Avice? Own experiences?

[chode]

Advice? Own experiences?

Ok, here is the deal. I have never told any of the girls that i have dated and had longer relationships with about my tickling and being tickled fetish. I recently have started to date a girl and it appears that it will be going past a 3rd date if you catch m drift. She is very cool, you get the idea. For those who care, she is 5'11, 120, long brown hair and athletic, what a find for me! So getting to the point. I am sick of feeling like I will be looked upon as a freak if I tell anyone about my fondness for tickling. How have any of you told your girl/boyfriend or significant other about your fetish? How did they react? I know its not something to bring up on the first date, but more after some physical barriers have been broken. Guess I just want to see how all of you have handled the situation. I know it is ultimatley up to me and just strapping on a pair of nuts and telling her. Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks.

 

[evltkl]

3rd date?you're rushing things a bit.you need to have a more established relationship on the "vanilla side" of things before you can go dumping things like that on people.let her get to know you and trust you before approaching a topic of that nature.hearing it from someone you know as opposed to someone you just met are two very different things.......Peace

 

[chode]

Oh yeah, I am deffinately not saying i would tell her on or after just a third date. I know i should at least be past the "farting stage." You know, when your comfortable enough and you have known her a while and accidently let one slip and she has been with you too long to get mad!

 

[dvnc]

Just a perspective from an old guy, here. My $0.02, if you will.

Have I told previous and current lovers? Yep. Did they take it well? Most did. One had absolutely no desire to event entertain such a notion. Many found that, after we'd experimented, they didn't enjoy it (some don't, after all).

Because I was honest about it, though, none fault me for it. At least, if they do, there's a grand conspiracy to hide their disapproval.

As for when, well, that's not formulaic. It ain't a "wait 'til the fourth date" sort of deal. Are you interested? Is she clearly stickin' around? It's a good notion to play at tickling, then. Tickle your partner, playfully, and when they inevitably resist (human nature, after all), mention that you always dig tickling. I tend to mention that it's conditional, as I don't want to be punishing someone. I want to play. That's not true for all, but is for me. Give what's honest for you. See what the response is. If it's a hard and hostile negative, well, you have your situation defined. Anything less, and it's one of those radical notions called a conversation. Talk it out.

Oh, and before springing the bondage thing on someone, breach the tickling topic first. I've found a bunch of partners that were cool about tickling, that actually SAID, when bondage was later introduced, that they'd never have done so if they didn't already trust me, and knew what I wanted to do. Knowin' someone ain't gonna pummel you in bondage is good. Mention the tickling interest first. If that doesn't FREAK your partner out, you might be lucky enough to find one of the ones that can hold still, while laughing uproariously. There's a certain midwestern 'Lee many of us know from NEST, who can do such. It's delightful. Her imminent husband HAS to be stoked!

Just go SLOWLY. It ain't a confessional, it's sharing. We're SUPPOSED to do that with lovers.

There's also the possibility of exchange. I knew a lady who once said she'd let any man do what he wanted, if he's wear a dress for her. Not my scene, but at least it's clear what's what, there. I've no doubt she's found lovers since. Point is, though, that you may find THEY have an interest too. Could be as simple as learning some sexual trick that works best for them. Then again, could be a dress. Could be goin' to mom's for dinner every week. Exchanges are part of a relationship, too. Ask any parenting couple about such bartering.

Share
Negotiate

Get those two down, and you're better off than the majority of couples in this country. Shrinks would have MUCH less business if folks learned such.

Oh, some relationships never get comfortable with breakin' wind. True. Met one. 😉 She DID, however, dig bein' tickled. Who knew?

dvnc

 

[Everlast]

Well, I dunno about farting, but.......

Well, I've never heard of the entire "farting stage" thingy......but, I can give you advice on coming out of the tickling closet. It's actually easier than you think.

When I first time I did it.....was to a group of my female friends in high school, people that I still hang out with today. And to tell you the truth, they really thought that it was cute, and not freakish at all. Having them know about it....well, it made my high school expirience more enjoyable than I ever could have imagined. All I had to do was tell them that it was an important part of me.....and I basically enjoy it a lot.

My next expirience was actually a few days ago, and it's still fresh in my mind. I was on the phone with a girl that I'm seriosuly considering for a future gf. And, though I still have no clue why she asked me this, she said "do you think I have cute feet?"

I ran with it like a cheeta on steriods.

I hinted to my fetish at various points in the conversation, and I just let it flow from there. At the end of the conversation, she asked if I had a "thing" for tickling/feet, I said yeah, she said "awwwww" and that was the jist of it.

Dude, the best advice that you can get is to be yourself about this. If this girl that you're dating really is into you, she'll understand that you have this fetish. Just let it flow, my brotha. Let it flow........

 

[chode]

Wow, so far all of you have been extremely helpful. Guess i am just very nervous because i have never told anyone that wasnt a ticklephile like all of us that I dug tickling. So I will take everyones advice and take it slow. We are going out this saturday and will be spending the whole day together playing basketball and such then dinner. I know i can sneak some "playful" tickles in during the afternoon. You are all wise tickle yodas. Thanks again. Everyone else keep the advice comming! Oh yeah, the farting thing.....I dont beleive some of ya havent heard about it! Oh well. Thanks again!

 

[Havoc]

My own experience

I have found that a very good time to test the waters is during making out and 'petting' (sorry to use an old term, but it has the best connotation.) It is easy to turn a fondle into a tickle (and back again if necessary - 🙁 - she will let you know quickly if tickling is an unpleaseant and non-erotic feeling for her), and the mood at that time is right for statements like "ooh, I can't belive how ticklish you are. That kind of turns me on... I hope that doesn't bother you..." (of course it doesn't bother her!), or I have found this one sometimes works: "I hope you don't think this is weird, but I find it really attractive that you are so ticklish - it is just very feminine, that your body is so soft and sensitive."
(and that's not a line, that's really part of what turns me on so much!) But if you use it and don't feel it, it would be a line, which I don't recommend - above all, always speak from the heart. If she really like you, anything from the heart will be OK, as long as it doesn't involve peeing or farm animals!)


from there you will be able to feel out her comfort level with tickling. Whatever you do, ease into it. In my experience, it is initialy best received when the sexual tension is running high, and you are building to... Well, you know...

If it turns out you have a girl who has never considered tickling to be erotic, but is not opposed to it, your best bet is to start adding a little tickling, first to your foreplay, and then at 'later' points. Again the key is to take it slow, or you may scare her off or spoil if for her.

I am about to post my own experience with this, and even better, I will try to get get my fiance to post her viewpoint on it. She never cared for being tickled, but is sooooo ticklish, and has been all her life. Tickling is now an integral part of our affections. She has said it is only because of how we eased into it, and because there was complete trust built up before we started tickling.


Peace...