Chinese Proverbs

[venray]

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
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Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
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Man with one chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
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Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

 

[Strelnikov]

Rest Room Philosophy

WRITTEN ON THE RESTROOM WALL

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
-Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
-Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you can piss this high, join the fire department.
- On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet
O'Ryan's Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.

Beauty is only a light switch away.
- Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
-Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
-The Irish Times. Washington, DC

Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or tits, you're going to have trouble with it.
-Men's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
-Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.

Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
-Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom, Key West, FL

Express Lane: Five beers or less
-Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA

You're too good for him.
-Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
-Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
-Wally Bobek’s, Buffalo, NY.

Out of paper? Wipe your butt on a spotted owl.
-Inside toilet stall, highway rest stop in Oregon.


Strelnikov

 

[shark]

Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand.
various mens' room stalls


Long and thin may go further in,but short and thick makes a better dick.
Written on flash shield in Pittsburgh

Oral sex makes one's hole day...anal sex makes one's (w)hole weak.
Pittsburgh radio station

 

[Haltickling]

From German men's rest rooms:

- Step nearer, it is shorter than you think!

On a condome vending machine:

- This is the worst chewing gum I've ever tried!

😀

 

[venray]

From German men's rest rooms:


On a condome vending machine:

- This is the worst chewing gum I've ever tried!

😀

I HOPE that was i the ladies room...LOL

 

[Haltickling]

LOL, no venray, it was in the men's room. Probably he never tried the strawberry-flavored variety...😀

 

[Strelnikov]

Another Men's Room Graffiti

"Don't throw cigarets in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light."

Strelnikov

 

[shark]

They're all the same, except some are different.
TRUE STATEMENT BY PAST EMPLOYER

Know one thing...your future depends on you.
This guy must have taken one hell of a dump

Flush twice...it's a long way to the galley.
US naval vessel

For a good time call......................................
Just about all mens' room stalls

 

[guitman69]

Man who go to sleep with itchy ass, wake up with smelly finger.

 

[GuitarPeteTklr]

Good Stuff, Venray!...I Have Two To Contribute

"Woman who fly upside down have crack UP!"

"A man who gets too big for his britches, gets exposed in the end."

*GuitarPeteTklr shreds his Confucian way back into tickling oblivion* 😀

 

[CitY of MicA]

very funny, venray!

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Don't I know it!

 

[JohnnyB]

Written on a toilet paper dispenser:

-This is John Wayne toilet paper. It's rough, it's tough, and it don't take shit from anybody!

 

[kurchatovium]

More Men's Room Griffiti

Written in the corner of the men's room stall:
"If you can read this you're crapping on the floor."

Another favorite:
"Life's a virgin, a bitch is too easy."

 

[shark]

As I slide down the banister of life,I will always remember you as a splinter up my ass.
UNKNOWN

 

[shark]

Know one thing...your future depends on you.

Found on a dear john wall...someone must have taken a major dump to get this gem.

 

[shark]

accepted lore

It's not the fall that's the problem.It's that sudden stop at the end.