luv2bt&tickled
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2002
- Messages
- 1,696
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- 0
Diet Excuses
But the doughnut was calling my name.
But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.
Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
~~~~~
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out,
but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.
~~~~~
I don't exercise at all. If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them up higher on my body.
~~~~~
The advantage of exercising everyday is that you die healthier.
~~~~~
Did you ever see the customers in a health-food store? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying of course but they look terrific.
~~~~~
One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
😀 Love and peace. Tracy
But the doughnut was calling my name.
But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.
Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
~~~~~
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out,
but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.
~~~~~
I don't exercise at all. If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them up higher on my body.
~~~~~
The advantage of exercising everyday is that you die healthier.
~~~~~
Did you ever see the customers in a health-food store? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying of course but they look terrific.
~~~~~
One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
😀 Love and peace. Tracy
