A political joke..don't jump my bones, Reps..hehe

[melanie2]

This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away. There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."

"What?" the operator exclaimed.

"I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police." the little old lady repeated.

Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?

"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing somebody!"

 

[Fallon]

:thumbdown

 

[JackVanderson]

Nice one rofl

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

lol,good one Izzy.

 

[Dave2112]

:cool

 

[toesinhose]

Have you heard McDonald's has an Obama Value Meal now?

It's true. You order whatever you want and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Hahaha

 

[kopfhorer1]

Have you heard McDonald's has an Obama Value Meal now?

It's true. You order whatever you want and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Hahaha

With the Bush Value Meal, you order whatever you want and several generations' worth of the guys behind the counter have to pay for it!:lol

 

[Violetta]

I have to wonder, though, if our dear Izzy knows what the phrase "jump my bones" actually means...

 

[melanie2]

My dear Bella i do indeed know what jumping my bones means..and yippee i finally remembered my password lol...i've been trying for ages to remember..

 

[paracarl44]

:lol

 

[Pat_the_Baker]

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote…personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had a Sarah Palin sticker…we try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired…it’s important at our age

 

[melanie2]

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote…personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had a Sarah Palin sticker…we try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired…it’s important at our age

hahahaha good one.

 

[TFStudio]

How can you tell the diff between a Republican and a Democrat?

A democrat will take from the rich and give to the poor.

A Republican will take from the poor and give to the rich, but not before pocketing some of the money himself.

 

[Hootus1]

When it comes to screwing somebody, that sounds more like Bill Clinton to me!!!

 

[TFStudio]

When it comes to screwing somebody, that sounds more like Bill Clinton to me!!!

Yeah, but when Clinton screwed the nation, at least nobody died. At least Clinton didn't send our brave men and women overseas to die for oil or to avenge Dear Ol' Dad

 

[melanie2]

Yeah, but when Clinton screwed the nation, at least nobody died. At least Clinton didn't send our brave men and women overseas to die for oil or to avenge Dear Ol' Dad

major win...

 

[likeasong1]

Yeah, but when Clinton screwed the nation, at least nobody died. At least Clinton didn't send our brave men and women overseas to die for oil or to avenge Dear Ol' Dad

Please don't tell me you believe 9/11 was an inside job.

 

[TFStudio]

Please don't tell me you believe 9/11 was an inside job.

Not per se. Honestly, I don't think Bush Jr was bright enough to come up with a plan that didn't include connect-the-dots

But I do believe the CIA and the Bush Admin had some fore-knowledge, but refused to act, because it would have done away for their plans to invade Iraq.

Now Bush Jr had wanted to invade Iraq for quite some time. 9/11 just gave him the excuse he needed.

Also 18 of the Hi-Jackers were Saudi nationals. Yet why are we not at war with them?

 

[melanie2]

Please don't tell me you believe 9/11 was an inside job.

9/11 was not the job of Iraq..

 

[TFStudio]

9/11 was not the job of Iraq..

Correct. It was the Sauds.

 

[TFStudio]

I really don't like talking politics, because usually somebody gets pissed off, so I will leave with just one more thought: During the previous election campaign, Bush got his funds from 2 major sources

1. The NRA

2. The oil companies.

Then Bush decided to invade a country with one of the largest oil reserves in the entire world?

Coincidence?

I'll let each person decide that for themselves

 

[likeasong1]

No, I know it wasn't the Iraqis. It just astounds me to what lengths people will go to to express their hatred for W. He was nowhere near the best president, but I'm also rather hard-pressed to say he was the worst.

As for Iraq, even Clinton went on the record to state that he had believed the Yellowcake memo too. So no, I do not believe the war was about oil. Too simplistic. Was it mismanaged? Oh goodness yes, but W isn't the nearly the villain that he gets made out to be.

 

[TFStudio]

No, I know it wasn't the Iraqis. It just astounds me to what lengths people will go to to express their hatred for W. He was nowhere near the best president, but I'm also rather hard-pressed to say he was the worst.

As for Iraq, even Clinton went on the record to state that he had believed the Yellowcake memo too. So no, I do not believe the war was about oil. Too simplistic. Was it mismanaged? Oh goodness yes, but W isn't the nearly the villain that he gets made out to be.

I don't hate Bush, as I try not to hate anybody. Hate is counter-productive. But I would be lying if I said he was the model President that the GOP'ers paint him as.

He was just answering to the oil companies, who financed his campaign.

And just to add: The UN itself stated there was no report that Saddam was manufacturing WMDs. That's another lie cooked up by the Bush Admin to justify invasion.

And since when did it become the job of America to police the world?

 

[Carnivore]

So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote…personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had a Sarah Palin sticker…we try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired…it’s important at our age

Crazy Clown, that's hilarious. Harsh, but hilarious. I wish I was there to see it.

As for my own lame joke:
Two guys are sitting around talking about politics.
One of them asks the other, "So why are you a Democrat?"
"Because my daddy and granddaddy were Democrats," was the man's reply.
"What if your daddy and granddaddy were horse thieves?"
"In that case, I guess I'd be a Republican."

 

[likeasong1]

Yeah, TFStudios, I can agree with that at least.