Can someone explain the rules to me?

[njjen3953]

How do you let someone know you are really interested in them? I post a lot here and am a friendly and social person. It would be totally out of charachter for me to sit and lurk. BUT, I am in no way an expert on relationships and making them happen. I, like many of you, sit home alone at the computer in hopes someone will take an interest in me as a friend or more.
I know that many females complain about being harrased, so the nice guys who are gentlemen, sit and wait to be contacted by us. On the contrary, many of us are doing the same and feeling like no one is interested.

So, How do we resolve this and open the lines of communication better?

I have tried my way and it is not working. Any thoughts?

Jen

 

[Myriads]

Your own sig line seems to sum it up best.

Be direct and ask people.

Myriads

 

[njjen3953]

I know, Myriads. I do that often. I just fear being pushy. I really just want people to know that I am approachable.

 

[4Pawz]

I understand where you are coming from Jen. The thing is to remember each person is different. Go ahead as Myriads says and let them know you are interested. Then go on based upon their response. If they show interest, continue, if not, they aren't worth it and move on. I am a bit different in that I am not looking for anyone. If I find that special someone here, great, if not, oh well life goes on. There are so many people out there, you will find the right one. Sometimes it just takes some patience and observation. Good Luck with your search🙂

Pawz

 

[njjen3953]

Paws,
I understand, but what happens is that they show interest initially and as soon as they know I am for real, something changes. They get distant.

Even if you are not interested, let me know. Don't leave me hanging and then, if I happen to move on, get hurt or annoyed that I did not wait a lifetime for you.

 

[Krokus]

Well..

Call me corny...but I was always a firm believer in destiny. I think that there is a special person for everyone.....it's just a matter of how it's going to happen, and when. I can promise you that there are many men feeling the same way you do right now... Wondering if there is indeed a partner for them...I used to feel that way....good luck to you. I hope it all works out.

 

[ticklemonster99]

Be aggresive.

Jen, it's better to take a chance and go for it then to sit back and wonder forever what might have been. who knows, maybe that person likes you also and is too shy to make the first move. you've always been a sweet and caring person on this forum, so i have no doubt you'll find that special someone that deserves you. my dad always said "a closed mouth never gets fed". Go for it!!

 

[njjen3953]

Krokus,
I agree. I have always believed in fate. Thanks so much for responding. That was very sweet.

ticklemonster99,
I appreciate you saying what you did. I will hang in there and eventually, I will meet him. Thanks

 

[qjakal]

Re: Be aggresive.

my dad always said "a closed mouth never gets fed". Go for it!!

My Dad always said:

"A closed mouth gathers no feet...."

Of course, he probably doesn't have a foot fetish, but I tried to heed the sentiment he expressed rather than get too literal.

As for Ms Jen, beats me...I didn't even know there WERE rules. I tend to make 'em up as I go along, and I'm quite flexible with myself. Lots of leeway is my motto! I also forgive myself quite easily...I'm good that way.

Life is long Jen. Let it unfold in its own way. BUT, I still like the way you go after what you need! Paradoxical but true! 😕 Q

 

[njjen3953]

I hear ya all chirpin'

I will be as agressive as need be. BUT, hopefully those who read this and were contemplating writing to me will do so as well.

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Ahhh Q. If only you were available. 😉

 

[qjakal]

Dynamo...

Hey, you're a bit too young for a dynamo like me Jen...lololol!

ouch, sprained something trying to laugh....

Q

 

[njjen3953]

Re: Dynamo...

Hey, you're a bit too young for a dynamo like me Jen...lololol!

ouch, sprained something trying to laugh....

Q

Try me. But make sure you have taken your Geritol first. 😛

 

[bigbear_92801]

Jen,

I understand your frustration but you have to realize that even in
an age where we can communicate with anyone almost instantly we are
still all afraid of opening up to the wrong person. Thats why I
think a lot of us lurk for a long time until we are more comfortable
with diving in. I for one would love to have a large group of
friends that I can share my desires about tickling and bare feet
with and not have them slide away in disgust or think I am REALLY
strange. Case in point. I had a good male friend who was really
ticklish. One afternoon we were clowning around and I tickled his
big foot as a joke. HE LOVED IT. For months after that he would
stick his big, beefy feet in my face and I would tickle him for hours.
Then someone told him that having another guy tickle your feet was
something that only gay people do. Even though sex was NEVER a part
of our sessions he pulled away faster than an Indy race car driver.
The thing is that he loved being tickled. He really wanted to be
tickled. He went out of his way to have me tickle him. But his
fear that I was some kind of freak overwrote all of that.

Too many women that I have met are the same way. We can have
wonderful times together but when I start paying attention to
their bare feet they get nervous. They like having their feet
kissed. Most even love being tickled. But that "wrong person"
label creeps in and the relationship falls apart. I have since
decided to stop trying to convert people and seek out those who
are already interested in tickling and foot play.

Ahh, but once again that "wrong person" label creeps in. Will it
be a good session or the worst you have ever had. Will you laugh
with delight or wish you had never showed up for the meeting.
Is there a future with this person or isn't there. Haunting
questions to say the least.

I guess the bottom line is that we are all looking for that perfect
person to share our "complete" lives with. I envy the couples that
find each other and include tickling and foot worship in their daily
lives. I know I have been looking for some time to no avail.
I have learned a certain amount of patience but it is very
frustrating. I know lots of women who are interested in me but
what they don't realize is that all they have to do to win me
over is to kick off their shoes. Fill my bedroom with laughter
and I am yours forever. But how could you ever communicate that🙁

 

[njjen3953]

bigbear,
I understand what you are saying in regards to the regular vanilla world. The reason I asked this question here is because it is guys from this community that I am referring to. I have made myself quite visible and am very open about my desires. Unless someone has negative or hurtfull intentions, I am open to talking.

 

[QBWeaver]

Hi Jen,

It's scary sometimes meeting someone online. You don't truly know that person and even meeting for a few days doesn't truly show you the REAL person.

It's great and fun to flirt online and to connect with folks. However, often the face to face encounter doesn't totally work out exactly as you both had hoped. No specific reason why. It just happens.

I know there have been times when I'd talk to a guy and set something up. Probably 90% of the time it didn't go EXACTLY as I had hoped, even though it was great fun. You and I have talked about how someone said they were going to do this or that and it didn't happen. Don't let that get you down. Things happen, things change. Just go with the flow and enjoy it all without the expectations. That way you won't be let down.

Maybe he's been out of town! Maybe he had a family issue come up. Life happens all around us.

Just relax and let it happen. He might not be the right person for you. And you might not be the right person for him. And yet you both might be right for each other.

So take a deep breath. Relax. Enjoy the sun (if you are getting any!) and let things happen the way they happen. Don't read anything into it. Just relax and see if there is a connection. If so, then go for it girl. But if not, let that be the way it should be and you'll most likely end up with a very special friend.

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Jen, you have got a lot of great advice. Especially from QBWeaver, what she said is so true. If it was ment to be it will happen. You are a great person, you have a fantasic personality! You are attractive, a great sense of humor, you have so much to give and offer....be patient. It will happen, the right man is out there for you. And you don't have to settle just for anyone! Believe in yourself! Good luck Sweetie!🙂

 

[TickledToDeath]

How's this!

There really are no "rules".

See what you want and go for it.
Be yourself. Be Open honest and forthwith.
Be aggressive but NoT overpowering.
Be Patient.

Other than that, all is fair in love and war.😀


TTD

 

[jpmtickle]

Rules??!!

Hi, Jen. Be honest, would you want this process done by a set of rules or steps? That's what makes finding your guy (once it occurs) the best that it can be, because it wasn't a 10-step plan! It happens because it was meant to be regardless of all the other stuff going on in life.

Just making yourself open and approachable, as you have said you are, is all you need to do. He will find you, or maybe you will find him. The great part is that you both will find fulfillment in your love of tickling, and in each other given time and commitment.

Be encouraged, this thread is full of praise for someone who obviously has a lot to offer a relationship. Your approachability will not return empty. Timing is everything. Not that I'm not with the right person, but had I known you all those years ago, who knows?!! 🙂

I hope that you find what you're after, when the time is right. Not when you're hoping so much to make something happen that is isn't.

Take care,
JP

 

[JoBelle]

Jen,
I've been looking at this thread for a few days wondering whether to open my big mouth or not, but I have a different view on things.

You were a part of a couple for a long time prior to putting yourself back "in the market" so to speak. Alot of people in this community have read your posts,talked with you in the chatroom, or read about the SBG and instantly associated you with your ex-other half.(I know that I still do....it's not just "Jen" to me, it's "Jen and____." ) Fact of the matter is that you haven't been available for very long, so I'm sure many people who may otherwise be interested are simply taking a "wait and see" approach. Having been such a short time since your split, it's not uncommon to see couple get back together after being apart even longer than you two have been. I personally think you should give it some more time before you get yourself worried about whether you're getting a true response.

Frankly, in my opinion, what little sense of "standard procedure" that exists is all null and void so soon after a split.

Take your time, take care of you. Make yourself the person that you want someone to care about. When you become that person....your true love will show up. At least, that's my take on things.

My $.02
Joby

 

[njjen3953]

Alot of people in this community have read your posts,talked with you in the chatroom, or read about the SBG and instantly associated you with your ex-other half.(I know that I still do....it's not just "Jen" to me, it's "Jen and____." ) B]

That was a big issue for me that Pete and I actually discussed. I never was half of a person. Although we were together, we were still 2 individual people. If we were one in the same, we would likely still be together.

 

[Kraftie]

Solid advice... and not *just* for Jen!

Take your time, take care of you. Make yourself the person that you want someone to care about. When you become that person....your true love will show up. At least, that's my take on things.

My $.02
Joby

I can't emphasize how much I agree with Joby on this one. In my humble opinion, the best way for anyone to "find" their true love is to stop looking so hard! Instead, why not try investing all that time and energy into self-care? It's not an easy road, and believe me, I *do* know... but few are more rewarding. Then, (like Joby says) once you've become the person you want someone to care about, true love will most likely find you! 😉

Kraftie

 

[Celticrose2001]

To a wonderful ticklefriend(and kickass ECE student)
Looks like all the other ticklephiles beat me to what I was gona say! lol. Seriously tho, I can only second their advise: to be patient, to keep trying and to value your self as a very attractive, smart, dynamic ticklish woman. Also, when the right person comes alone , ( I know from personal experience) make sure he is the RIGHT person for you in every way and that you stay "the whole jen"! Other than that, all I can do is wish you luck in love,school and life, and to say that I'm usually available to chat in the late nights(even with school and part time work I'm a relentless night owl! lol) if you need someone! Take care my ticklish sister! And btw have a BLAST @ the SBG(get tickled a lot and tickle Ven and others for me,eh) Hope to be meeting you in person sometime in Aug



Maggie