I know it isnt until next week, but.. I've been doing a lot of thinking about all the events that have happened in my life in the year 2011..
2011 was divided into two parts for me. Everything before October 21st, the day my mom was declared cancer free, and everything after. After nineteen months of fear and worry, from March 2010, to October 2011, the last two months.. have.. thankfully.. been the quietest I've had in two and a half years. It's good to say that for a change.
Additionally, for those of you who supported me through my mom's ordeal.. but are fed up with reading my rants about my father.. there arent going to be any more rants about him. Since my ill advised Demonic Letter rant in June, I've not posted about him on the board. I intend to keep it that way.
Also, and I'm sure this will make some people chuckle, my mom has told me that she doesnt want to hear me go on about him anymore, giving me the.. "He was horrible to you, you just have to accept its over, and you're better off without him. You shouldnt want to hear from him".
Sobering thoughts from the person who loves me most in the world.
I have to look at it this way: For nineteen months.. I got down on my knees.. so many times.. praying to God, for my mom to beat the cancer. Now.. God willing, it looks like she has.. so.. that is the most important thing.
God gave me what I wanted: He didnt take my mom away from me. I'm eternally thankful for that.
The one thing I will say, is that I really didnt have time to think about the losses of my relationship with my father, and with my ex best friend, until this October, as I was too busy dealing with my mom's problems. I've been spending time coming to terms with those things over the past two months. I believe I finally have. I also have to think: "Better to come to terms with those things, than if God Forbid my mom had passed away"
The only personal threads/posts I will make going forward, would be about updates on my mom's health. I know from previous experience, that my friends wont have a problem seeing that, and will support me. That isnt antagonistic like bitching about "Dad" all the time.
My mom doesnt think I will ever hear from him again. Any further communication will likely just be between my mom and him, about alimony, etc. That has no place here. If I do unexpectedly hear from him.. I will keep it off the board.
One final thing: I think part of my problem.. was the whole idea of having my mom diagnosed with cancer, and then losing my relationships with my father, and best friend of 29 years, in such a short span of time.
All I have to think of before complaining about him is two things: 1. He dumped me at the worst time of my life, when I needed a father's shoulder to cry on, about my mom's illness. 2. The reaction to threads about him has not been positive.. so..
Sometimes it takes perspective from the person who loves you most in the world to wake one up., It has.. Anytime I think about him, I just have to think: "Get your head out of your ass, Mitch. You got what you wanted. Mom is still with you. She Thank God didnt pass away from her cancer. That's what matters".
So true.
Mitch
2011 was divided into two parts for me. Everything before October 21st, the day my mom was declared cancer free, and everything after. After nineteen months of fear and worry, from March 2010, to October 2011, the last two months.. have.. thankfully.. been the quietest I've had in two and a half years. It's good to say that for a change.
Additionally, for those of you who supported me through my mom's ordeal.. but are fed up with reading my rants about my father.. there arent going to be any more rants about him. Since my ill advised Demonic Letter rant in June, I've not posted about him on the board. I intend to keep it that way.
Also, and I'm sure this will make some people chuckle, my mom has told me that she doesnt want to hear me go on about him anymore, giving me the.. "He was horrible to you, you just have to accept its over, and you're better off without him. You shouldnt want to hear from him".
Sobering thoughts from the person who loves me most in the world.
I have to look at it this way: For nineteen months.. I got down on my knees.. so many times.. praying to God, for my mom to beat the cancer. Now.. God willing, it looks like she has.. so.. that is the most important thing.
God gave me what I wanted: He didnt take my mom away from me. I'm eternally thankful for that.
The one thing I will say, is that I really didnt have time to think about the losses of my relationship with my father, and with my ex best friend, until this October, as I was too busy dealing with my mom's problems. I've been spending time coming to terms with those things over the past two months. I believe I finally have. I also have to think: "Better to come to terms with those things, than if God Forbid my mom had passed away"
The only personal threads/posts I will make going forward, would be about updates on my mom's health. I know from previous experience, that my friends wont have a problem seeing that, and will support me. That isnt antagonistic like bitching about "Dad" all the time.
My mom doesnt think I will ever hear from him again. Any further communication will likely just be between my mom and him, about alimony, etc. That has no place here. If I do unexpectedly hear from him.. I will keep it off the board.
One final thing: I think part of my problem.. was the whole idea of having my mom diagnosed with cancer, and then losing my relationships with my father, and best friend of 29 years, in such a short span of time.
All I have to think of before complaining about him is two things: 1. He dumped me at the worst time of my life, when I needed a father's shoulder to cry on, about my mom's illness. 2. The reaction to threads about him has not been positive.. so..
Sometimes it takes perspective from the person who loves you most in the world to wake one up., It has.. Anytime I think about him, I just have to think: "Get your head out of your ass, Mitch. You got what you wanted. Mom is still with you. She Thank God didnt pass away from her cancer. That's what matters".
So true.
Mitch
