A Smart Woman

[JoBelle]

Subject: Smart woman

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all
of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He
loved money more than just about anything, and just before he
died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna
take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to
promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put
all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife
was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got
ready to close the casket, the wife said, " Wait just a minute!"
She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the
casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they
rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't a fool enough to put all that money in there with that man."

She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with your
husband?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I looked in the bank account, noted the total there and wrote him a check for the exact amount."

*rimshot*

 

[venray]

To continue the theme.......

The Mermaid's Wish


There are three guys and they’re out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. One of the guys just doesn’t believe it, and says, “OK if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q.”

The mermaid says, “Done.”

Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, “Triple my I.Q.”

The mermaid says, “Done.”

The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to the mermaid, “Quintuple my I.Q.”

The mermaid looks at him and says, “You know, I normally don’t try to change people’s minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you’d reconsider.”

The guy says, “Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don’t do it, I won’t set you free.”

“Please”, says the mermaid, “You don’t know what you’re asking...it’ll change your entire view on the universe -- won’t you ask for something else… a million dollars, anything?”

But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times its usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said, “Done.”

And he became a woman.




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