Blonde Jokes

[sole seeker]

The Killer Biscuit post by Michigan J inspired me to search my archives for some blonde jokes. I thought maybe you guys had some more.

No offense is meant by this thread. After all, the sexiest sight I ever saw was the top of a blonde woman's head. 😀



A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They devised a good plan and they put it into action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!"

The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun.

The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She jumped into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind. The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!"

The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Too Funny! 😀

Soleseeker, that was so funny!
Thanks, I didn't that!

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

How do Blondes have safe sex?

How do Blondes have safe sex?🙄

No one was hurt in the process😉

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

A Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead.....

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops,
they hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags,
the first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it, she
says "meow" the cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second
cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it she says "woof". The
cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag
with the blonde in it she say in her sweetest voice "POTATO."😀

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

This Blonde is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes........so!

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....


(scroll down)... I love this one ...

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FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

 

[milagros317]

And now for my favorite blonde joke:

After six months of dating, Harry breaks up with this blonde woman, because, although she is quite attractive, he thinks that she is mentally unstable.

Three weeks later, Harry is horrified to see her come to his house, brandishing a gun. She puts the gun to her own temple, and Harry relaxes and smiles.

"Wipe that smile off your face, buster," she says, "because you're next!"

 

[kandykisses]

Re: How do Blondes have safe sex?

How do Blondes have safe sex?🙄

No one was hurt in the process😉

🙂 These are great thanks!