• If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread
  • The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

A story about Bush (joke)

ShiningIce

3rd Level Green Feather
Joined
Feb 14, 2002
Messages
4,703
Points
36
A story about Bush

A "Bushism"



While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks
her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround
herself with intelligent people.

He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the
right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this
question:

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not
your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and
says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the
Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the
White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question
for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child,
and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your
sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to
you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves.

Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and
they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with
an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State
Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child,
and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers
immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb cracker."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the
answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."
😀
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Mod remark

Folks, if you can't understand political humor, or if you are easily offended by such, stay the hell out of our General Discussions area. It's a sad evidence for the immaturity of some of our members that I had to delete no less than 18(!) posts in this thread because of insulting and flame-baiting reactions, and the counter-reactions, and replies to counter-reactions, all posted within just a few hours. Just to make sure: Some reactions were perfectly civilized, but the posts they were referring to have gone now, so they were removed, too, as some kind of 'collateral damage'. I apologize to all members who kept a cool head here.

Do you think it's fun for the mods to spend an hour daily just for removing the heaps of garbage some members pile up as soon as no mod is looking? We're not online 24/7, because we actually have lives elsewhere, too. This forum is just a hobby for us, and if a hobby doesn't provide fun anymore, there's no reason to keep it. It hasn't been much fun lately, mostly due to a handful of people who seem to become bored by playing according to the rules. I don't wish any comments on this, and I'll delete any rehashing of the same old arguments at once.

You are free to reply with a joke on politicians from the other team. In fact, the same joke used to circulate in Germany with various names as 'protagonists', so it's adaptable to many political colors and persons. Let's try it again!
 
Actually, speaking as a Conservative, I thought it was damned funny.

Here's one that I hope the Loyal Opposition accepts as graciously:

A plane carrying Senator Hillary Clinton and her husband Ex-President Bill crashes somewhere in the Midwestern U.S. The Secret Service and the FBI immediately start going over every county with a fine-toothed comb to find the wreckage, which is quickly discovered on an Iowa farm.

The Secret Service Agents ask the farmer if he found any survivors.
"Yup," he says matter-of-factly, "The two pilots are up at the farmhouse. The Missus is fixin' 'em lunch right now."

"What about Senator Clinton? What about President Clinton? Did they survive?" ask the investigators.

The farmer pauses to spit out his chewing tobacco. "'Fraid not. I buried 'em m'self out back under the old maple tree."

"Are you sure it was the Clintons?"

"Yup. I saw their faces on the TV often enough to know 'em when I saw 'em."

"And you're absolutley positive they were killed in the crash?"

"Well, they was swearin' up and down that they was alive the whole time I was tryin' to bury 'em, but you know what liars those two are."
 
My point exactly if you can't understand a little humor then don't participate. I wonder why that doesn't always apply?
 
Now that's funny! Personally I am a great fan of Dubya. Not cos I like or admire his politics, but because he's the most amusing politician there is. I like Prince Phillip for the same reason.....that guy puts his foot in his mouth so often, I think he must have a foot fetish too!

"I am the President of the Untied Steps of Armenia....err..no that's not right..Antarctica! That's it. I have a lot of Sympathy for Boney Tair, because his kids and mine are always embarrassing us in public and getting intoxificated...."
 
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY POLITICAL PARTY!!! I 'm outraged!! I'm so mad I cant even breathe no one insults the democrats and gets away with it !! I demand this thread be deleted!! ......................Umm, well actually that was kinda funny.. 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
 
Equal time.

Sometimes, it's best to just go directly to the source. Don't kill the messenger. 😀


"And so, in my State of the — my State of the Union — or state — my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation, I asked Americans to give 4,000 years ... 4,000 hours over the next — the rest of your life — of service to America. That's what I asked ... 4,000 hours." — George W. Bush, Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002

"We've tripled the amount of money — I believe it's from $50 million up to $195 million available." —George W. Bush, Lima, Peru, March 23, 2002

"My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific." —George W. Bush, who apparently forgot about a little something called World War II, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." —George W. Bush, at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

"There's a lot of people in the Middle East who are desirous to get into the Mitchell process. And — but first things first. The — these terrorist acts and, you know, the responses have got to end in order for us to get the framework — the groundwork — not framework, the groundwork to discuss a framework for peace, to lay the— all right." —George W. Bush, referring to former Sen. George Mitchell's report on Middle East peace, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 13, 2001

"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the — in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it." —George W. Bush, July 27, 2001

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —George W. Bush, in Rome, July 22, 2001

"It is white." —George W. Bush, asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." —George W. Bush, at a news conference in Europe, June 14, 2001

"Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious — I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well." —George W. Bush, June 4, 2001

"So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations." —George W. Bush, in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001

"If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all." —George W. Bush, May 22, 2001

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —George W. Bush, May 14

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." —George W. Bush, May 11, 2001

"First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country." —George W. Bush, on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001 

"This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end." —George W. Bush, April 10, 2001

"It would be helpful if we opened up ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge). I think it's a mistake not to. And I would urge you all to travel up there and take a look at it, and you can make the determination as to how beautiful that country is." —George W. Bush, at a White House Press conference, March 29, 2001

"But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the—that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans." —George W. Bush, in a media roundtable discussion, March 13, 2001

"I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it." —George W. Bush, in an interview with the Washington Post, March 9, 2001
 
I think the key here is that political humor is successful when it either hinges upon character traits of the specific politician or else is so general that it's applicable to all politicians regardless of party affiliation. In this case we have an admitted conservative able to laugh at W's periods of Country-Bumpkinish mishandling of the English language and an apparent Democrat laughing at Slick Willie's habitual fibbing. If either joke had simply been a broad comdemnation of one party or the other, they wouldn't have worked and would have been seen as hostile attacks.
 
Hmm I guess I shouldnt pick on poor George. Its no challenge. 😛
 
What's New

11/9/2024
Visit Clips4Salw for more ticklng clips then you can imagine!
Tickle Experiment
Door 44
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** Jojo45 ***
The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Back
Top