At A Loss afraid of what I'm going to do

[luvgirlsfeet]

In feb of this year on my 41st birthday I had the honor of spending it in a operating room to correct a infection from a recent knee replacement surgery. 7 months later the pain swelling and warmth has returned to my knee I saw my doctor yesterday and spoke on the phone today and he had said that it's inflamed but there is something else wrong and were still waiting on the blood cultures to come back for a definite answer if there is a infection or not. If there is this will be surgery #5 they would have to remove all the hardwear and put me in a cast for about 6 weeks and install a pic line ( feeds medicine to kill infection in your body ) then after 6 weeks of that #6 surgery would consist of another brand new knee replacement. then about 7 or more months of physical therapy

Now instead of continuing to ramble on and on I want to say that the TMF is the BEST tickling site in the universe but if it turns out that I do have a infection then it'll be lights out I will close my eyes one more time and in a whispered tone say goodbye and I don't fear hell beacuse I've lived on Earth this isnt supposed to happend if God is good why do bad things continue to happen and if everything happens for a reason then please explain said reason..From the desk of a deeply distrubed 41 year old tickle fan who's reached the end of his pitifull rope

 

[Gothika]

dude i know u are going thorough hell i been g thorough a lot my self ending your life is no way to go stay strong and keep going no matter what things will get better in time

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

1.800.suicide - national hotline
211 - local resources

I don't understand why you would want to kill yourself to avoid knee replacement surgery, whether it's #1 or #100. But it's not for me to understand. I tend to be of the opinion that people who really are 100% set on killing themselves are going to do it eventually, and people who reach out, like this, usually don't really *want* to die. They just aren't quite sure what else to do, and they know they don't want to go through this, whatever "this" is, anymore.

I suggest you reach out to professionals who are going to be know how to help you. Your local Mental Health/Mental Retardation office may be of some assistance. Worst case scenario, you can always show up at a local ER and tell them you're suicidal.

If you really want to kill yourself, or you really need serious help, you're likely not going to get it here. It's not a bad place to start, but you'll need to talk with a professional if you want professional grade support. If you're just frustrated and angry at your circumstances and you need to vent and get some sympathy, this might be a good place. (It might be the worst place. How people are going to respond remains to be seen.) Either way, I hope you get what you need. Good luck with your knee. And your life.

Feel free to PM me if you need anything or have any additional questions.