I don't claim credit for these. Just for finding them hysterical...
All men eat, but Fu Manchu.
America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.
Boy who fool around with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.
Boy who go to bed horny wake up with solution in hand.
Boy who play with himself pulls boner.
Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
Elevator smell different to midget.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money.
He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet!
He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
He who sleep with itchy bum, he will wake with smelly thumb.
He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
He who stands on toilet seat is high on pot; and he who sniffs Coke, drowns.
It take square ass to shit a brick.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement!
Man piss in wind, wind piss back.
Man should learn to masturbate ... come in handy!
Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
Woman who fly upside down have hairy crackup.
Man who jack into peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Man who lay woman on ground have peace on earth.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Man who polish knob play pocket pool.
Man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker.
Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
Man who put rooster in freezer over night have frozen cock.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who screw near graveyard is fucking near dead.
Man who sneeze without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
Man who speak with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who who put cock on stove have hot rod.
Man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion.
Man with atheletic finger make broad jump.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Never trust man with short legs, brains too near the bottom.
Secretary not permanent fixture till screwed on desk.
Squirrel who run up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Woman who eat cookies in bed at night will wake up feeling crummy.
Woman who not practise sex before marriage is sentenced to an indeterminate length.
Woman who put detergent on top shelf jump for Joy.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
Woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.
All men eat, but Fu Manchu.
America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.
Boy who fool around with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.
Boy who go to bed horny wake up with solution in hand.
Boy who play with himself pulls boner.
Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
Elevator smell different to midget.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money.
He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet!
He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
He who sleep with itchy bum, he will wake with smelly thumb.
He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
He who stands on toilet seat is high on pot; and he who sniffs Coke, drowns.
It take square ass to shit a brick.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement!
Man piss in wind, wind piss back.
Man should learn to masturbate ... come in handy!
Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
Woman who fly upside down have hairy crackup.
Man who jack into peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Man who lay woman on ground have peace on earth.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Man who polish knob play pocket pool.
Man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker.
Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
Man who put rooster in freezer over night have frozen cock.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who screw near graveyard is fucking near dead.
Man who sneeze without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
Man who speak with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who who put cock on stove have hot rod.
Man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion.
Man with atheletic finger make broad jump.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Never trust man with short legs, brains too near the bottom.
Secretary not permanent fixture till screwed on desk.
Squirrel who run up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Woman who eat cookies in bed at night will wake up feeling crummy.
Woman who not practise sex before marriage is sentenced to an indeterminate length.
Woman who put detergent on top shelf jump for Joy.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
Woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.
