A poem I made a few months ago

[ViperGTS]

Please have a look

I made this with ispiration from my g/f and I splitting and our attempt at a post-couple friendship (they never work out, do they?).
I'd really appreciate some feedback.
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"Sorrow"

No words can express the pain in my heart,
For a true friendship has fallen apart
Now it's in pieces, laid out on the floor,
It's now gone forever; non-existent; no more
I want to go back in time to the past
To undo all the things that will forever last
I'd do anything just to make it all right
The pain runs so deep I cry myself to sleep at night
Life doesn't wait for me or slow down at all,
I just can't keep up as I stumble and fall
How many mistakes can I make in one day?
A good true friend is now gone to stay.
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I got word in the mail on Feb. 2nd that it was selected for national publication in the 2002 edition of 'Letters from the Soul', which has yet to be released, as they are still compiling it. Is it really that good?

 

[Scooby112211]

Vipey, it's not really good, it's DAMN good! Thanks for sharin with us bro! 😀 😀

 

[ViperGTS]

no prob

I just thought it might be a good idea to get a second opinion before I got a big head. 😀 Just kidding. I have others, if you want them, but I've been told that they are not quite as good.
Thanks for the positivity.

 

[Myriads]

Nice work. I quite like it. It deserves publication.

One of mine:

The Thorns of Love

The thorns of love stab the heart
cut so deep
shred a soul apart

Those thorns of love hold you tight
grasp and trap
sap all your fight

Thorns of love draw your blood
drops at first
then an emotional flood

Oh, those thorns of love attack the mind
pierce your thoughts
about hopes they wind

Those thorns of love never die
after roses crumble
in hearts they lie

Myriads



Myriads