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An intro to my mainstream novel

Duke Diablo

4th Level Red Feather
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Sep 26, 2004
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Well, after a long thought, I have decided to share this tiny bit of my work, to see how you guys like it. It is the beginning of the novel I'm writing, and while it doesn't hint at all to the happenings in the story, it does give some insight into the men the main character, Isabelle, is going to fight later (yes, she and her team are gonna fight those guys later into the story), and it is a nice foreplay for the action that is to follow. Any feedback is welcome. So, here goes...



"Can you make me some coffee, please?", Duke asked.
"Make it yourself once we're done with the mission! We got no time to be fucking around!" Isabelle was furious. She couldn't believe her partner was so calm about all of this. They were on a serious mission. "We have a mission to do here!"
"Yes, we do, and at the moment your mission is bringing me some coffee!" Duke sounded like he wasn't in the mood to argue, and Isabelle didn't want to waste any more time on this. She was in a real hurry... they had to take down the five buyers of the list of secret agents of the agency she was working for. Isabelle and others strongly opposed hiring outside help, but in the end they had to confess they would just end up being discovered, now that their secret identities were no longer secret. The bigwigs said these guys are the best, and they certainly charged a lot... one million per head. Isabelle wasn't so sure about all of this... these guys certainly didn't seem like top-notch killers. This guy with her, Duke was how everyone called him, was assuring her all the marks will be dead by noon. Now it was 11:40 AM, and these guys didn't even seem to be making a move. All of this was really annoying Isabelle, as was their attitude. Duke ordered her to remain with him because 'none of the men wanted to be slowed down', as he said. Isabelle was furious, to say the least. She had perfect record, and was the best field agent the agency had. This guy Duke did not seem impressed, even after she told him that, in her missions, she had killed more than fourty people in total. In fact, he seemed to know the exact number... fourty three... and he also knew her bra number. Isabelle slapped him, but he seemed amused.
"Pretty nice, if I might say", he said, a smirk on his face. "Many women would be quite jealous."
Isabelle slapped him again... she had to admit to herself that her body was her pride. After all, in her line of work as a top secret agent, feminine charms came in handy. It had many practical uses, but it also made all other female agents turn green with envy, and she often recieved special treatment from her male colleagues. Of course, she couldn't allow her vanity to be seen, so she slapped the man again and rained a hail of fiery insults upon him and his family. She didn't find Duke to her liking. His demanor lacked seriousness which was required in this line of work. On the outside, though, he did look like a killer, though. He was tall, skinny, with broad shoulders. He had short brown hair and a devious face, with 'evil' written all over it. She really didn't know what Ayize saw in him. She was absolutely stunned by him... and she even found his humor (if you can call that humor) charming. Isabelle really didn't understand her. She never had taste in men.
As she was coming back with the coffee, she saw Duke staring at few monitors. He turned to her, his face calm as a surface of frozen lake.
"Ah, Isabelle, you're just in time! We're just about to start. Thanks." Sipping the coffee and putting it down, Duke turned to his monitors and started speaking to his communicator. "Blaze, you in place?"
"Yeah." The man who answered was Blaze, and if his record was true, he was a genius with explosives. Of course, since the only records of these guys in existence were the ones they provided, that could have easily been far-fetched.
"OK, then, let me put you on visual so our little missy can see a real pro in action", Duke said. As he said that, in front of them appeared a serie of displays. Security cameras, Isabelle figured. On one of them, Blaze's huge shape appeared. He was wearing his usual outfit: black leather jacket and jeans. He looked kind of scary, being so big and muscular. He reminded Isabelle of a bear a little.
"Everything is in place. Now make a wish and we'll light up the candles", the big man said, lighting a cigar.
"OK, I wish little missy here would shut up."
As soon as Duke spoke out those words, Isabelle started shouting at him, cursing him and making quite a few interesting remarks about his family.
"Hmm... You know, a few dynamite sticks could handle that", Blaze said.
"Yeah, but then we don't get paid."
"Ah, yes, that minor detail. Well, never mind that now, let's get this over with! I wanna go get myself a beer."
"OK, patch this up and go get yourself a drink." Duke switched to satellite view. Isabelle didn't remember her agency giving him authorization to use it. He zoomed to the building in which their target was. As soon as he got a clear view, the building went off with a big blast, crumbling afterwards. It was like someone loaded it with explosives.
"Ooh, you put in some extra explosives, haven't you?", Duke teased. "Well done." Then, he turned to Isabelle. "All right, miss, it seems one of your targets is dead. Let's move on to another."
"Good luck, mate!", Blaze said over the communicator. OK, now that really impressed Isabelle. The guy Blaze was off to kill was stationed in a huge building operated as a top security bunker. There was no way to even approach it (at least that's what her agency told her after loosing many agents that tried to infiltrate it in the past), let alone fill it with explosives in such manner. The guy must have filled the whole place with explosives for it to blow out like that.
"Thanks mate. Doc, you in place?", Duke was calling another member of the team. Doc, as his nickname implied, was a student of medicine, and was the top student in his generation. He would have been a very successful doctor did he not pick a career as a hired killer. What little she found out about him was also that he was using his knowledge of human anatomy and poisons as tools of assassination. He was quite a sadist, too, from what she heard. Some of the things she read in his file made her shake.
The display screens changed to show a ballroom full of people. Duke picked one which singled out the guy he was looking for. It wasn't tough: He was one of the tallest people there. Not too hard considering he was in Italy, Isabelle mused. But the guy was tall. He was wearing a black tuxedo and his hair was slicked back, ending in a tiny ponytail. When Duke called him, he was socializing with some women who attended the ball. Hearing the call, he smiled and responded:
"Ah, Duke, my friend, you are just in time for the show... Oh, but excuse my rudeness. These two beautiful ladies are Cecilia and Graziella."
"Oh, dear sir Vincenzo, you are such a charmer", one of them said. "But, please, tell us, who is this... Duke you speak of?"
"Oh, just a colleague at work", Doc replied, smiling. "We were hired to kill some people, so I was dispatched here to assassinate don Garibaldo, the host of this social meeting, a man who obtained a certain... item... he shouldn't have."
The girls looked shocked, and then one of them laughed. "Hahaha! Very funny, doctor Vittorio. For a moment there, I really believed you were serious."
"Oh, but I am serious, milady. I have poisoned all the food and drinks in this little party and, of course, taken an antidote myself. You, and everyone else here, will start dying a very, very painful death shortly. Actually, the efects will start to take effect... now." As soon as Doc finished speaking, a scream was heard. It was one of the women, who started spitting blood. The two girls started crying and screaming out for help, but to no avail. Soon, they too succumbed to poison, spitting blood and screaming from agonizing pain. The whole ballroom was filled with people clutching, spitting blood, praying for their lives and screaming in painful agony. Very soon, everything went quiet, and the only two persons still standing were Doc and his escort for the night.
"Come, mylady, let us get away from this rather gruesome scene", he told his escort as he took her arm under his, and gallantly walked away from the scene.
"I hope that girl will know to be silent, Duke", Isabelle said. "He should have killed her along with the rest! I thought you said you never leave any witnesses."
"I also hoped he would kill her back then... Would be much more humane." Duke sounded distant.
"What do you mean?", Isabelle asked.
Duke turned to her and looked in her eyes. "We don't leave any witnesses, as you said. He left her alive with only one purpose: he will take her to his hideout and torture her to death there. To her, death will come as a blessing. Don't worry, we are professionals. We do what we were paid to do. Now, let's go on to the next one. Blake, you there?"
"Yes, and I'm on a roll here!" The man who replied was sitting at the table in a Monte Carlo casino. That is where the third man they were supposed to kill was supposed to be located... and it seemed this Blake found his target. He was sitting at the same table as his target was, playing blackjack.
"OK, mate, time to show your stuff. Impress me." Duke sat back, relaxed and drank the coffee. The man called Blake just smiled and continued playing blackjack. He didn't seem to be doing anything. He just sat back, relaxed and played the game. This really frustrated Isabelle. Of all the guys there, he and Duke seemed like the least capable guys of the team. With what Doc and Blaze displayed so far, Isabelle was surprised they let guys like them even know about teams like these. This guy was also tall, like everyone else there, and he had messy brown curly hair. Everyone called him 'ladies man', because he spent a lot of time with girls. Even when they came to hire him, he was surrounded with six blonde babes in binkinis serving him and crawling all over him. His records said he was a genius mechanic, with a collection of gadgets that would make James Bond look like a prehistoric.
Then, Isabelle noticed the guy sitting up and excusing himself. Then, he went to the men's room. Before entering the facility, he stood behind a plant and pushed a button on his watch. On the second camera, one showing Blake's blackjack table, the target clutched his side and fell on the floor bleeding from his stomack.
"Nice one, Blake", Duke said.
"What the hell did he just do?", Isabelle wanted to know. She didn't get it. The guy didn't seem to do anything. He just... pushed the button.
"He planted a gadget under a table and activated it. That's all", Duke explained. "Blake, mate, good luck with the blackjack. Enjoy."
"Thanks, Duke", Blake responded. "Luck seems to be on my side today... And I saw a really pretty chick that has taken an eye out for me. Don't wait for me, guys."
"All right, we are leaving Monte Carlo and heading for... Colombia. You there, Drake?"
"Oh, yes!", the reply was heard. Being that there weren't many security cameras around, Duke used government's spy satelite to bring up the view of the man he wanted. He got a good shot: the man was indeed the one called Drake, the group's hand-to-hand and heavy gun specialist. It was unmistakeable: only his head could give that reflection, being clean-shaven like that. This muscular guy sometimes reminded Isabelle of buddhist monks in build. Not an ounce of fat was on him, all converted to muscle during heavy trainings. Blake told her this guy was once a decorated soldier, top member of a special strike force, but he quit, seeing how their tasks were 'below his level, offering no real challenge'. "This is gonna be so exciting! A task I'll enjoy!"
Duke was silent and let the man do his stuff. Drake circled around the house a few times, avoiding guards. Suddenly, he picked a window, took a long stick and charged the house with it. He used the pole as a leverage to get into one of the windows. Once inside, he jumped the man operating the turret from behind and broke his neck. Then, he sat at the gun and started firing it at the nearby wall. Being that walls were wooden, they were easily smashed by heavy machinegun fire. In the next room lay dead bodies of the fourth target, a Colombian druglord, and his wife. The next moment, a huge alert was raised, and all of druglord's men rushed to see what was this shooting all about. Drake took the minigun with him and slowly retreated. As soon as he would see someone peek his head, he would use the minigun to tear him to shreds. For his escape, he used a route which was relatively safe, with no machinegun turrets looking that way, thus making sure he wasn't outgunned. As soon as he reached it, he vanished into the jungle, leaving the machinegun behind. Druglord's men tried to find him, but to no avail.
"He's really going to need a new bulletproof vest after this", Isabelle commented. "This guy is lucky he didn't get himself killed."
"Maybe it is luck...", Duke agreed. "But, we should move on to the next target. Last one is mister Hagata from Japan, if I am right."
"Yes", Isabelle said, agitated. "And who is going to take care of him? I don't see anyone flying to Japan, even less being there! How do you intend to kill him without actually being there?"
«Just shut up and let me do my work, ok?», Duke said, bringing up the security camera display of what seemed like an impenetrable fortress. Not only were the guards all around, and in great numbers, there were automated turrets placed everywhere. Nothing could penetrate it, Isabelle thought. She really wanted to see how will they pull this one out.
The display shifted to the room where Hagata was having tea with his wife and daughter.
«So, what now? Who do we watch now?» Isabelle was provoking the guy. She didn't know why, but she enjoyed taunting him. It was probably because the guy didn't seem to have any ideals. This was just a job for him, just like being a bank manager would be. However, as soon as she said this, turrets started firing at Hagata, filling him with bullets and covering the room with his blood and brains. His wife and daughter started screaming. Not for long, Isabelle thought.
«All right! You got him! Now finish these two off!», Isabelle practically screamed at Duke. This really impressed her, the ease at which he killed the guy and the way he did it. He didn't even blink an eye when he did it. Also, the speed with which he hacked the turrets was impressive. However, Duke ignored her orders and closed the display, finishing his coffee.
«What the fuck are you doing?!», Isabelle shouted. «You are supposed to leave no eyewitnesses! Now, get back there and kill those two!»
Duke looked at her and, with an unseen coldness in voice said:«Mission complete. Those two saw nothing. They know nothing. If you want them dead, it will be 2 million extra.»
«What do you mean they know nothing?! They saw...»
«They saw turrets killing their husband and father! That's it! They don't know who did it, they don't know why I did it, and they certainly don't know how I did it. There is no danger to your agency any more. All the buyers are dead, I deleted all the records from their computers and now your identities are back to being 'secrets'. Now, I suggest you run back to your precious agency and tell them we did what we were paid to do.»
«Go to hell!», Isabelle shouted at him and slapped him. It made her feel better. She hated this man, who seemed to make a mockery out of everything she held in high regard. She took her job because she believed that she could make world a better place to live, and she trusted in her agency, which was protecting the whole world from terrorists and criminals. She turned around and started packing her stuff, but Duke called to her: «Hey! Missy! Blake wants to speak with you.»
«What could he want... give him to me!», Isabelle said, taking the phone from Duke, who left the room.
«Hello, fair lady.» The voice coming from the other side was definitely Blake's. «Enjoyed the show we put up for you?»
«It can pass», Isabelle said, smiling.
«Aw, now you broke my heart», the voice on the other side of the phone sounded like it was about to burst laughing. «OK, listen, I'm throwing a party to celebrate a task well done, so I was thinking if you would care to join us. It will be a private party... just the few of us who were on the task. I'd be glad if you would come.»
«Um, thanks, but I really shouldn't...»
«Nonsense! I don't think anyone will mind if you take a day off and have some fun. C'mon, girl! Live a little!»
«You won't let me go until I say yes, right?»
«Exactly!»
«All right, then, I'll be there, then... You know, it's really nice to see that some of you actually have some charm and politeness to themselves.»
The voice on the other side was laughing. «I see you enjoyed your time with Duke. Oh, well, I hope I'll see you tomorrow afternoon in my villa. Bring your everyday, casual clothes... party will just be a friendly mingling. Untill then, farewell. Bye.»
«Bye.»
 
😀 interesting remarks on his family. Interesting characters, interesting story, not to say that I can see which way this is going. Continue working hard and this will be an excellent story 🙂
 
Thanks, Bashiku. Glad you liked it. I will most certainly continue working on this, to make it a novel I can be proud of.
 
wow she sure likes to slap old Duke around...hmm of course that remark about the size of her breasts well..lol...anyway..wow this is written with such intricate details and descriptions..and ack that Doc..how sadistic of him to use poison, which is very painful, or can be..and my favorite mercenary btw is Drake..that build...the way he could dodge those bullets..terrific..good luck with this novel..i'm sure it will be a huge success..
 
Wow! Thanks, Izzy🙂 Glad you enjoyed my little intro. Usually Isabelle is much more kind and gentle, but with Duke around... well, you see the results.
 
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