ShiningIce
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How do you help a friend get over a rape?
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A Question
- Thread starter ShiningIce
- Start date
His Divine Shadow
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Ice: Check your phone book. There should be, somewhere near the front, a list of hotlines you can call for help, one of them being for rape. It may sound stupid, but the best thing is for the friend to talk about it with somebody, be it you, a psychiatrist, or just the hotline counseler. The people running that line are trained to know where to tell you freind to go. I would start there.
nosforatiop
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Seeking some kind of counseling would be your friend's best option as HDS said, it might also do her some good to talk to someone else who has been through a similiar experience. Best you can do is just be there when your friend needs you, and listen when he/she wants to talk about it, and also allow them to cry on your shoulder when needed.
TklDuo-Ann
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Get her to a doctor to get checked out. After that, a rape crisis center is the next step. As stated, it should be listed in your phone book. She should probably file a police report. She doesn't have to be alone in doing that. Going with her could be a tremendous help. If possible, request a female officer, as it may be less intimidating.
Some things to keep in mind when talking to your friend. Remind her that it wasn't her fault. Even if she put herself in a situation that later led to the rape, she didn't ask for it. Also, she'll talk when she's ready. Give her the opportunity to talk about it. But, don't pressure her to do so. Many feel a good deal of shame and fear about relating what took place. So, listen and be supportive. But, don't pry.
You'll both be in my prayers.
Ann
Some things to keep in mind when talking to your friend. Remind her that it wasn't her fault. Even if she put herself in a situation that later led to the rape, she didn't ask for it. Also, she'll talk when she's ready. Give her the opportunity to talk about it. But, don't pressure her to do so. Many feel a good deal of shame and fear about relating what took place. So, listen and be supportive. But, don't pry.
You'll both be in my prayers.
Ann
4Pawz
3rd Level Red Feather
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Everyone has given great advice here. Ann for the most part I agree with you. There are different things that need to be done. Yes, get your friend to a doctor and get them checked out. Next, report it to the law enforcement agency that has jurisdiction at the location the rape took place. Be there for your friend, make sure he or she has someone to talk to. And yeah, don't force your friend to talk, they will when they are ready.
There are some counceling centers that can help with this, and some special shelters that have programs to help him or her, which the law enforcement agency should give them information on. Ann made a good point, depending on the gender of your friend, asking for a male or female officer is good for comfort levels. This will deeply affect him or her, so don't expect them to just return to normal right away, it will take a lot of time, and talking. Reporting the crime, and the counceling, will allow your friend some closure to the situation.
Letting them know they didn't cause or deserve it is important. I know most of this is repeat information, but having dealt with plenty of rape victims myself, repeating is sometimes important. If you have any more questions or anything, feel free to send me an e-mail, I will help as much as I can. Take care
Pawz
There are some counceling centers that can help with this, and some special shelters that have programs to help him or her, which the law enforcement agency should give them information on. Ann made a good point, depending on the gender of your friend, asking for a male or female officer is good for comfort levels. This will deeply affect him or her, so don't expect them to just return to normal right away, it will take a lot of time, and talking. Reporting the crime, and the counceling, will allow your friend some closure to the situation.
Letting them know they didn't cause or deserve it is important. I know most of this is repeat information, but having dealt with plenty of rape victims myself, repeating is sometimes important. If you have any more questions or anything, feel free to send me an e-mail, I will help as much as I can. Take care
Pawz
red indian
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This..........
....is clearly a matter for the law enforcement agencies, not the TMF.
....is clearly a matter for the law enforcement agencies, not the TMF.
Re: This..........
Speaking of which...............
Ice phone your nearest police station immiediatlely and ask for the phone number of your local Rape Crisis Centre. They will begin to help your friend deal with the psychological side of things. The best you can do in that case is be there for her/him and take advice from those professionals on the best way to help you be the best friend you can be under the circumstances. Even given advice from professional councellors though, you'll often feel like you're winging it and making up the script as you go. It'll be quite trying but you've always got people here you can talk to privately. 🙂
If this has just happened within the last few hours, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES allow your friend to wash or do anything that makes herself/himself cleaner as this could damage or destroy vital phorensic evidence. It is vital that your friend is helped at a hospital first (where appropriately trained saff will be able to advise) to prevent that from happening. If your friend doesn't wish it, the police do not have to become involved on an investigative level, but I would advise it nonetheless. Even if all your friend wants to do is get over it as best they can, it is vitally important that this incident be recorded for the sake of future victims. If it's possibe for any DNA evidence to be obtained in this case (if it's not already happened) then it can either catch someone who's already offended, or categorise the DNA of someone who might strike again and blight other innocent lives. This is the most important part of the whole process, but quite often the hardest to deal with.
If your friend was up to that, she/he would be doing a great service to other potential rape victims and would greatly assist in nailing the piece of vermin responsible.
red indian said:
Speaking of which...............
Ice phone your nearest police station immiediatlely and ask for the phone number of your local Rape Crisis Centre. They will begin to help your friend deal with the psychological side of things. The best you can do in that case is be there for her/him and take advice from those professionals on the best way to help you be the best friend you can be under the circumstances. Even given advice from professional councellors though, you'll often feel like you're winging it and making up the script as you go. It'll be quite trying but you've always got people here you can talk to privately. 🙂
If this has just happened within the last few hours, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES allow your friend to wash or do anything that makes herself/himself cleaner as this could damage or destroy vital phorensic evidence. It is vital that your friend is helped at a hospital first (where appropriately trained saff will be able to advise) to prevent that from happening. If your friend doesn't wish it, the police do not have to become involved on an investigative level, but I would advise it nonetheless. Even if all your friend wants to do is get over it as best they can, it is vitally important that this incident be recorded for the sake of future victims. If it's possibe for any DNA evidence to be obtained in this case (if it's not already happened) then it can either catch someone who's already offended, or categorise the DNA of someone who might strike again and blight other innocent lives. This is the most important part of the whole process, but quite often the hardest to deal with.
If your friend was up to that, she/he would be doing a great service to other potential rape victims and would greatly assist in nailing the piece of vermin responsible.
