Childrens Excuses For Being Off School

[njjen3953]

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please
execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28,29,30,31,32
and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of
a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. he had (diahre)
(dyrea) (direathe) the shits. {words were crossed out in the)'s}

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and
his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wears.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we
thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16 becauue she had a fever, sore throat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be
something going around, her father even got hot last night.

 

[TKpervert]

oh good GRIEF

I get the sinking feeling that these were all for for real

Funny !

We need another 'For Dummies' book:

"How to stamp out people who need 'For Dummies' books

 

[Terra_Ascension]

No joke....

Whenever I wanted to miss a day at school, I'd simply take some chocolate milk powder and put it in the toilet and then tell my parents I had a runny tummy (dhyeria) and they could see the "evidence"!

TA

 

[BigJim]

Re: No joke....

Whenever I wanted to miss a day at school, I'd simply take some chocolate milk powder and put it in the toilet and then tell my parents I had a runny tummy (dhyeria) and they could see the "evidence"!

TA

Ewwwwwwwwwww............... Mind you, I wish I'd thought of that!

 

[BigJim]

Jen, are these for real? I have a very sad feelnig like they might be. Makes you wonder how many days at school the parents missed, doesn't it?

 

[grippedchimp]

Dude Terra, that's revolting. You're lucky they didn't smell it...

 

[milagros317]

joke on same subject

Jen's examples are real; below is a joke on the same topic:

Johnny, ten years old, arrives at his rural county school at 11am. The following dialogue ensues:

Teacher: Johnny, I told this class yesterday that we should all be on time today for an important test. Where were you?

Johnny: I had to take one of our cows to the Jones' farm to be serviced.

Teacher: But you knew there was an important test this mornng. Couldn't your father have done it instead?

Johnny: Sure, my father could have. But not nearly as good as Farmer Jones' bull. 😀

 

[BigJim]

Re: joke on same subject

Jen's examples are real; below is a joke on the same topic:

Johnny, ten years old, arrives at his rural county school at 11am. The following dialogue ensues:

Teacher: Johnny, I told this class yesterday that we should all be on time today for an important test. Where were you?

Johnny: I had to take one of our cows to the Jones' farm to be serviced.

Teacher: But you knew there was an important test this mornng. Couldn't your father have done it instead?

Johnny: Sure, my father could have. But not nearly as good as Farmer Jones' bull. 😀

Okay, I need to barf right about now.

 

[sole seeker]

JEN, I FELL TO MY KNEES AND LAUGHED MY ENTIRE ASS OFF OVER THIS ONE!

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. he had (diahre)(dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [Words in parenthesis] were crossed out.

But as for this one:

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Well what the hell... School's not gonna help this kid anyway - her genepool is way too shallow!

Thanks for posting these Jen!

 

[JPie1]

this is very funny but very sad too. I am sure these are all true.