Attitudes when tickling/being tickled...

[TicklingDuo]

There have been many threads that have touched on this a bit. But, I haven't seen one that really concentrates on it. So....

If you are a LER...What is the attitude of your tickling? Do you want to break the person, get sexual enjoyment for yourself, give sexual enjoyment to the LEE, just play around and have fun, a combination of these, or something totally different?

If you are a LEE...What is your attitude towards being tickled? Do you enjoy it, hate it, love/hate it, find sexual enjoyment in it, find pleasure in the sexual enjoyment of the LER, enjoy the playfulness of it, enjoy taunting your LER by withholding your responses, a combination or something totally different?

The reason that I'm asking this is a conversation I had recently with a friend in the community. An observation that we've made is that many LERs only want to tickle someone if they're kicking and screaming and begging for it to stop. They seem to enjoy the aspect of it as being torture and have little interest in a LEE who makes them work at getting a reaction. This raised a few questions as I thought about the matter...the reason for the post.

For me, as a lee, I enjoy the playfulness of tickling. While it can sometimes drive me to the brink of insanity (No comments from the peanut gallery! 😛 ), I thoroughly enjoy being tickled. I also enjoy driving my ler(s) crazy by refusing to respond or by asking when they're going to start tickling. I don't do a whole lot of laughing. Instead, I tend to make lots of weird noises. When it's with Drew, I also enjoy the exchange of sexual pleasure that can go with the tickling. As a ler also, I enjoy the playfulness and gentle taunting of the person.

Often in this community, we hear talk of "breaking" someone. We spend a good deal of time teasing back and forth about it. But, why is this really important? If you're one of those for whom it's important to do so/have it done to you, I'd be interested in hearing your reasons. It seems to me that the use of a safeword has lost its emphasis as something to ensure the safety of the lee and become a target to be reached (or even passed) to prove that the ler has won. I'm not sure why that is or that it's a bad thing. Just something to think about.

Ann

 

[qjakal]

A 'Ler...

I enjoy the whole process really....from the moment it becomes apparent that something is about to "happen", it becomes a unique experience. As for attitude...whew..some combination of all those things, and add in the fulfillment of a "need" that is very very different than the sexual component that can accompany the act. Like being able to scratch an itch that is wedged far beneath the surface of the rational part of ones cortex....hard to explain, although since you're part 'ler you might have an inkling of what I'm talking about, which is as close as I can get to describing it!

It aslo changes depending on the 'lee obviously...but, overall, it's just fun/torture and excitement all rolled up in a delicious package!

Q

 

[Maria_Rose]

As a 'lee I get intense erotic pleasure from being tickled, and also from the challenge of trying to keep still, quiet, etc. I like it when the 'ler "commands" me to be still, and allows me to only react vocally, or vice versa. Of course, with my cruel 'ler, she threatens to STOP tickling me if I move an inch or make a sound. She knows if she threatened me with more tickling I would make no effort to behave at all .
When I get the rare chance to be a 'ler, I get some joy out of the fact that I'm teasing my 'lee in a way that she is very sensitive to. But that joy only comes from knowing that such teasing arouses her. My partner was abused with tickling when she was younger, and although she enjoys when I do it, it requires a huge amount of trust to allow it. She can never take much at a time, or very often, but when she does her trust and strength make me so proud of her. Any tickling I do is aimed at her needs and pleasure, and the best thing in the world is to hear her say (through giggles) "what's the matter, is that the best you can do?" lol. Taunting is so good.

 

[Shem the Penman]

I've always felt the whole "breaking" thing has gotten overemphasized. I've never broken my wife/regular ticklee -- and yet, at the same time, I doubt she'd ever say I go easy on her. (The same thing goes when it's my turn to be the lee, as well.) Nor have I ever gone into any tickling with the intent of breaking the ticklee. Making her laugh, finding her good spots, exploiting them, driving her crazy, yes -- pushing her to the point where she's genuinely desperate for it to stop, hell no.

All this talk about breaking seems to me to take the focus off the fun and turn tickling into more of an endurance contest. If insane reactions are what you want, there are a lot better ways to get them than simply driving for the fences, so to speak ... I've found that a bit of properly done teasing gets Nightfall wilder than tickling her nonstop for six hours ever would.

 

[siamese dream]

a "both"

I love both, I can't choose one over the other...

As a lee, I think the tickling sensation is THE most erotic sensation possible for me. It turns me on more than anything does. And I thrash around, I beg, and squeal, all the typical 'lee responses...but I am loving every minute of it. It has never been about being 'broken' for me; it's more about being teased and pleasured intensely. And it's about playfulness and affection too, 'tickle torture' is an exciting term but I don't think of it as 'torture' in the true sense of the word. A more accurate term would be 'tickle teasing', though 'torture' tends to command attention more easily.

As a ler, I get sexual enjoyment out of being the 'ler and as a tickler I have always been the type who will giggle and laugh as if I'm the one being tickled... it's enjoyable for me to see the reactions of enjoyment from the other person. If a ticklee reacted to tickling from me with real fear or anger or other bad responses, I would stop immediately and be like "are you okay???" and be very concerned and not at all turned on by this. It's about mutual pleasure for me, the minute the ticklee stops enjoying it is the minute that I stop enjoying it. It's not about "winning" or "losing", a really good tickling experience, to me, is one where both people feel good about what just happened, where both people have "won"...and for me, ideally, where both people have took their turn as the 'ler and the 'lee.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

gotta agree with siamese again on this one

and you too ann. too often on this board i read the talk about torture, and breaking, etc. i read about bondage and tying up the "victim". to me these are tickle turn offs. i want to share tickling with my tickle partner. i don't want to "do it" to someone, or have them"do it" to me. we should be doing it for the other person. but all too often around here i read a post and get the feeling all anyone wants is a target, not a person.
for me as both the ler, and lee, tickling is sexy, erotic, fun, a challenge, and a time for sharing, all rolled into one great package.
i welcome the flame response, cause i do't care, i'm sick of the "i got mine" attitued around here!
steve

 

[TicklingDuo]

before this DOES go to flames....

The purpose of this thread was to get a feel for where people actually stand, not to argue about what's right or wrong. Each ones preference is fine and welcome. Maybe it sounded like I had a beef with those who DO want to break the person. I really don't. I'm just trying to undetstand the various preferences. I was more curious about the patterns behind the preference (if we get enough responses to show a pattern). For instance...

I suspect that we'll see that those who are truly into "breaking" the LEE are also those who have more of a DOM mindset and play predominantly with those of a SUB mindset. That's cool. There's nothing wrong with that as long as they both agree on the rules.

I suspect that there will be some here who truly enjoy the torture aspect and really push the limits...both as DOM and SUB I'd say they'd fall into the S&M crowd...even if only with tickling.

I also suspect that most of us who talk about "breaking" someone are just trash talking and having fun. It's the "I'm gonna get you." playing around that we tend to enjoy with tickling anyway. As a LEE, I tend to give the teasing right back to them with my own smart ass remarks. I know that those I've played with who have teased about "breaking" me (or others) have been very respectful of limits and just had a good time.

Ann

 

[tklr5150]

As a lee and a ler, I love the playfulness and intimacy of tickling with a girl. It's not about "torture" in the strictest sense for me, although I might enjoy indulging that sort of fantasy on occasion. As a ler, I much prefer being with someone who enjoys being tickled, and I'd rather have a lee laughing and squirming and begging for more than kicking and screaming and begging me to stop. As a lee, I love a girl who can give as good as she gets, teasing and targeting my worst spots while I try to fight the reactions; again, it's not about torture, just incredible stimulation.

 

[Novus]

Many of us only fantasize about breaking our 'lees. Breaking a 'lee is the most extream form of tickling but keeping that in the back of your mind makes casual tickling more exciting. No one really wants to break a 'lee or be broken themselves. Having the ablity to destroy someone with tickling adds to the trust factor of casual tickling. All the 'lee has is trust and faith that their 'ler will not hurt them. The entire 'lee 'ler relationship is based on this. Without realizing or respecting the power tickling has over someone takes the psycological aspect out of it and makes it dangerous to the uninitiated.

 

[Double T]

Hello-hello-ello-llo-lo-lo

(For those of you with limited imaginations, that's an echo)
It has been quite a while, let me see if I can recall...
*Downs an Ensure, and continues*
Ler: I'm just playing. I think tickling a helpless woman is a great deal of fun. Breaking? If that's what she wants me to go for, I have no problem with that! I suppose the ideal (For me) would be a gentle tickling specifically for her enjoyment, then, slightly more frantic tickling, for mine! Now call me a sadist, but I love begging. I think it's part of the game, and a release. Safeword? Always and unquestionably YES! Begging is good unless it's caused by exeeding someone's limits. An inexperienced ler, or experienced one tickling someone they haven't before, might not be able to tell the difference. So I think it's a good idea all around! I also don't mind a lee who makes me work for a reaction. That only makes it more fun when they finally DO laugh!

Lee: Ah! A subject near and dear to my heart. And abs. And ribs. And feet, but I digress! 🙄 Pretty much as above. Starting out lightly, and increasing in intensity. I love to laugh, and hold nothing back. Will I beg and plea for mercy? Bet the farm on it! I will probably try to hold out at first, but it shouldn't last long. I am also prepared to be an all-star S.A.M. I want my ler, or lers to make me say the safeword. I don't believe I've ever been taken to my limits, and I want to see what it's like.

Excitement: There is a level of excitement, but the kind I felt when I was about to ride a roller coaster, or enter a haunted house exibit. A little scared, but knowing it's all in fun. I'm convinced that tickling could not give me a sexual thrill, unless it was with someone I cared about deeply, and was in some lind of relationship with. Old fashioned? Perhaps, but I've no problem with it. My word! What a long 2 cent echo THAT was! But my replys have been a little thin of late, anyway! Bye, bye!

 

[hiram]

Attitudes

Interesting question(s). I have been tickled only a handful of times mostly in the last couple of years. Two of those were no limits revenge ticklings for many years of wife-tickling on my part. I'm told I was nearly incoherent. I recall an element of desperation and NEEDING it to stop. I'd go through it tonight with great anticipation if my tickler would take it upon herself to take me to task. As a ticklee, I want to be taken BEYOND my limit whatever that is. It is to be 100% in the hands of the tickler, and I like her merciless. Better yet, I want her delight to increase with my desperation. Is that weird, or what?

As a tickler, I want lots of teasing wherever it takes us. Ticklishness, like any other sensation, varies from one day to the next. I can always get a reaction in the armpits, up inside her thighs or taking some tool to her toes. However, there are days when her ribs are less ticklish. On those days if I'm in the mood, she giggles at my failure to force her to any limit. It's a way for her to tease, and it's fun. It's also fun to eventually go for the armpits, maybe in final frustration.

Tickling has to be fun for all parties. I will confess to getting maximum enjoyment on the days when her ticklishness is at its peak. I like begging and tickle screaming and silent laughing. I also know her limits and never, never go beyond them. She hasn't become really angry at my tickling since early in our marriage. I guess I like all tickling that's fun and to be fun it has to be fun for both parties. Whatever you can add to increase the fun is good.