Ahh, here it is.
I was wondering what the odd tangential requests were in the main A/V Clip forum. Anyway, were you not paying any attention at all to the outcome of this topic, Conan? The sarcasm of P50's post? The pointing out that this is a post from three years ago? I mean, I can understand the desire to see this clip and all, but...
I don't know. I guess it's sort of an epic tale of built up hopes and disappointment.
*sighs*
<i>Dramatis Personae:</i>
M_____ Defavre - Tickle Clipmerchant
Monsieur Lemeur - Patron of Defavre's Clipshop
C. Norman Black - Just off the boat from England; Arrived moments too late to obtain clip
Sgt Gary Welles - Retired soldier; Requested clip years later after finding advertisement in street-gutter
Jack T Tickler - Keeper of Time (Watch-watcher)
Prince John L (50) - Sarcastic prince
Lord Oscar Monkey - Knower of things old and forgotten
You (Conan) - Oblivious wanderer
<i>3 Years Ago: Tickling Forum, Massachusetts, Clip Mercantile of M_____ Defavre:</i>
M_____ Defavre: "I am POSTING A CLIP! IN MY SHOP!"
Lemeur: "I HAVE DOWNLOADED IT FROM YOUR SHOP! IT IS A NICE CLIP. HOORAY FOR TICKLING."
M_____ Defavre: "I APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS AND HOPE YOU WILL COME AGAIN GOOD SIR."
Lemeur: "GOOD DAY TO YOU."
<i>The next day, same place:</i>
C. Black: "GOOD MORNING. ANY CLIPS TODAY, TICKLESMITH?"
M_____ Defavre: "I AM A CLIPSMITH. I SELL THE IMAGES; I DO NOT FORGE THE ACTUAL TICKLING ITSELF."
C. Black: "AHH, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY SLIP-UPPERY. IN ANY EVENT, DO YOU HAVE ANY CLIPS TODAY?"
M_____ Defavre: "I AM SORRY BUT THE BANDWIDTH POLICE HAVE SHUT ME DOWN. LORD MARSHALL ANGELFIRE MONTGOMERY IS INDEED TEH SUCK."
C. Black: "THAT IS A BUMMER MOST SINCERE, GOOD SIR."
M_____ Defavre: "INDEED. INDEED."
<i>Defavre closes up his shop, a single tear visible on his powder-white cheek. He sighs and walks off, perhaps to peddle tickling images door-to-door in more lucrative parts of the colonies.</i>
<i>Three years later, in the alley behind Defavre's still-empty shop:</i>
Welles: "WHAT IS THIS THAT I SPY WEDGED BEHIND THIS WOODEN PALLET? WHY, IT SAYS THAT THERE ARE TICKLE CLIPS AVAILABLE NEARBY. THE DATE IS SMUDGED, BUT HOPEFULLY I SHALL BE IN LUCK. I FOUGHT IN A WAR AND NEED SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND EROTIC TO EASE MY WEARY, BATTLE-RIDDEN MIND."
<i>Moments later, Defavre's shop:</i>
Welles: "THIS IS APPARENTLY THE PLACE." *knocks* "HELLO? HELLO? ARE THERE TICKLING CLIPS AVAILABLE WITHIN? HELLO? CLIPSMITH? HELLO?" *bangs on the door harder*
Jack Tickler (brought out by the noise): "I SAY, GOOD SIR, WHAT IS ALL THIS FLIM-FLAMMING HOO-HAW?"
Welles: "WHY, I AM LOOKING FOR TICKLING CLIPS, GOOD SIR. I HEARD THERE WERE SOME HERE."
Jack Tickler: "NO TICKLING CLIPS HAVE BEEN AVAILABLE HERE FOR A WHILE. WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO THAT CONCLUSION?"
Welles: "NOT AVAILABLE? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! (pause) WHAT BROUGHT ME? THIS." *hands flier to Jack*
Jack Tickler: "AHH, SEE HERE? THIS IS CLEARLY DATED THREE YEARS AGO."
Welles: "AH. I APOLOGIZE. I HAVE NOT MY SPECTACLES ON MY PERSON AND HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH SMALL PRINT AND THE READING THEREOF."
Prince John the 50th (overhearing from the street corner): "HAH! WHAT A CRIME 'TIS, FOR THERE TO NOT BE INFINITE AVAILABILITY OF ALL THINGS! I SAY NAY TO ENTROPY! ALL THINGS SHOULD LAST FOREVER! SUCH AN ATROCITY THAT A SHOP BE TAKEN DOWN, OR A TICKLE CLIPSMITH GO OUT OF BUSINESS! WHAT FOUL IMPS AND DEMONS RUN AMONG US THAT ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH THINGS? I CERTAINLY HOPE TO NEVER MEET ONE."
Lord Oscar Monkey (overhearing as well): "AHH, 'TWAS A FINE CLIP, THAT LAST ONE. I REMEMBER IT, AND IT WAS INDEED GOOD."
Conan (also overhearing): *walks between Welles and Jack; knocks on door of Defavre's shop* "I WOULD LIKE SOME TICKLING CLIPS, PLEASE!"
<i>Curtain</i>
