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Advice please!

D

Dude'sonfire

TMF Expert
Joined
May 9, 2004
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Well hi there!

Fairly simple topic: It is now three years since my time in high school ended, I am 20, nearing 21, and I am about to move out for the first time and into a flat with 2 of my friends, one male, one female.

I merely wish to ask you if I can draw on your collective wealth of experience.

Any tips/warnings/prophecies/inuendos/creeeeepy tales :wooha: concerning similar experiences any of you had? I would appreciate any input.

Thanks!
😀
 
So why do you envy him? 😛

I dunno, still in college, didnt move out. Lol, um, dont drive drunk? 😛
 
Seperate your things and make it clear what belongs to who so you all aren't using eachother things by accident.

Organization for a trio living in the same place is vital to maintaining some sort of order and avoiding chaos and confusion.

Also, a really big suggestion is to make an agreement with the others and make sure they agree to it as well. The agreement is to promise that if they're going to have parties or guests over (either for a while or overnight or whatever) that they get the approval of the other two first.

Something that can totally ruin roommate relations is when your roomies are letting all sorts of people into your home, letting them consume your food, and possibly damaging private property.

Make it clear from the very beginning what is and what is not ok in the house, who can come over, who has access to the house, and when these people are allowed to come over.

You need to set some basic ground rules and change and tweak them as needed. Everyone needs to work as a team on this and be considerate of the other two.
 
Sometimes Vlad, you remind me of google...you have an answer to everything. 😉
 
Vladislaus Dracula said:
Seperate your things and make it clear what belongs to who so you all aren't using eachother things by accident.

Organization for a trio living in the same place is vital to maintaining some sort of order and avoiding chaos and confusion.

Also, a really big suggestion is to make an agreement with the others and make sure they agree to it as well. The agreement is to promise that if they're going to have guests over (either for a while or overnight or whatever) that they get the approval of the other two first.

Something that can totally ruin roommate relations is when your roomies are letting all sorts of people into your home, letting them consume your food, and possibly damaging private property.

Make it clear from the very beginning what is and what is not ok in the house, who can come over, who has access to the house, and when these people are allowed to come over.

You need to set some basic ground rules and change and tweak them as needed. Everyone needs to work as a team on this and be considerate of the other two.
Click to expand...

Yeah... my girlfriend's roomate had a boyfriend who literally lived at their flat at the food etc, didn't have a job and wasn't going to college. It totally drove my GF and her roomated apart, and the year previous they had practically been best friends... good advice.
 
F.L. Atlanta said:
yeah, but Vlad's answers are more logical than Google's.
Click to expand...

Ever tried this? Type in Failure on the search toolbar, and click on I'm Feeling Lucky. 😉

(I'm not allowed 2 vote until like 2008, so I really dont have an opinion on parties or Democrats/Republicans, or any of that other stuff! Its just funny! 😛)
 
Really? Ok....I WILL BE A BILLIONARIE TOMORROW MORNING!!!!

Good night! 😀😛
 
Hey, we all have an answer for everything, just some have better and/or more applicable ones than others... *ahem* 🙄
 
Dude'sonfire said:
Yeah... my girlfriend's roomate had a boyfriend who literally lived at their flat at the food etc, didn't have a job and wasn't going to college. It totally drove my GF and her roomated apart, and the year previous they had practically been best friends... good advice.
Click to expand...

Yeah. That is totally the type of situation you want to avoid. You may be able to trust your roomies, but a complete stranger? I don't know about that. It's really easy to take advantage of a situation like that (from the boyfriend/girlfriend's perspective).

Alot of them are deadbeats with no job, no goals, no money, and they overstay their welcome. Worse yet, they may try and drive a wedge between you and your friend by using their romantic relationship with them.

Don't EVER agree to letting someone actually live with you guys unless you've removed all doubt to their ability to equally contribute to the upkeep of the place. If they are able to, but then one day aren't, its all the same and they need to leave if they can't keep up with their dues consistantly.

Even if they're just passing through or staying for a few days, make sure to have a definite date they have to be out by and be ready to enforce it. It's really easy to be a nice guy and let people stay a little longer, but if you do that, they may realize they have a good thing going here, and get the notion into their head that they are a part of this place and deserve to be there just as much as you do even though they are not technically included in the lease or what have you.

Sadly, sometimes these situations are only resolved when worst comes to worst and the renter/tenant contract is compromised and YOU end up out on the street and/or friendships are lost.

Don't ever let it get that far.
 
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Tip # 1- Put a tie on the doorknob when you are in the middle of...tickling... hehe 😉
 
One time my roommate offered me some of the food he was cooking, and while I was deciding, he sneezed and I heard it go "TSSSSS!" on the frying pan.

My advice is to wash dishes before and after using them.
 
If you have only one bathroom and you expect one of the other tenants to be using it soon after you do, please give a courtesy flush.
 
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I never lived with roommates, but my gf has.

Based upon stories she's told me, a good peice of advice is to always remember to lock your bedroom door when ur sleeping for the night; and when you leave for the day.

Not that you would suspect your room-mates of anything; but it gives everybody a peace of mind, and removes any "temptations".
 
I don't know. If you have to lock your door to avoid temptations from your room-mates, then it says to me you either can't trust eachother (or yourself) to keep the tenant relationship proper, you have poor will power, and/or you are living in a sexually charged atmosphere of your own allowance and are inviting these types of situations to occur.

It's good advice to lock your doors for privacy and security, but to do it because you might trust yourself sexually around your owm roomies seems troublesome. If you're living in that kind of an atmosphere then locking a door won't do any good, and it may be better if you find different room-mates that won't distract you from your studies, job, or what have you.
 
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That's all well and good, Vlad; except one thing: I never mentioned the word "sex".

Good advice, but doesn't apply to my post.

"Temptation" is a general term that could apply to anything, it isn't limited to sex.

For example: A room-mate may be tempted to borrow my shirt. I may like the guy and all; but I'm a germaphobe and would rather not have somebody else touching my things. So rather than raise a big stink about it when it happens, and make ppl feel awkward; I just simply lock my door. That way nobody can get in without my say-so; and I can sleep comfortably at night and not have to worry about ppl barging in for whatever reason...

Another pet-peeve of mine is people barging into my room without knocking. I'd hate to lose an all-round honest-to-good roommate because he's a "Kramer" 😛 so I'll just lock my door, and he'll have to knock if he wants to come in...

Like u said: Privacy, and Security. Sex was the last thing on my mind m8
 
I never mentioned or eluded to sex either. I said sexually-charged atmosphere, wherein, anything short of or up to sex could happen in however subtle or blatent way that may occur.

It would only ever have the potential to be a real problem with a guy living with girls or a girl living with guys. Or, alternatively, a gay man who is interested in his male room-mates, or lesbians interested in their girlfriends.
 
I would suggest using a strong Windows password on your computer, and a BIOS password as well if that option is available. When away from the computer, always remember to lock it with the Windows-logo button + L.
 
It should go without saying that you shouldn't leave your credit cards, bank cards, social security card, or other vital information laying around the house or in an easily accessible place.

Either hide these things well or take them with you.

Also, as an extra precaution, it may be a good idea to to have your mail forwarded to a P.O Box instead of having all mail going to the same address.
 
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