Codependent

[bballa4life60]

I wanted to know if there was anyone on here who is familiar with being codependent, whether you consider yourself codependent or you've studied it before. This probably sounds stupid, I know.

I'm in my early 20s, and I love my life. I'm not depressed, sad, crazy, insane (except for the fact that I love being tickled......). Just kidding, that doesn't make me insane at all (except maybe in a good way).

Anyway (I'm rambling), a friend of mine told me the other day "quit being so codependent". I was curious about this, and I did a little online-reading about it, but it still didn't seem like it was something that resembled myself.

So, if any of you have any insight regarding the typical behavior/"symptoms" of being codependent, along with any ideas on how to deal with it, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

 

[Knox The Hatter]

A word vastly overused by people who don't know the definition. Does not one iota of good correcting them; might as well try to stop a flood with your outstretched hand.

 

[Interrogator]

I agree with Knox, codependent is often used instead of clingy just to make a point. Of course being codependent implies that your both equally responsible for the situation your friend perceives you to be in, so you could always use that as a comeback 🙂 I can't say I've ever been codependent. When I went to off to uni it broke up my very close knit bunch of mates, which was quite a shock to the system, but I got used to it. Codependence is something more though, try asking someone in a long-term relationship. It sounds to me like your friend was being a bit melodramtic, just give them some space and everything will pan out fine.

 

[Cy/MiG]

I'm co-dependent w/ booze. 😀

 

[BrightEyes1082]

So, if any of you have any insight regarding the typical behavior/"symptoms" of being codependent, along with any ideas on how to deal with it, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

Codependent on what/whom? If she means you're acting clingy or
needy, that's not the same thing. Next time she says it, ask her who
or what she thinks you're codependent on.

I've learned to ignore other peoples' diagnoses, unless they are doctors.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

...and sometimes, even when they ARE doctors!

 

[desdemona]

...and sometimes, even when they ARE doctors!

Wow....ouch!

 

[bballa4life60]

thanks!

I'm co-dependent w/ booze. 😀

Thanks for the replies. Yes, looking back on it now, it might mean she was referring to me being clingy to someone else. The general situation was that my very close friend was not in the best of moods, and for some reason meant she didn't feel like talking to me. This made me feel a little down as well, I ended up telling my other friend in casual conversation, and thats when she made the remark.

Oh, and yes, I'm co-dependent with booze as well -takes a sip of whiskey- 🙂

 

[dazed]

If you want to check again look up the website for 'codependents anonymous' (CoDA). It's a complex state but one people recover from with support and self-help strategies. Your friend was probably being flippant. An example of someone manifesting codependency is someone in an abusive relationship and it is horrible to be trapped in patterns of behaviour that lead on into such a lonely life where love hurts. Children of emotional manipulators can end up codependent. It's not a term to be used lightly and it might be a good idea for your friend to educate herself by looking up the term. Actually most popular love songs are full of co dependence.

 

[CaptainValiant]

You just need to forget about Colorado. I think that will make you feel better.