A philosophical question about a father-son story from another board

[WorkInProgress]

Months and months ago on a completely different message board in a completely different community and system, I came across a true narrative in which a man offered an apparently true account of tickling his 12-year-old son.

The story was extremely detailed. It quoted the whole prior conversation leading up to it, and then gave a minute-by-minute description of the tickling, body part for body part. He then described the big hug they had after the "session," and the conversation which followed. He included the fact that he felt a little guilty, asked his son if he should apologize, was assured by his son that it was perfectly okay. (The tickling had not been by any prior consent, though the son did seem to be inviting future ticklings like that one.)

I get the impression that the community was different from this one. The fact that one of the participants has a screen name built on the words "tickle boys" (I won't say the exact screen name) might be a clue. I didn't search it enough to know for sure what that community is like. I can say, though, that every single one of the half-dozen responses he got was favorable. One respondant praised him for doing such a good job of showing the emotional bonds between tickler and ticklee; others gave him similar approval.

Personally, without calling this man any nasty names, I do have my concerns. Your thoughts?

(I may share a little more of my own views a little later on.)

 

[amk714]

Nothing wrong with parents tickling their children, but depending on how long the "session" lasted, that father may have went too far, even if his son agreed to it. 🙁

 

[Novus]

Where is CPS when you need them

If this is anywhere as bad as I think it is then this guy should be arrested. For sake of the legitimate tickling community we should express our moral outrage of these sickos. We don't even allow minors to post here so why should we condone the use of children as tickle toys.

 

[drew70]

My feeling is that it is inappropriate for an adult male to tickle children for any duration. I wouldn't go as far as to arrest the father in this case; a good swift kick in the ass would suffice.

 

[sarlox]

Personally I have no problem with Parent/child tickling. It is a wonderful form of bonding. My problem comes with the father posting the session for all to see. Esp. if it was very detailed. Family tickling should be kept w/in the realm of family/friends -- not on the internet.

 

[asutickler]

Disgusting!

Posting a lurid, detailed account of such activities in a sexually-oriented forum has some serious overtones of pedophilia and incest.

That is just f*cking sick! 😡

 

[WorkInProgress]

This is pretty much the way I reacted too. I'm figuring that the difference in reactions is a function of the different communities involved, even though both are under the rubric of "tickling."

The way I look at it, there are two general kinds of tickling: casual tickling and systematic tickling. Outside of the community of those who experience it as a fetish, it's a casual thing. When parents tickle their children in that context, it's casual. Systematic tickling, or "having a tickling session," is where there's more of a sexual dimension to it. The paradoxical thing is, it's the kind of sexual behavior that has "plausible deniability" built into it. That is, while many of us think that the father's behavior in that narrative is a form of incest, he's in an easy position to say "Parents tickle their children all the time, how am I any different?" (And, of course, I'm saying he's a lot different, by differentiating between the casual and the systematic.)

I gather, then, that people on this board generally don't condone or encourage people with tickling fetishes bringing their children into it.

 

[ShiningIce]

I think this stuff should not be broadcasted all over the internet.

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

The question is...

Is this man a ticklephile.

If so, he needs to stop. If not and nothing is coming out of it bad, it's alright.

We really do have to watch ourselves much more than non-ticklephiles!

 

[TickledToDeath]

I have not seen the message board or the post in question so I cannot give any real feedback except for this...
Yes there is nothing wrong with parents playfully tickling their children...BUT, if a parent ties his/her child down and tickle tortures him/her, there may be a problem. I know to each his/her own but a man/woman must know his/her limitations. Certain lines cannot be crossed.


TTD

 

[Deleted member 2452]

i think where the story...

...was posted, is the big key.
if it was posted to a homosexual mens board, then it was ment to be titilating. which is sick.
if it was posted to a board deeling with family issues, or a single parent board, then i think it's just bad judgement, but not purient, or sick. m/m stories are gross to me, but as long as they are adult/adult, and labled they are welcome here on tmf. *shivers* i will never underdtand it though!
steve

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

The fact that the father said he felt guilty afterward and thought that he should apologize to his son says it all to me. He knew that what he was doing was wrong (probably tickled his son for too long a period of time, and probably had more *fun* than he should have).

I see nothing wrong with innocent "tickle monster" type games between parent and child, but any tickling that goes on for more than a couple of seconds is TOO LONG. Tickling can be real torture for kids, and a good parent should know that. I have a four year old daughter, and I never tickle her for more than a second or two. I have witnessed extended tickling between a father and his child, and I didn't like it at all. I felt the need to come to the child's "rescue" (although I did it as playfully as I could without insulting the Dad, who I think was just being playful himself.) But when I saw the helpless expression on the kid's face, it struck the overprotective mommy nerve in me, and I couldn't help myself.

As parents it is our job to define our child's boundaries for them when they are little...protect them. We have to sense when enough is enough for them. And when the child IS old enough to decide where their boundaries are, they should be acknowledged and respected. Best thing a parent can do for their kid is empower them with the ability to say no! I wasn't taught that lesson as a child, and to this day I still have a hard time saying no.

Again, I am not attacking the innocent tickles between parent and child. I think that WIP made a good distinction between the "casual" and the "systematic". The only time a "systematic" tickling should be done is between two consenting adults. There are no exceptions to this rule for me. It honestly creeps me out to read or hear about parent/child tickling stories because once they are posted, it brings a whole different dimension to it. It is no longer an innocent tickling between parent and child, it had now become a sexual instrument for others. The writer knows who is going to be reading it, and as a parent I know that I wouldn't want anyone getting sexual enjoyment from something that I did with my kid.


Maggie

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

Maggie,

I agree with you. When a child is young tickling can be very hard on the child. I guess it depends on the child, but a child should never have to fear his/her parents!

 

[WorkInProgress]

This shows me the difference in communities.

When I read the post on that other board that I'm referring to, I had the same reaction as all of you. However, on that board, the man got praised. Now that I've read your responses, it's more clear than ever that that other board was a much less wholesome and morally scrupulous community than this one, to put it very euphemistically. In this community, people openly avow that systematic tickling (as opposed to brief casual play) is a sexual fetish, and insist that it should only take place between consenting adults. That other board was apparently a community in which they deny that systematic tickling is sexual, and thus reinforce each other in justifying extremely inappropriate behavior.

I'm actually a little embarrassed now for having raised the question, since I raised it in a community where the answer--and rightfully so--is considered obvious. However, I was a bit thrown off by the favorable response that the man got on that other board, and wanted to apprise myself of how that mentality would compare with here. In retrospect, both the principles and the difference between the boards are very clear, and as they used to sing of the Bowery, "I'll never go there any more."

Thanks.