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Best Real Life Quotes

Strelnikov

4th Level Red Feather
Joined
May 7, 2001
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We've got threads for "best lines" in movies and TV. Here's one for real life. I'll start the contest off with the following:

G. Gordon Liddy, lighting his cigar from a candle held by a peace marcher: "There, you useless son of a bitch. At least now you've been good for something."

And with this 600th post, I've become a Master. Next stop, Red Feather! Woo-hoo!

Strelnikov
 
Hi Strel!

Welcome back....here's one i like...

Life is not a matter of holding good cards,
but sometimes playing a poor hand well.

- Jack London
 
Congrats.....

.....on # 600 Strel.....



When all is said and done, the one sole condition that makes spiritual happiness and preserves it is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain
 
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart."
Anne Frank
---
"If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a piledriver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time, a tremendous whack!"
Winston Churchill
---
"A nation in which a congressman can seriously ask, "Do you think the artist is a special person?" is a nation living in cultural jeopardy.
James Thurber

GREAT thread idea Strel!
Jo
 
This one comes from my brother, who has a bit of a reputation in college as something of a superhero. When his lady friends have trouble with stalkers and abusive boyfriends, they call on him to sort the matter out.

Several months ago, he's in the apartment of one of his friends (doing laundry or somesuch, I don't recall and it's not germaine) when a punk who's been pressuring her to go out with him shows up and demands a date. My brother hears this dispute in the next room, and enters behind the punk. "She said she wasn't interested," he tells the bozo.

Bonehead-boy turns and sneers that my brother should stay out of it if he knows what's good for him. He barely finishes the threat when he sees in full what a height & weight advantage my brother has on him.

My brother then gives him this lovely piece of dark poetry:
"I'm going to have to teach you about nature now. See, you're a hyena. You think that you're some kind of bad-ass carnivore, but you're really just a scrawny little scavenger. You never attack anything unless it's smaller than you, or somebody else has taken a chunk out of it first. Even then, you need a dozen of your scrawny hyena friends to back you up and do most of the work.

"Now I, on the other hand, am a lion. Stand down, boy, or I'll show you why the lion is King of the Jungle!"

It goes without saying that the punk rapidly decided he had more urgent matters to attend to, and was not seen again.

I loved that speech so much that I wrote it into the comic book he and I are working on.
 
lol....

That's an interesting story MadK! Being a rather large belligerent (looking) individual, I also used to get called upon for these types of services at times...but I rapidly learned an unknown fact...the smaller a man is, the more trouble I will have with him in general. A medium sized individual will react as you have stated, nearly every time, unless there are extenuating circumstances..(anger, insanity, overdeveloped sense of justice), and retreat from the confrontation. A smallish individual however, seems to know that you, as a "large" person, will gain NOTHING should this come to violence. If you demolish him, he actually gains sympathy...should he be relatively talented and evasive, you will look foolish and ineffective (until you get your paws on him), and repay the damage he has done X 2, thus once again creating sympathy. Tough world...even for the lions sometimes! Q
 
You must also remember that in the age of the gun everyone has an advantage. Go to law enforcement when you come across questionable people, don't take matters into your own hands unless it's completely unavoidable. My friends brother was a very large body builder who liked to help people. He went to aid a girl being violently harrassed by her boyfriend(or so he says) in a mall parking lot, he should have called the police. The boyfriend shot my friends brother in the stomach with a .40 caliber holowpoint. His muscles and stamina helped him survive (Thank God) howevere it was a long and trying recovery. He has a completely different perspective on life now and he'd be the first to tell you go to the professionals. Only play hero if there is no chance of getting police there fast enough. "On the plus side he probably saved that woman's life"(or so he says). The courts didn't think so. The boyfriend says he was only defending himself from a huge menace who intervered with an argument between him and his girlfriend. The girlfriend said she didn't fear for her life from her boyfriend, he was just like that kinda high strung. So the shooter who had a cancelled weapons permit received a lite sentence and is now free. Food for thought. Please be careful!!!


My handgun/weapons safty intstructor had a great quote durring the first day of a handgunning course I took awhile back. He asked "When is the fight over"...... "When the trial's over and your found not guilty by self-defense" "Be careful when you take up causes or try to be a crusader."

Hey Madkalnod, I like your quote are you going to watch "Legend of the Rangers" it looks sweet.
 
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My Favorite

"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees" -???

"I will not be a victim, my cries wont go unheard, I've got to fight for myself, and what I hold so true" -Jamey Jasta

"Every second breaths life into a reason for dying. Our ignorance will only stunt our final will to live. Bound and gagged, I feel forced back into a losing race. I've been stepped on and passed by but I have enough hope to keep fighting. All of my life, all of my pain. Driven by suffering." -Jamey Jasta

"I was so blind. I couldn't see the truth. I was unable to see how my life was being used. To be something so miniscule. Everything I thought was so definite, I thought was so real was thrown away and will be remembered among unpaling hatred. Consider my suffering. Through all your pain. Remember my face. Im digging your grave. For the rest of your fucking life you will mark my words." -Jamey Jasta

These hit me hard.
 
First off, congrats on your 600th post! Your posts are always interesting and give something valuable to the community. Kudos, Strel!

Ok, onto the quote.

This was relayed to me by my grandfather. Way back in the early '40's, three towns around my grandfather's 500-acre forest place were relocated to create the Pepacton Reservoir, one of the NYC watershed places.

W.C. Fields was at the "inauguration" of the reservoir and the Downsville Dam (Upstate NY). The then-supervisor of Downsville mentioned to Mr. Fields that "this is where you guys in NYC get your water from."

Mr. Fields replied..." Hummph. I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it."

😀
 
JoBelle mentions Churchill, which is fantastic. He rightly ought to be all over this list. There's far too many classics to recount, but I'll just offer my favorite of his, a response to a complaint about a dangling participle and and a sentence ending in a preposition in one of his minutes: "This is the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put."

'course, the Churchill quote I find myself using the most is, "Sir, I leave when the pub closes." Which serves, as a decent segue to the other statement I want to bring up here. Really. Read on if you don't believe me.

Now, what sort of list of best real life quotes would this be if we did not include the last words attributed to Dylan Thomas? A shoddy one, at best. So here they are: "I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record..."

Now that's saying something.

-ss.
 
Another From Churchill

Obnoxious woman to Churchill: Sir, if you were my husband, I'd shoot you.

Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I'd shoot myself.

Strelnikov
 
Another From Churchill

Woops! Posted the same message twice. F%&ing AOL keeps dumping me offline, never know when these replies are actually going to post or not.

Thanks (in advance) to saysomething for the correct version of the above quote, several posts further down the page. Guess my Alzheimer's is acting up again.

Strelnikov
 
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More Mr Churchill

For Red Indian...
It is no use saying "We are doing our best." You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary!
JO
 
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and now for a bit of pedantry up with which i WILL put

Strel:

Great exchange, and one of the one's I had in mind when I said that Churchill ought to be all over this list. But corrections are in order here, as Churchill and Lady Astor (the first female member of british parliament) weren't discussing firearms, but poisoned coffee. Is this pedantry I'm displaying here? Maybe, but somehow I find this version funnier.

Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were married to you I'd put poison in your coffee."

Churchill: "Nancy, if I were married to you I'd drink it."


-ss.


PS. Curious about history, kids? Here's a little more info: This exchange occurred during a weekend house party at Blenheim Palace in the early 1930s, where the two supposedly disagreed more often and intensely than usual. Who was Astor anyway, and why did they disagree? Although a Conservative, like Churchill after 1924, Astor clashed often with him over British relations with Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia. She was a strong backer of the appeasement policies of Chamberlain. So there ya go, everybody. Support your local library.
 
As long as we're on Churchill, here's my favorite:

At a dinner engagement, Churchill's had a few, and starting to get a wee bit raucous.

A woman says, "Winston, you're drunk!"

He replies, "And Madam, you're ugly. Tomorrow, I'll be sober."
 
a real life one.

Overheard in a conversation between a waitress and an obviously frustrated fast food chain manager when she announced a customer was complaining because they ran out of an advertised special item...

"Show them the ad, it says AT Participating Stores only, and WE'RE no longer participating"

That one cracked me up for like 10 minutes 😀
 
COURAGE

"Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village.":wow:
Leonard Louis Levinson
 
True Eloquence

The colonel of Napoleon's Old Guard, when the British demanded their surrender after the Battle of Waterloo:

Textbook version - "The Guard dies, but never surrenders!"

What he actually said - "Merde!"


Strelnikov




(For the linguistically challenged, merde = shit.)
 
Eloquence indeed....

During WWII, the Civil Defense authorities had posters printed which read: "Illumination must be extinguished when premises are vacated."

When he saw these signs, President Franklin Roosevelt exclaimed, "Damn, why can't they just say 'Put out the lights when you leave.'?"

JO 🙂
 
There's no need to fear, Citizens...

Q & Longbaugh, The warnings regarding my Brother's safety as he dispenses justice in the lawless frontier of the college campus are well appreciated.

Q, you're quite right about "Short Man's Disease" (as the geniuses at MST3K used to call it) having an inversely proportional relationship between height and belligerence. I know because my other brother suffers from it, so the Iron Giant (as he is called when a-heroing by... well, just me) has had 20+ years experience with handling it. By and large though, the ones that require "educating" are pretty much Hyenas: Just big enough that they think they're proving how tough they are by smacking a defenseless woman around, yet they cringe and wet themselves when another man, regardless of size, calls them on it. He took to calling them "Hyenas" specifically because of one sorry specimen who hung his head low and struggled to avoid eye contact as my brother informed him that hitting his girlfriend was Not Acceptable Behavior, just like a wild dog deferring to the pack's Alpha Male.

Longbaugh, there's no need to worry about him taking the law into his own hands. He was taught very well by a Criminal Justice teacher about exactly what is and isn't acceptable. When things do get physical, he makes every effort to avoid such escalation, and is especially sure that witnesses note his attempts to verbally prevent the aggressive party from trying anything. He never lays a hand on them until they take the first swing, again making sure that witnesses recognize that fact, so he is completely justified as acting in self-defense.
Further, he has gone to great lengths to cultivate a healthy relationship with Tempe AZ's Famous Sheriff Joe, whom you may know as the man who brought back the idea that Prison is supposed to be an unpleasant place, and the possibility of going there is supposed to frighten you out of commiting crimes. (He's brought back chain gangs, has "built" a prison annex out of tents surrounded by the Arizona Desert so the convicts don't even think of escape into a potentially-lethal environment, inmates are made to wear sissy pink underwear and eat stale Gov't Surplus cold cuts, etc.) My brother has helped to bring at least two or three wanted felons to Sheriff Joe's attention and subsequent gentle ministrations, so the Lawman's likely to look at the Iron Giant's version of events more favorably than that of the wife-beater wanted for drug-peddling. In fact, the most significant physical altercation he's had involved calling the cops and simply restraining the junkie with they aid of his Posse until the law arrived, just in time to hear the scum-sucker shouting that his Ex-girlfriend (who had asked our heroes for help after being beaten savagely by the dirtbag in question) could run wherever she wanted, but he'd find her and kill her. The police did the math: Assault (2 Counts) + Battery + Terroristic Threats + Resisting Arrest + a full pound of Cocaine in suspect's vehicle = 25-30 years in the desert tent city, eating green bologna. I'm told the Sheriff was rather pleased to have the assistance.

And also, Longbaugh, I've seen Legend of the Rangers, and I hope it gets picked up as a series. I like the characters a bit more that the crew of Crusade (who really didn't have much personality past Galen and Dureena), as Captain Martell is devastatingly clever, Dulann, Na'Feel, & Terk are just plain fun to have around, and Sara's Zero-G VR Gunnery station is seriously cool. If they play up the Lovecraftian Elder God aspects of The Hand and prevent them from being repaints of the Shadows, I think they'll be on to something.
 
"War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today."
John F. Kennedy
   
"The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them."
George Orwell    

"Without freedom, no art; art lives only on the restraints it imposes on itself, and dies of all others."
Albert Camus
   
"From Watergate we learned what generations before us have known; our Constitution works. And during Watergate years it was interpreted again so as to reaffirm that no one - absolutely no one - is above the law."
Leon Jaworski

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
John Kenneth Galbraith
   
"America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, it is the other way around. Human rights invented America."
Jimmy Carter    
   
"If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'"  
John Cleese    
   
"If Republicans will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them"
Harry S. Truman

"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward."
Franklin D. Roosevelt    
   
"A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead."
Leo Rosten  
 
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."
Mark Twain    
   
"There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle."
Alexis de Tocqueville
       
"Nothing is quite so wretchedly corrupt as an aristocracy which has lost its power but kept its wealth and which still has endless leisure to devote to nothing but banal enjoyments. All its great thoughts and passionate energy are things of the past, and nothing but a host of petty, gnawing vices now cling to it like worms to a corpse."
Alexis de Tocqueville
   
"What do the nationalists say about killers punishing murderers and thieves sentencing looters?"
Kahlil Gibran

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it."
Clarence Darrow
   
"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
Mark Twain
   
"Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time."
Dennis Miller    
   
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Mohandas Gandhi
   
"Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."
Isaac Asimov

"There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing."
Maya Angelou
 
"I don't have a problem with God, it's his groupies."
Bumper Sticker....which could be it's own thread.
 
Oh Yeah...

Now you're talking my language Ms Jo! Q
 
"Never ascribe to malice, what can be adequately explained by stupidity."
-Napoleon Bonaparte

"If it happens once, it's happenstance. If it happens twice, it's coincidence. If it happens a third time, it's enemy action."
-Ernesto "Che" Guevara

"in a just war, the conscientious objector takes a free ride on the sacrifices of better men. He is a cancer on society."
-Strelnikov
 
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