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BDSM Warning

JoBelle

3rd Level Orange Feather
Joined
Aug 31, 2001
Messages
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BDSM Warning! please read

John Doe strode into the bedroom , wearing His leather Postal Worker's uniform. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the bed, as He reached into His latex mail bag. Jane Doe, a 29 year old schoolgirl, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. She gasped as He brought a knife with a 9 ~ inch blade out of the bag.

"I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try," He said sternly,

"Are you willing?"

Jane nodded eagerly and mumbled, "yeff Mather".

John smiled as He bent close and cut her free of her bonds.

"Strip", He ordered as He began to remove His own clothes..

Jane quickly complied, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her.

"Lay back on the bed", He commanded.

Jane did so. John then laid on top of her.

"Tonight my dear", He whispered while reaching for the light switch.. "We are going ........... Vanilla!"

"NOOOOOOoooooooooo", cried Jane as the room plunged into darkness.

The above tale is true. John eventually left Jane to move in with a vanilla woman. They now have a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle, regularly enjoying home improvements, Tupperware parties and only having sex 3 times a year.

Jane was more fortunate and now attends Vanillas Anonymous, with help and guidance she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say,

"I have the right to more than one sexual position!"

Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. If anyone offers you vanilla sex, just say No.

This has been a BDSM safety awareness announcement.
 
OMG, Joby. That is hysterical. Thanks for posting it. I have friends that will ove it.
 
I don't even like vanilla ice cream! Thanks for the warning, Joby. I hope nothing like that ever happens to me! 😀
 
Funny stuff Joby. Thanks.

By the way nice to have you back around Mistress Mia, I for one have missed you.
 
:jester: Oh my, next thing you know there will be another group of renegades calling themselves, T.A.V.S. Ticklephiles Against Vanilla Sex!😉 😀

TTD
 
TickledToDeath said:
:jester: Oh my, next thing you know there will be another group of renegades calling themselves, T.A.V.S. Ticklephiles Against Vanilla Sex!😉 😀

TTD

Sounds like a great name for a yahoo group. LOL
 
I implore you....

As my fellow TMF'ers, many of you my friends, I beg you, if I ever go vanilla, please put a bullet in my head. Don't worry. I'd already be dead anyway, so I won't feel a thing.
 
Re: I implore you....

slacker2114 said:
As my fellow TMF'ers, many of you my friends, I beg you, if I ever go vanilla, please put a bullet in my head. Don't worry. I'd already be dead anyway, so I won't feel a thing.


That's something I really like in a man. Dedication to a cause. 😀 MMMMMMmmmmMMMM

Jo
 
Vanilla Sex, by NoFX

Don't ever take away from me my pornography
we obviously don't agree on what's obscene
I have the right to choose what I
Want to see and read
Don't try to take away from me
My right to privacy what I
Do is no one's business but me
So stay in your missionary position
I hope that you get bored to death
There's no way I'm going thru life
Having vanilla sex
The government's trying to get in
Your bedroom you better lock your
Door and close your shades because
There could be someone watching you today
Why do you try to make things illegal
Why do we have to be 21
Are you afraid that people are having
Too much fun
Why do you care what I do in my bedroom
Why do you want to know how I screw
It seems to me you've got nothing better to do.
 
That's one that'll cycle through a few mailservers by nightfall. Thanks for the laugh, Jo!

dvnc
 
gotimmyg said:
How about vanilla to cleanse the palate after a spicy main course?

Timmy, Timmy, Timmy -
There you go again. ALWAYS makin' me think! LOL I'm guessin' my choice to cleanse the palate with some smooth vanilla would depend entirely on who my server was for the evening! 😛

Jo
 
Never heard of Vanilla Sex

😕 Again, I feel so stupid that I don't know what this means🙄 I have never heard of this before, anyone care to share with me .....big sigh🙁
I must live a pretty boring life!
 
Vanilla...or Chocolate

Vanilla= "normal, ordinary, routine, ho-hum everybody does it like this, commonplace...etc etc."

No need to apologize, it's a big world and who the heck has time to keep track of everything? That's why I (and Al Gore) invented computers and the internet...lol. Q
 
Re: Vanilla...or Chocolate

qjakal said:
Vanilla= "normal, ordinary, routine, ho-hum everybody does it like this, commonplace...etc etc."

No need to apologize, it's a big world and who the heck has time to keep track of everything? That's why I (and Al Gore) invented computers and the internet...lol. Q

Q, thanks for explaining that! Never heard of this until now. I was like Rose was saying to myself....."Vanilla Sex?"
Love your pardoy too BTW!🙂
 
Useless...

I'm quite good with useless facts and made up ones as well!

Good to see you back and posting, btw!

lach035.gif
 
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