Women are sexier

Again...no

100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
*sigh*

Bite me, Alex. I prove I can uber-reply too! XD
 
REVIVED! And WOW! I've been edited by a mod!...if only I knew what she means.....😛
 
It's not necessarily true about the victoria's secret. I had to stomach my pride and any future blows I would receive from my family to get a gift certificate there -.-;;;
 
MistressValerie said:
29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Funny the first time I heard this joke it went something like this:

What do women and linoleum have in common? Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever. *shrugs* How things change. 😎

Nessie you crack me up!

And if I were to take this thread serious, I'd be one unhappy camper.
 
Hey the guys profile of the guy says hes a guy and how does he know about the tampons thing huh? experience maybe?
 
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