Change In Plans... (About My Mom's Treatment)

[Mitchell]

I posted last week about how I was going to be leaving to go up to NJ for six weeks, for my mom to receive daily radiation. A few days ago, my mom shocked me with a thought of a change in plans.

As I've posted before, the hospital that she is being treated at is 150 miles from here. My mom came clean with me that she doesnt like the idea of leaving for six weeks, because we do not have a burglar alarm, the management has our keys, and free access to our apartment. Additionally, even though we have traps set, we are still having problems with mice, both alive, and dead. (Ick, I know).

So, my mom came up with the idea that instead of spending the huge sum of cash on living expenses to live in NJ, that we should just ride back and forth each day, for her treatment. Initially, my assistant squawked at this idea, going off about the mileage on his car, even though we will be paying him double his usual salary, plus gas, to take these trips. Finally, he agreed.

Beginning a week from Tuesday, unless something changes, we will be doing daily rides three hours to NJ, my mom will receive radiation, daily, and then we will be riding home three hours. I told her that I'm committed to these long trips, but I just wonder how long it will be before my assistant goes off about the trips. We arent doing this for a pleasure cruise, it is to save my mom's life. I went ballistic when I heard about his "mileage on his car". Its like, if you dont want to put mileage on your car, dont get a driving job. Normally, until this NJ treatment situation happened, we had been taking short trips with him.

For myself: I've ridden up and back on the train to NYC for the day, 3 hours each way, several times, not to mention the times I did it every week, at least a dozen times or more, since my mom began treatment. I can handle it. Hopefully, all will go well with her treatment, so we can do this. I understand my mom's thinking. Living away from home for six weeks at age 73, when you already have cancer and other lung diseases, is hard.

Anyhow, so thats the current plan. If anything changes, and I do leave for any extended period of time, I will post.

Mitch

 

[Jagermeistered]

My thoughts are with your mother and you, Mitch.

 

[unclebill]

Best of luck, Mitch.

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

I hope the treatment goes well and the travel is bearable for all of you.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your thoughts, nv, I appreciate it.

Thanks, bill, I appreciate it, my friend.

Thanks for your good wishes, Georgia. I expect there will be some fatigue with the travel, but, it will be all worth it if the doctor can make my mom's situation with the cancer better, and if she feels comfortable sleeping in her own bed at night.

Mitch

 

[love feet]

my Best!!.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, love feet, I appreciate it, my friend.

Mitch

 

[texastickler]

Good Luck with that buddy. You are in my thoughts. It might prove to be too much for you Mom though. That radiation is taxing. Keep an eye on her and do what you think is best.

 

[Bugman]

Mitch, would taking a train be a viable option? You mentioned you've done it many times. I've never been on one so I have no idea what its like.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, texas. You can bet I will keep an eye on her. The back and forth is her idea. If it gets to be too much, we'll get a place.

No, bug, unfortunately, a train is not an option, because the hospital is in a rural area of NJ, far from the Newark and New York train stations. Driving is the only viable option to get there.

What ultimately happens will all depend on how my mom feels, and how she handles the treatment. Hopefully, she wont have a reaction to it.

Mitch

 

[kis123]

Mitch I do hope your mother's treatment plan is successful.

I'm not sure how the travel will toll on her body. Maybe if you guys went home 1-2 times a week as opposed to six hours of travel every day? That seems taxing to all of you.

If you're already getting pushback from your driver before you even get on the road, those six hours can become really unpleasant. Especially if he's the type of person that doesn't keep his opinions to himself.

Actually I'm thinking out loud for potential alternatives for you and your mother. Regardless of how you get this done, you have my support and my hopes for a complete recovery.

 

[Mitchell]

kis, thanks for your good wishes.

I dont think anyone knows how the travel will affect my mom's body. We wont know until we see what happens.

The driver is definitely not the type of person who keeps his opinions to himself. He's not a nice guy, and he's the only issue my mom and I fight about. In fact, last year, he initially refused to take us to NJ at all, and we had to call another driver who we had for several months in 2008. Finally, after the second guy wanted to retire totally, our current one agreed to do it.

As for what eventually happens, I'm going to leave the decision up to my mom. She's the patient. I was prepared to leave for six weeks, and I'm prepared to travel every day if that's what she wants.

We have several options if the driver complains. One, stay up there for a while. Two, get another driver to split the driving with him.. and still come home 5 days a week, so he's only doing it 2-3 days a week. Three, if he really gets nasty, and doesnt want to do it at all, find another driver completely who is willing to do it, and get rid of him totally. The last option wouldnt make me sad, because, as I've posted before, he is a very miserable guy, who has said awful things to me, about everything in my life, from a girl I've liked "Cheating" on me, to my business failing, to being 35-40 and not married.

Either way, it will be a wait and see situation. We'll take it a day at a time, and see what happens.

Thanks again, kis. I appreciate it.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

Get some good tunes in the car to make the ride as pleasant as possible for your mom.

And do try to find another driver? Nobody needs his bitching at a time like this.

 

[kis123]

The driver is definitely not the type of person who keeps his opinions to himself. He's not a nice guy, and he's the only issue my mom and I fight about. In fact, last year, he initially refused to take us to NJ at all, and we had to call another driver who we had for several months in 2008. Finally, after the second guy wanted to retire totally, our current one agreed to do it.

..........We have several options if the driver complains. One, stay up there for a while. Two, get another driver to split the driving with him.. and still come home 5 days a week, so he's only doing it 2-3 days a week. Three, if he really gets nasty, and doesnt want to do it at all, find another driver completely who is willing to do it, and get rid of him totally. The last option wouldnt make me sad, because, as I've posted before, he is a very miserable guy, who has said awful things to me, about everything in my life, from a girl I've liked "Cheating" on me, to my business failing, to being 35-40 and not married.

You sir, are a way better one than me.

My money can be better spent on hiring a driver who is pleasant and respectful instead of this yahoo! You've been complaining about him for years; why is he even still around? I'm sure the economy's struggling in PA and there are plenty of people that would take the driving job. Maybe you should consider a plan B.

Either way, it will be a wait and see situation. We'll take it a day at a time, and see what happens.

Thanks again, kis. I appreciate it.

Mitch

Yes it will be a wait and see kind of thing. I hope you all fare well under these circumstances.

 

[Mitchell]

kis, as to why he's still around.. my mom is responsible for that. Let's just say that she hasnt always made the best decisions when it comes to him.

In 2008, this yakhole quit, with no notice, leaving us in the lurch. When we put an ad in for other drivers, another guy called, who was with us for seven months. He wanted to retire, to spend more free time with his wife. Fine. He did it the right way.. gave us notice.. etc. Soo. the current yakhole calls back, applying for the job again. I didnt want to hire him back, but my mom overruled me, because. she makes more money than I do, and perceives that this gives her more decision making over what happens. Her excuse for hiring him back, was that "None of the other responses sounded good".

He gets along better with my mom, I think, than he does with me. He's personally attacked me many times over the years. As far back as 2001, when he wished Market America to fail, so he would have to drive me to a regular job, my now former business partner in the company, told me to get rid of him. Trust me, had that company worked as it was supposed to, he would have been gone, long ago.

Right now, we need someone to do the job, to take my mom up to NJ. He has said he was going to do it. I have my mom's promise that once her radiation is over, if her scans come up better, and she doesnt have to go up there, he will be gone. I'm hoping she lives up to her promise.

It's a situation I dont have complete control over. Trust me.. if I won.. a million dollars.. or the lottery, I'd give him his walking papers. A friend of mine on this site, who I of course will not name, has heard me talk about him for many years.

I appreciate your insight, kis. Right now, everyone should just pray for clean scans for my mom. I suspect most people are, except for my father, my father's wife, my ex best friend, and my ex best friend's mother, . If my mom is okay, the problem with the driver can be solved.

Mitch

 

[kis123]

kis, as to why he's still around.. my mom is responsible for that. Let's just say that she hasnt always made the best decisions when it comes to him.

In 2008, this yakhole quit, with no notice, leaving us in the lurch. When we put an ad in for other drivers, another guy called, who was with us for seven months. He wanted to retire, to spend more free time with his wife. Fine. He did it the right way.. gave us notice.. etc. Soo. the current yakhole calls back, applying for the job again. I didnt want to hire him back, but my mom overruled me, because. she makes more money than I do, and perceives that this gives her more decision making over what happens. Her excuse for hiring him back, was that "None of the other responses sounded good".

He gets along better with my mom, I think, than he does with me. He's personally attacked me many times over the years. As far back as 2001, when he wished Market America to fail, so he would have to drive me to a regular job, my now former business partner in the company, told me to get rid of him. Trust me, had that company worked as it was supposed to, he would have been gone, long ago.

Right now, we need someone to do the job, to take my mom up to NJ. He has said he was going to do it. I have my mom's promise that once her radiation is over, if her scans come up better, and she doesnt have to go up there, he will be gone. I'm hoping she lives up to her promise.

It's a situation I dont have complete control over. Trust me.. if I won.. a million dollars.. or the lottery, I'd give him his walking papers. A friend of mine on this site, who I of course will not name, has heard me talk about him for many years.

I appreciate your insight, kis. Right now, everyone should just pray for clean scans for my mom. I suspect most people are, except for my father, my father's wife, my ex best friend, and my ex best friend's mother, . If my mom is okay, the problem with the driver can be solved.

Mitch

Well I'm not here to tell you how to handle your situation; to say that your hands are full would be an understatement. I'm hoping I didn't come off too bossy; I've been so punchy the last couple of days, I've banned myself from P&R!

When these crises occur, we have to do whatever it takes to get to the next level. If your mom can handle six hours of travel per day, then that's what you do. But if she's struggling, you have the right and duty to put your foot down and do what's best for her. I had to do it with my mother, and it wasn't pretty, but I had to look out for her best interests even if it meant her not getting her way.

It's times like these when it absolutely sucks to be an only child, but you're all she has so you both make the most of it.

Oh, I don't want to hear one thing about your father or his family. I want you to focus on being the positive support system your mother needs. I don't give a fuzzy rat's tail about what that man thinks and neither should you. You've been doing well about keeping that in check; don't let your stress get the best of you. Stay focused on keeping your mom calm and positive so she can get through these treatments.

Well wishes and Godspeed........

 

[Mitchell]

kis, thanks. As for putting my foot down, I will if need be.

As for my father: I should put forth this one thing: My mom talks about him more than I do. She seems more royally pissed off that he ditched me now than even I am. If she didnt want to talk about him, I wouldnt. Unfortunately, she goes on about him, too much.

My only care is my mom and what's best for her. As long as she's doing okay, and the Drs can help improve her situation, and make her comfortable, that's the main concern for me.

Mitch

 

[carol8961]

You are both in my prayers! I'm sure your mom will be fine. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Like I said in another post, you can call me anytime. I can give you my number if you want it.