Cool Joke

[njjen3953]

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from
several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had
finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the
train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly
adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her
little dog.

The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and
said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my
Little Fife is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after
another" trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing
the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."
The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only
are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and
chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you
Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.

You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the
wrong side of the road.

And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

Jen

 

[njjen3953]

Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally
dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the
table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife Sue, legs spread wide,
wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back
up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife
followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"

Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that,
well, indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost
you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial as well as
the moral costs of this offer, John indicates that he is indeed interested.
She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons and John
doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2.00 Friday afternoon .

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the
planned time with Sue at 2:00 pm sharp and after paying her the agreed sum
of $500, they went to the bedroom and closed their sexual transaction as Sue
had promised. Afterwards, John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6:00 pm and upon entering
the house, asked his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this
afternoon?"
A little worried, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by
for a few minutes this afternoon."
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked,
And did he give you $500?"
In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, and
after mustering up her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact
he did give me $500."
Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
"Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon
on his way home and pay me back."


NOW THAT'S A POKER PLAYER! ! !

 

[Dave2112]

A couple of good ones, Jen....thanks!😀

 

[Deleted member 2452]

thank you jen

i need a good laugh. thank you for those jokes.
steve