njjen3953
4th Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2001
- Messages
- 2,858
- Points
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A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a
somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams,
he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine
subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.
On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told
her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful
aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of
miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any
ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and
he "put-putted" all the way home.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She
exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for
dinner tonight!"
She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the
table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was
beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to
remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight
to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten
egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.
He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This
one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried
flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and
the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute
later, the flowers on the table were dead.
When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his
napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the
picture of innocence when she walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the
dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and
yelled, "Surprise!!!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated
around the table for his surprise birthday party.
somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams,
he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine
subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.
On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told
her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful
aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of
miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any
ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and
he "put-putted" all the way home.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She
exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for
dinner tonight!"
She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the
table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was
beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to
remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight
to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten
egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.
He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This
one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried
flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and
the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute
later, the flowers on the table were dead.
When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his
napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the
picture of innocence when she walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the
dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and
yelled, "Surprise!!!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated
around the table for his surprise birthday party.
