Dave2112
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2001
- Messages
- 10,293
- Points
- 0
For his birthday, little Johnny asks for a bicycle. His father says, "Son, the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. I'm sorry, but we just can't afford it." The next day, the father sees little Johnny headed out the door carrying a suitcase.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Well, last night I heard you tell Mom you were pulling out," says Johhny, "then she said to wait 'cuz she was coming, too...and I ain't sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no transportation."
*******************************
Town redneck Bubba dies in a fire at the ol' shack, and his body is brought to the morgue. The coroner calls in Bubba's two brothers to identify the charred body.
"Yup, he's burneded up purty bad," says one of the brothers, "turn him over."
The coroner rolls him over.
"That ain't Bubba!" he says.
"Nope, it sure ain't," says the other brother, "Bubba had two assholes!"
"What?" says the coroner, "I've never heard of such a thing!"
"Yup," says the first brother, "Every time we'd go inta town, people'd say 'Hey look! There goes Bubba with them two assholes!"
*********************************
Two men are trying to play a quick 18 holes, but there are two slow female golfers ahead of them. The first man decides to go ahead and ask them if they can play through. He gets about halfway there, then quickly turns around and heads back.
"What happened?" his friend asks.
"I can't go over there! One of them is my wife, the other is my girlfriend! You go ask them."
The second man walks toward the women, also gets halfway there, and turns back.
"What's the matter?" the first man asks.
The guy shrugs. "Small world, eh?"
**********************************
Q: What's worse than hearing from your doctor that you have syphillis?
A: Hearing it from your dentist.
😎
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Well, last night I heard you tell Mom you were pulling out," says Johhny, "then she said to wait 'cuz she was coming, too...and I ain't sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no transportation."
*******************************
Town redneck Bubba dies in a fire at the ol' shack, and his body is brought to the morgue. The coroner calls in Bubba's two brothers to identify the charred body.
"Yup, he's burneded up purty bad," says one of the brothers, "turn him over."
The coroner rolls him over.
"That ain't Bubba!" he says.
"Nope, it sure ain't," says the other brother, "Bubba had two assholes!"
"What?" says the coroner, "I've never heard of such a thing!"
"Yup," says the first brother, "Every time we'd go inta town, people'd say 'Hey look! There goes Bubba with them two assholes!"
*********************************
Two men are trying to play a quick 18 holes, but there are two slow female golfers ahead of them. The first man decides to go ahead and ask them if they can play through. He gets about halfway there, then quickly turns around and heads back.
"What happened?" his friend asks.
"I can't go over there! One of them is my wife, the other is my girlfriend! You go ask them."
The second man walks toward the women, also gets halfway there, and turns back.
"What's the matter?" the first man asks.
The guy shrugs. "Small world, eh?"
**********************************
Q: What's worse than hearing from your doctor that you have syphillis?
A: Hearing it from your dentist.
😎
