njjen3953
4th Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2001
- Messages
- 2,858
- Points
- 0
CINDERELLA
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with
everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two
conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later,
and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be
home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella
doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the
fairygodmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to have turned into a
pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took
care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter,
something or other...."
---------------------
PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away
enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing
happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
--------------------
RED RIDING HOOD
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword
to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To
that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said,"No,you're
not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"
----------------------
MICKEY MOUSE
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge
said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey
replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
-----------------------
SNOW WHITE
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face
screaming, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Oh.....by the way, did you know Captain Hook died from jock itch?
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with
everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two
conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later,
and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be
home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella
doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the
fairygodmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to have turned into a
pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took
care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!" "I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter,
something or other...."
---------------------
PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away
enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing
happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
--------------------
RED RIDING HOOD
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword
to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To
that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said,"No,you're
not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"
----------------------
MICKEY MOUSE
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge
said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey
replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
-----------------------
SNOW WHITE
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face
screaming, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Oh.....by the way, did you know Captain Hook died from jock itch?
