Taken from an Aussie newspaper........ (If you can't guess who gave me the heads-up on this one, you truly don't deserve the brain God gave you.😀 Give it back immiediately and let someone else use it! 😛
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How did the Yanks get into the World Cup?
August 12, 2003
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The US play rugby? Pull the other one, writes Gordon Waters.
It is about 60 days till the opening fixture of the Rugby World Cup between Australia and Argentina. The defending champions will open their campaign with hundreds of thousands of fans pouring in from all over the world. Kylie Minogue and Thirty Odd Foot of Grunt will do a duo on Advance Australia Fair at the opening ceremony. Then a lot of rucks, mauls, line-outs and tries. Sounds perfect.
Then I discover that the Americans are participating. Can this be true?
Australia has this love-hate relationship with the US (Central and South Americans get very upset about the US being regarded as "America", OK?). For reasons with which we are all familiar, hate has been the more prevalent lately. But with the Kindergarten Cop possibly about to be elected as governor of California, we might want to change that emotional matrix to love-laugh hysterically.
Be that as it may, I wanted to know how the Yanks got into the World Cup. Probably the same way they got into Iraq: they cheated.
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Maybe they asked for some help from Poland, another rugby world superpower. I called the US embassy but they thought rugby was a breed of dog.
I found out it's Spain's fault. The American rugby squad, the Eagles, beat the Spanish rugby team in the repechage stages of the World Cup tournament to gain one of the final places. They had won 58-13 and 62-13. Being suspicious, I figure a deal was done between George W. and the Spanish president, Jose Maria Aznar.
Should I laugh or be outraged? Americans, frankly, should be home playing gridiron. You know gridiron? That's rugby with 87 guys per team who stand around a lot, run a bit, are named after whitegoods, and high five more than low tackle.
But it gets worse. The US is the Olympic champion of rugby. George Gregan, if you just choked on your breakfast cereal and were rushed to emergency, I'm sorry, but it's true. Rugby was last an Olympic sport in 1924 and the US won the gold.
The Yanks can't help themselves, can they? They need to participate in everything.
They've started an interesting competition recently: the Superpowers Cup. This is not, as you might imagine, Don Rumsfeld's rugby squad playing his other squad, his "smart" squad. It is a competition between Japan, China, Russia, and the US. I thought there was only one superpower.
Look, I'm not really angry. Let the Yanks play. Americans are lovely. They have only ever won one game at a previous World Cup, in Brisbane. George W. will probably be at his ranch in Texas so he probably won't call and tweak John's ear a bit, promising an auspicious trade deal in return for a better result for the Eagles.
The better team will win and on November 22 there will be a rugby world champion.
Maybe it will be the Americans. There could be worse things. Couldn't there? Eddie McGuire as prime minister?
Home > Opinion > The Heckler > Article
How did the Yanks get into the World Cup?
August 12, 2003
Print this article
Email to a friend
The US play rugby? Pull the other one, writes Gordon Waters.
It is about 60 days till the opening fixture of the Rugby World Cup between Australia and Argentina. The defending champions will open their campaign with hundreds of thousands of fans pouring in from all over the world. Kylie Minogue and Thirty Odd Foot of Grunt will do a duo on Advance Australia Fair at the opening ceremony. Then a lot of rucks, mauls, line-outs and tries. Sounds perfect.
Then I discover that the Americans are participating. Can this be true?
Australia has this love-hate relationship with the US (Central and South Americans get very upset about the US being regarded as "America", OK?). For reasons with which we are all familiar, hate has been the more prevalent lately. But with the Kindergarten Cop possibly about to be elected as governor of California, we might want to change that emotional matrix to love-laugh hysterically.
Be that as it may, I wanted to know how the Yanks got into the World Cup. Probably the same way they got into Iraq: they cheated.
advertisement
advertisement
Maybe they asked for some help from Poland, another rugby world superpower. I called the US embassy but they thought rugby was a breed of dog.
I found out it's Spain's fault. The American rugby squad, the Eagles, beat the Spanish rugby team in the repechage stages of the World Cup tournament to gain one of the final places. They had won 58-13 and 62-13. Being suspicious, I figure a deal was done between George W. and the Spanish president, Jose Maria Aznar.
Should I laugh or be outraged? Americans, frankly, should be home playing gridiron. You know gridiron? That's rugby with 87 guys per team who stand around a lot, run a bit, are named after whitegoods, and high five more than low tackle.
But it gets worse. The US is the Olympic champion of rugby. George Gregan, if you just choked on your breakfast cereal and were rushed to emergency, I'm sorry, but it's true. Rugby was last an Olympic sport in 1924 and the US won the gold.
The Yanks can't help themselves, can they? They need to participate in everything.
They've started an interesting competition recently: the Superpowers Cup. This is not, as you might imagine, Don Rumsfeld's rugby squad playing his other squad, his "smart" squad. It is a competition between Japan, China, Russia, and the US. I thought there was only one superpower.
Look, I'm not really angry. Let the Yanks play. Americans are lovely. They have only ever won one game at a previous World Cup, in Brisbane. George W. will probably be at his ranch in Texas so he probably won't call and tweak John's ear a bit, promising an auspicious trade deal in return for a better result for the Eagles.
The better team will win and on November 22 there will be a rugby world champion.
Maybe it will be the Americans. There could be worse things. Couldn't there? Eddie McGuire as prime minister?
