Are Men More Likely to be 'Lers? Are Women More Likely 'Lees?

[brotherted]

Here I go, courting political incorrectness again....

But I was just looking at a previous message asking a question to the 'Lers in the group, and the answers were predominantly from women. So I can't help from wondering... how statistically this all lines up?

Do most people here think that men are more "naturally" the 'Lers, and women are more naturally the 'Lees?

If so, and if you don't fit into that generality (that is, if you're a male 'Lee or a female 'Ler), do you feel the need to do the opposite activity more than if you were the other gender -- just to seem more "normal"? Put another way: does a male 'Lee worry a bit about appearing effeminate, and does a female 'Ler ever worry about seeming butch -- so they do the opposite behavior a bit?

 

[TheChameleon]

Well, i'll answer your question as a very manly 'lee.

Yes and No.

I think of it like this... sometimes, (generally, in my opinion) Men are sex fiends, yes? Well, the only way to be a fiend in this situation, is to cause said fixation. You can't CAUSE being tickled. *author's note: you actually can, but its much harder.*

Now, my experience in regular sex is quite slim, in fact, nil, as I don't have sex.

But i'm pretty sure that Men generally "dominate" the sexual relationship "most of the time."

Under this pretense, I assume they would also generally "dominate" the sexual stimuli of tickling. Of course, I'm a lee, so, that means I would need a woman who'd be willing to "dominate" me.

Of course I tickle other people. Then again, I don't do it so I don't seem effeminate, I reek of manliness all the time, (Even after a shower but just before my application of brut deodorant and cologne.)

Which, takes me completely off point, off topic, and out of this thread, but, I notice women tend to find me more... "emotional" or "understanding" or... whats the word i'm looking for... "sensitive" because I'm ticklish.

I think thats crazy, personally. Just because i'd be sensitive to the touch, doesn't mean i'm sensitive emotionally. Heck, I eat fire and crap thunder, remember?!

*macho flex*

(I'm soooo drunk right now, I apologize in advance.)

 

[OriamRepus1]

Men are typically dominate and women are typically submissive. That's not being sexist, that's just the way nature tends to have it.
So I suppose it just applies here as well. That's not saying it can't be switched around, the roles of dominate and submissive just seem to be predominately male and female respectively.

 

[Betchass1]

Men are typically dominate and women are typically submissive. That's not being sexist, that's just the way nature tends to have it.
So I suppose it just applies here as well. That's not saying it can't be switched around, the roles of dominate and submissive just seem to be predominately male and female respectively.

I think it's not that simple; but I also definitely think it's not as simple as "society encourages that attitude" because where did society get the idea if not from experience?
Maybe a more illuminating way to say it is that women are typically attracted to strength and decisiveness, and men are typically attracted to..... tits?
I also think it's true in nature that males tend to be less cooperative, more challenging, and on the other hand more independent.

 

[Betchass1]

Here I go, courting political incorrectness again....

But I was just looking at a previous message asking a question to the 'Lers in the group, and the answers were predominantly from women. So I can't help from wondering... how statistically this all lines up?

First, do most people here think that men are more "naturally" the 'Lers, and women are more naturally the 'Lees?

I think in the tickling subculture men are more often 'lers and women are more often fantasies.

 

[OriamRepus1]

I think it's not that simple; but I also definitely think it's not as simple as "society encourages that attitude" because where did society get the idea if not from experience?
Maybe a more illuminating way to say it is that women are typically attracted to strength and decisiveness, and men are typically attracted to..... tits?
I also think it's true in nature that males tend to be less cooperative, more challenging, and on the other hand more independent.

Well you pretty much said what I did except with more words.

 

[Violetta]

I think in the tickling subculture men are more often 'lers and women are more often fantasies.

LMAO! A winner is you.

In my experience I think the division of roles in tickling is helped by girls just being ticklish more often than guys are. Nearly every single time I've tried to get something started by poking or tickling a guy, I get pretty much no reaction. If I try to start something with a girl, then I'll usually get a reaction out of them. Not to say guys can't be ticklish, but it's a very rare occurance. And if you aren't ticklish, you can't be a lee.

Desire, however, I find to be different usually. I don't know if it's just a matter of the people I talk to, but it seems that most of the guys I know either prefer to be the lee, want to be the lee, or are at least lee-curious. And with the erroneous mindset that submissive means weak, a lot of them aren't willing to actually put themselves in that position for fear of looking weak.

 

[brad1701]

Desire, however, I find to be different usually. I don't know if it's just a matter of the people I talk to, but it seems that most of the guys I know either prefer to be the lee, want to be the lee, or are at least lee-curious. And with the erroneous mindset that submissive means weak, a lot of them aren't willing to actually put themselves in that position for fear of looking weak.

I've heard stories of how sub men register on message boards as women because of that stigma. I've also heard stories of submissive women at fetish clubs swarmed by sub men because all the dommes are occupied. At any rate, in my days of lurking, I observed many male 'lees whose manhood no sane mind would question... so... I guess it comes down to those who live out in the open vs. the lurkers who sit in the shadows, gathering their courage.
Like most things.

 

[Violetta]

I've also heard stories of submissive women at fetish clubs swarmed by sub men because all the dommes are occupied.

So've I. Which has really turned me off of the idea of fetish clubs. I get enough of that crap around here.

 

[brad1701]

A penny for a peek at your PM box. 😛

But seriously... is it not astonishing how little faith there is that people know their own selves?

 

[Excess]

LMAO! A winner is you.

In my experience I think the division of roles in tickling is helped by girls just being ticklish more often than guys are. Nearly every single time I've tried to get something started by poking or tickling a guy, I get pretty much no reaction. If I try to start something with a girl, then I'll usually get a reaction out of them. Not to say guys can't be ticklish, but it's a very rare occurance. And if you aren't ticklish, you can't be a lee.

Desire, however, I find to be different usually. I don't know if it's just a matter of the people I talk to, but it seems that most of the guys I know either prefer to be the lee, want to be the lee, or are at least lee-curious. And with the erroneous mindset that submissive means weak, a lot of them aren't willing to actually put themselves in that position for fear of looking weak.

Sammi wins this topic, mainly cuz she said what I would have said 😛

As for the guys being lee-curious thing though, when exactly have you talked to these guys about that Sammi? I ask because I've noticed ALOT more malees appearing in the last year or so, which would make it seem that /m tickling is becoming more acceptable as compared to what it was about 2 years ago.

 

[Violetta]

I'm psychic like that. 😉

It's been fairly recently. I'd say a lot of it's started in the last 4 months or so. Of course, that's also because the number of people from here that I talked to increased a lot in that time. Before that, though, it was easy to find lers, even outside of the fetish community. But the number of male lees or lee-curious guys has seemed to be increasing in the last several months.

 

[MistressValerie1]

In the vanilla, offline world, I have encountered mostly male lees and female lers. When I became active at online forums in 2001, I was surprised at the scarcity of either. My guess is that female lers and male lees are more likely to lurk or to avoid online tickling communities altogether so that the number of active members is skewed.

 

[Weedly]

Are their more male lers than lees?

I suppose it depends on which side of the tracks you frequent
As far as i can see, from the online communities ive been around, male lers outnumber female lers and lees exponentially. I am sure this is not the status quo everywhere (i hope not) but this deepens my respect for the outgoing ladies (lees) who are not afraid to come out to forums such as these and give us (male lers) hope

 

[Reaper_666]

lol well to honest this thread will have me tryin 2 figure it out 4 quite some time lol my head hurts lol 😛

 

[Betchass1]

Well you pretty much said what I did except with more words.

And more accurately. Not many women are indiscriminantly submissive. Women don't walk around begging anyone to dominate them.
When two rams slam their heads together for a while, and one of them walks away, the ewes typically all remain with the winner. If all they cared about was being submissive, half of them ought to run off with the loser and submit to him. Women ought to be submitting to internet perverts left and right. There are far more of them available than hot, rich guys. The more accurate oversimplifying generalization is that women are attracted to confidence.
Females with young are the most violent, UNsubmissive mammals to be found.

 

[Wade1]

In the vanilla, offline world, I have encountered mostly male lees and female lers.

Me too! I don't know about the male lee part, numerically... God knows I'm hopelessly a ticklee, through the cruelly random oversensitivity of my nerve endings--but, thanks to the aforementioned nerve endings, I've discovered that your normal everyday vanilla casual acquaintance of a female-type person is more often than not a ruthless tickler!