A Marine and His Shoes

[ShiningIce]

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"
The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."
So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.
Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.
One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

That was a good story Shinning Ice😀
I was thinking at first this was going to be a sad tale. Thanks for sharing!
😛

 

[ShiningIce]

Glad you liked. 🙂

 

[slave4tickles]

Shinning Ice that was a cute story. I was like Tracy at first I didn't know what to expect. It was cute 😉

 

[sarlox]

But it was a sad story -- They killed the gator 🙁

 

[sole seeker]

Good one, Ice!

I work in a job that by it's nature requires some military experience. Consequently, I work with lots of ex-marines. I was in the navy, which has historically had a friendly rivalry with the marine corps.

I like to kid 'em whenever we hire a new guy that was in the marines, with the old joke:

My Question: "Why did we have marines on ships?"
My Answer: "Because sheep would be obvious!"

I'm an old fart, so one day when I was riding with a particularly young ex-marine we'd just hired I started the joke:

My Question: "Why did we have marines on ships?"
His Answer: " 'Cause you needed protection and we needed bitches!"

To this day we're best buds.

😛

 

[Flatfoot]

A platoon of Army rangers was on patrol when their Lt. noticed a lone Marine standing on a hill top in their area. The Lt. told two of his men, "I want you to go take down that filthy jarhead! Let's show the Marine Corps who the most elite fighting force the world has ever seen REALLY is!"

They promptly ran as fast as they could toward the Marine. Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill. The two soldiers followed. For the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and the Marine came up on the hill top. He brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the soldiers, smiling smugly.

The Lt., pissed, called for a squad to go get that @#$%*@# Marine. They promptly ran as fast as they could toward the lone Marine. Just before they got to the top, the Marine ran back over to the other side of the hill. The squad of rangers quickly followed. For the next few minutes there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Then as quick as it had started, it stopped and that single Marine came up on the hill top. Again, he brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking at the soldiers, this time saying, "Is this the best the Army rangers has to offer? This is sad!".

The Army Lt. was FUMING now. He was part of the Army Rangers, the most elite, deadly, badass muthaf*ckas around. He wasn't gonna take this trash-talking from a single Marine. He ordered the rest of his platoon to attack. Determined that the rangers were far superior to the Marine Corps, they had blood in their eyes as they ran up the hill, screaming. Just before they got to the top, the Marine quickly ran over the other side of the hill. The rangers followed in a frenzy.

For many long minutes ,there were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. Helmets and bodies could be seen flying left and right. It continued and continued. Finally, as one ranger was tossed over the hill to land at the feet of the Lt. drenched in blood, and battered all over, with bits of his cammies torn off, The Lt. asked for a situation report.

The ranger, bloody and beaten replied in a forceful and fearful voice "Sir, it's a trap! There's TWO of them!!!"

 

[amk714]

These jokes crack me up! Just because we're on the same side, doesn't mean we can't poke fun at each other. Thanks, all! 😀