Been awhile.

[jxavier]

Hi friends. Its been awhile since I've been online. How have you all been?
Have you succeeded or failed? Have you tried at all?
Have you realized that life is short or long?
Do you believe in demons or love? Do you believe in dreams or being awake?
Have you finished that thing you were suppose to finish?
Have you learned how to dance?
What about that beautiful mountain face outside your window? Have you climbed it yet?
What about that quickening heart beat? What about the person who causes it?
Where are your car keys?
Who are you trying to get closer to?
Are your eyes dry or moist? Is your tear trap full or empty?
Which shade of gray are you today?
Have you met your quotas?
Do you know that all is art?

 

[Mash]

Hi friends. Its been awhile since I've been online. How have you all been?
Have you succeeded or failed? Have you tried at all?
Have you realized that life is short or long?
Do you believe in demons or love? Do you believe in dreams or being awake?
Have you finished that thing you were suppose to finish?
Have you learned how to dance?
What about that beautiful mountain face outside your window? Have you climbed it yet?
What about that quickening heart beat? What about the person who causes it?
Where are your car keys?
Who are you trying to get closer to?
Are your eyes dry or moist? Is your tear trap full or empty?
Which shade of gray are you today?
Have you met your quotas?
Do you know that all is art?

I'm going to assume that none of these are rhetorical. 😀

Alive. Neither. No. Crap. Neither. Neither. No. No. What mountain? No. Non-existent. Nobody there. No car. Nobody. Neither. Neither. The best shade. No. Nope.

 

[jxavier]

Don't worry, I'm going through an existential crisis too.

 

[Mash]

Oh, don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to be depressing; just honest.

I've come to terms with the fact that in the grand scheme of things, my existence doesn't matter, so there's no point in getting sad about it. You're born, you work for awhile, you stop working, and then you die.

Once you get a good grasp on just how long the earth has been around, you begin to realize just how insignificant a span of time the human race has occupied on this giant glorified ball of dirt.

 

[jxavier]

Yes, life is ultimately fatal and inconsequential and all that other nihilistic drab. That is what I have been living in for a very long time. I even cast out my emotions accusing myself of being "idealistic" every time I felt... anything. Humans have been around for about a fraction of a blink of an eye. I have been around for blink that is virtually non-existent, yet here I sit. Life is inconsequential, but that doesn't mean you don't have to become part of it.
After all, why not?
I am in control of my mind, my thoughts, my actions. One hundred percent control. Why not create an identity? Why not experiment with emotion, or--dare I say it--connection? It sucks feeling a lack of identity. I make time pass the only way I know how anymore... experiment. Life is my science experiment. My perceptions are my observations, my emotions are my variables and my identity is the result.
Fuck it.

 

[Mash]

Yes, life is ultimately fatal and inconsequential and all that other nihilistic drab. That is what I have been living in for a very long time. I even cast out my emotions accusing myself of being "idealistic" every time I felt... anything. Humans have been around for about a fraction of a blink of an eye. I have been around for blink that is virtually non-existent, yet here I sit. Life is inconsequential, but that doesn't mean you don't have to become part of it.
After all, why not?
I am in control of my mind, my thoughts, my actions. One hundred percent control. Why not create an identity? Why not experiment with emotion, or--dare I say it--connection? It sucks feeling a lack of identity. I make time pass the only way I know how anymore... experiment. Life is my science experiment. My perceptions are my observations, my emotions are my variables and my identity is the result.
Fuck it.

*shrug* I just chalk it up to me being too lazy to give a fuck.

 

[tklmaestro]

I've come to terms with the fact that in the grand scheme of things, my existence doesn't matter, so there's no point in getting sad about it. You're born, you work for awhile, you stop working, and then you die.

Once you get a good grasp on just how long the earth has been around, you begin to realize just how insignificant a span of time the human race has occupied on this giant glorified ball of dirt.

*shrug* I just chalk it up to me being too lazy to give a fuck.

Really?...if my kids said that to me , I'd tell them to snap out of it.Before you end up doing something you might regret, find a friend, surround yourself with positive people, talk to somebody.... even professional help if necessary. Lifes too short.

 

[Mash]

Really?...if my kids said that to me , I'd tell them to snap out of it.Before you end up doing something you might regret, find a friend, surround yourself with positive people, talk to somebody.... even professional help if necessary. Lifes too short.

Snap out of what? Reality? I'm not suffering from depression as so many people seem to think. Call me a pessimist, call me depressed, but in reality, I'm only seeing the world as it is; not through the tinted glasses that you all are looking at it through.

Just because I'm not hopping around with enthusiasm preaching about the wonders of our beautiful world, does NOT necessarily mean that I want to kill myself.

 

[tklmaestro]

Snap out of what? Reality? I'm not suffering from depression as so many people seem to think. Call me a pessimist, call me depressed, but in reality, I'm only seeing the world as it is; not through the tinted glasses that you all are looking at it through.

Just because I'm not hopping around with enthusiasm preaching about the wonders of our beautiful world, does NOT necessarily mean that I want to kill myself.

I'll say no more. You're young and have some growing up to do. The world isn't as bad as you may believe....sorry.

 

[Mash]

I'll say no more. You're young and have some growing up to do. The world isn't as bad as you may believe....sorry.

You're right; I'm sure it's much worse.

For what it's worth, kids typically do not start out believing that the world is horrible. They start out as naive, ambitious, morons; I started out at the other end of the spectrum.

 

[jxavier]

Don't ever believe that perceptions of reality have to follow a certain trend. But at the same time, don't ever believe that certain perceptions are infallible. And by certain, I mean any.

 

[Mash]

Don't ever believe that perceptions of reality have to follow a certain trend. But at the same time, don't ever believe that certain perceptions are infallible. And by certain, I mean any.

I don't believe that they have to, I just believe that they tend to. In the same way that children tend to be less knowledgeable than adults; but it is not always the case.

I don't think my perceptions of reality are infallible, however, they are accurate as far as I've experienced.
And don't say crap like, "Well, you're only 18." Yeah, I'm only 18. Two decades is a long time; almost one third of the average human life. Childhood tends to be the most relaxing and enjoyable time of the human life. It only gets worse from here.

 

[jxavier]

It doesn't get worse. Just different.
Just wait. Mentality changes.