All but Outed

[kyle]

Today after school two of my good friends came over. The guy being my best friend and the girl being someone I have been moving in on for some time. Well we are all in my room and hank (my best friend) is on one computer and Rachel is on the other. Being the good host that I am I was just lying on my bed. Out of nowhere I heard Rachel call the attention of someone, not sure if it was me or hank, to her computer. As I looked over I saw a FC vid clip playing..FUCK. Nothing sensual either, but a nice bondage clip. Of course I reacted surprised and blamed it on some virus, but I'm guessing they saw right through me. Hank even spurted off something about a tickling fetish.. How the hell did hank even know what the hell that was? Rachel said something too.. I was too panicked to think rationally.

It did not take me long to figure out that Rachel had ventured into the Recently Opened Documents section of the Start Menu which displayed about 15 FC clips. Just last night I had took the time to cancel that option in the start menu and on top of that the clips were all on a CD. It seemed impossible for me to get caught. As luck had it I must have not shutdown correctly or something of that nature because the Recently Opened Documents feature was enabled. Also in some weird twist of fate the CD with the clips had been in the CD drive. I was screwed..

Now I am faced with the choice to tell them. Hank had already said "Man that freaky shit had me scared" or something along those lines, so I know his reaction. Rachel on the other hand might be different, but I can only see the worst. This is the same girl I made a 'if you lose i tickle' bet.

Some insight on my situation would be very helpful.

 

[Oddjob0226]

Well, how old are you guys? Your friend reacted negatively... but was he really just trying to cover and was possibly interested? Your female friend - what was her reaction compared to Hanks? Perhaps, as she is getting older and learning more about her sexuality, she is more curious about what turns her, and others on, where as many guys I've met are less curious.

Hmmmmm, this is tough. Well, you are expecting the worst, so, to some extent, things can't get any worse- you are prepared for it. on the other hand... just wait. Try to get with her alone more often. See what she has to say... it may be a little sneaky, but that's why this is all a game, a dance..... eventually, if she mentions it, or even if she doesn't, you might try broaching the subject with her alone, slowly, even almost in an apologetic, submissive seeking aproval way. Let her know in any & every way you won't hurt her, have no interest in hurting or embarrasing her, and let her know you just want her honset thoughts.... maybe just ask her... "So that thing you saw on my computer..... did it bother you...or.. What did you think of that -I didn't intend to scare you, it just fascinates me..." or some such thing. And yes, if it helps tip the scales in your favor, offer to let her do to you whatever you do to her; if you like to give, then let her know you would be willing to recieve, but only for her ( even if you don't wan to.... she may be as curious as you, but also as uncomfortable... but isn't she woth the sacrefice?). Just thoughts.....

 

[JoBelle]

This may actually be a blessing in disguise. 🙂

If you choose to talk to her....approach it as simply the most natural thing in the world. You can initiate the conversation by saying something like, "You didn't buy the old 'tickling computer virus?' You should have seen the look on your face when you saw that video on my computer." Then just give a sly grin and laugh a little. Something like that takes the pressure off of YOU being the one with an "issue." (After all.....who is to decide what works for you...or what she might like if she tried it???) Then just let her take it from there. She's bound to ask you what it was about.

Just tell her that you just like the feel of a soft woman's body under your hands and that a woman's laugh is sexy and intriguing. As far as the clips....just say that you found them online after typing in the words "erotic tickling" on a lark one night (I'm sure that's not a lie) and thought you'd see what it was about. She doesn't have to know everything at once, does she?

What woman doesn't find it cute to be tickled a little. She may not love it, but she's flatterd that you are being flirtatious, I'm sure. My guess is after you made your "tickle" bet, she actually giggled.

Just don't let it become a big deal. As far as the other aspect, alot of people are into bondage. Otherwise, not so many people would have heard of it! My guess...your guy friend probably has thoughts of it himself and was a bit embarrassed by what he saw. (Hit to close to home, ya know?) Don't even talk to him about it. Just let him wonder. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I only suggest talking to the girl as you've mentioned possibly having some feelings for her.
Good luck!

$.02
Jo

 

[drkjedi458]

you have just experienced my worst nightmare. im not open with my fetish in the slightest way. the word freak followed me around most of my teen years cause of a neurological disease and ill be damned if ill ever have it thrown in my direction again. paranioa is my best friend. it promotes caution and thats why iv never been outed. i go to the taskbar and clear the recently opened documents when its filled with sensitive material. the folders i have those materials in are all hidden. just remember kyle....whatever you dont want anyone to see, keep it well hidden. clear your documents and hide your folders if anyone besides you is going to be fooling around with your computer. as far as your friends negative reaction goes...if you dont make a big deal of it more then likely he'll forget all about it. this is strictly from a closet ticklers point of view. if you want to use it as a springboard to become more open i say more power to you. if you really have been busted you wont be any worse off.

 

[JoBelle]

Well, gee is my face red.
I suppose I was thinking it might make him feel a bit better to know that the possibility exists that his friend was as embarrassed and/or as "freaked out" as he was for possibly the same reasons.

I forget how hard it is for some people to deal with others' opinions regarding this topic. No jabs there at anyone. I just don't worry about such anymore. Sorry if I seemed crass in that last post by suggesting something that was likely not the case.
Jo

Interesting point about age though...this could very well happen at any age and the reactions be very similar. Couldn't it?

 

[kyle]

First off I am in high school, but I have been on this board since it's conception, just not always a poster.

The more I thought about it last night the more I knew Rachel had to know I had a tickling fetish. Too many things in the past made it so obvious when she found this clip. I'm afraid if I don't say anything to her she'll tell someone else, so I'm going to tell her at the next best oppurtunity.

Hank is a different story. I would be shocked as hell if he was actually interested. It would really not bother me to tell him, but I think I convinced him last night it was a weird virus/trojan. He might have bought it, but either way he's going to keep his mouth shut about it, I just have a gut feeling.

 

[mysterytic]

Keep in mind their reactions

Each of your friends may have reacted differently if only you were present. The presence of the other friend may have had an influence on each other's reaction. Whatever you do it would be wise to do it one on one, with nobody else present.

 

[Grad]

React rather than attack. H.S. alone brings it's own troubles. Why complicate it with being labeled. Word spreads faster than ebola in H.S. Just the harsh truth you already know by now.

Let THEM bring it up. Especially the young lady. Then again, if you're interested in her, just go get her first, THEN worry about all that tickling stuff that's secondary. Then maybe she'll find out through casual play that tickling is fun and interesting.

 

[Grad]

oops, one more thing.

Just be prepared for any question you might get from either of them. Have something so that you won't get caught saying "ummmmm...aaaah". Something convincing and sure sounding. Can't go wrong with that.

 

[john2510]

If... and only if... it comes up, I'd be inclined to say,

"A friend of mine e-mailed me that... pretty weird stuff."

or...

"A friend of mine who knows I'm into tickling e-mailed me that... pretty extreme stuff."

Have an explanation prepared for who your friend is.

An alternative, of course, is the truth. That sometimes works 🙂

That's my universal cover story for anything the pops up on my screen unexpectedly.

BTW - Two stories:

The first time I was playing with downloading pics from newgroups I tried to pick an inocuous subject matter. I chose one that I stumbled across - cops.

My (female) partner comes in as it's downloading. She reacted with shock and asked me what was on my computer. I turned to find a semi-naked buff guy in the remnants of a police uniform.

I told the truth. Still not sure if she believed me.

Story two:

I was visiting my sister. Trying to find something using Internet Explorer with her and her husband standing behind me. Went to either history or favorites... and it called up a list of web sites that were obviously pornographic.

She questioned where they came from. To cover for her hubby I told her that some web sites and e-mails can impose URL's onto your computer that you never visited.

I also explained that looking at a dirty web site or two isn't the end of the world...

 

[JoBelle]

Kyle, I wish you luck. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Scot...one of these days...you...me...someone tied to a bed..and lots and lots of giggling. 🙂

Jo..an advocate of hiding behind the truth.

 

[kyle]

Ok, I could not gather the balls to tell her. I spent all day worrying like hell that she was going to bring it up. I thought for sure she would bring it up when just me and her went somewhere for about an hour after school, but she didn't. I'm pretty sure she knows and it's really getting to me.

If the question arises I'll be honest about it, but my current plan now is to wait until I'm really drunk to tell her. Not being able to talk about it with someone face to face is frustrating and telling her when I'm piss ass drunk will be easy.

I appreciate all the suggestions and insight on my mini-trauma. I am certain I will have to turn to this board again for more advice in the future.

 

[dvnc]

A suggestion or two, Kyle:

1) Don't go for the "booze for bravery" notion. Nothin' sounds quite as bad as a person tryin' t'unload their feelings while plastered. Watch someone do that, and see if y'don't agree. 'Sides, few locations in the world have legal drinking for folks in high school. Hell, I'm ASSUMING you're of legal age to be HERE.

2) You COULD simply say, "D'you think it's weird that I'm so interested in tickling?" When she replies, you'll know how she feels, WITHOUT having to make some big deal out of it. Then, if she tweaks, you can always change the subject. If she doesn't tweak, you win.

Either way, brother, you're doin' what many here never do. Most just quietly play a bit, then fool around, and hope that their partners catch on to the association 'tween the two.

G'luck, brother!

dvnc

 

[TicklingDuo]

Kyle

It sounds like you already have a head start on things. Let them "find" the stuff again. That's a natural opening for you. If they're curious about having seen it already, they're likely to look for it again. Once they do, maybe you can look over their shoulders and watch it with them...make a couple of comments...say "Looks like fun!" and get in a dig or two of your own. See where things go. Just keep it natural. Everyone is nervous about people knowing things that seem odd or quirky in us. They'll likely understand your nervousness and just go with the flow.

good luck!
Ann

 

[Oddjob0226]

Man, I guess the 'suppressed memories' theory is indeed true, because this thread brought one back! Before I get into that, though...

Kyle, after stepping back and looking at this issue -and, yes, it IS easy for me to talk, except that I have the same interest as you... - after stepping away from it, you are taking this way too seriuosuly and are panicked about something that, in the long run, is very insignificant. So yours friends found something wired on the net. Who doesn't? Your frineds might tell people you are into it..... well, some people will make fun of you - hey, they would anyway with some OTHER ammunition, right? That's high school...it doesn't change Other people will ignore it or remain silent about the rumors; the noble thing. And one or two people, with your same interest (I can bet they are out there...you have Howard Stern listners at your school, right?) one or two of these people might come to YOU for help and advice. Pal, your next parents-are out-of-town party may be your best yet!!!!! Really, if no one has said anything yet, or even if they have, relax and breathe.....

Now, MY outing, which I suppressed ( out of embarrasment - no REAL harm ever occured!) It was around 1986, I was a freshman in college and had just purchsed THE video, "Tied and Tickled #1". I was home with a friend, still in H.S., a year younger than me..... We were about to go out & we were in my room getting ready. He noticed a tape in my vcr, so he turned on the t.v. and played the tape. Guess what it was...... Well, I tried to take it out, embarrassedly admiting it was a "porno" and therefore, since we both knew what it was, hee hee, we therefore didn't actually need to see it, right? Right? Well, no, this got him more interested in the tape... to my humiliation we wathced about 15 minutes of the tape - lots of tickling. My friend was highly amused. I "covered" by saying that I thought it was a porn tape but was abviously ripped off, because it never got down into "anything" (!!) My friend agreed, I had been ripped off, since all I really had was a tape that depicted "foreplay", & not the culmination of foreplay. Now this was before so much tickling stuff was out there, and I don't know what my freind thinks today - and I ain't askin' him!- but, ultimately he was amused that such a thing exsisted, and that I bought it. And, even if he DOES suspect that I have such a fetish, he doesn't bring it up because he realizes that A). I'm not the only one B). It doesn't matter in the long run what my behind closed doors sexaul interests are...and C). It doesn't involve him. Oh, and little d). at the age of 34, his interest in teen redheads is very unseemly, so I've got more on him than he has on me ( I checked out HIS bookmarks!) There have been a few other hiccups in the system....the time my parents caught me ordering a tickling video (NOW that was embarrasment) and one of my female friends realizing that I also had a foot fetish and she told her best friend ( embarrasing, but thankfully the result was their feet are now well cared for!),but overall, a few friends know what my interets are, mostly through clever & nosy detective work, and many friends don'tknow about it, and, while I'd love to tell them and have a big old tickle party at my house, I just don't feel comfortbale in talking to them about it. All I can say is, if they really are your friends, they won't intentionally hurt you, and, besides, if the freindship goes deep enough, you will eventually discover something about them..... I know I'm not the only tickler in my peer group, I'm just the one who has 'the bug' the worst, and I now know about 2 cross dressers in my social circle..... you learn stuff about them, they gather and discover stuff about you, and life just goes on. Try not to fear.

 

[kyle]

I have spent alot of time with Hank and Rachel since it happened Monday. I could not believe that neither one of them has said anything. We have even ventured into the subject of finding weird things on peoples computers and I could not believe Rachel did not bring up the incident on Monday. Although I did change the subject quickly. All I can think is that she must know and is just going to keep her mouth shut about it.

I still want to tell her. There is no reason for it to be taboo if she knows. It could be awkward as hell but I guess I'll have to wait for a good moment.