VeryActually
Registered User
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2023
- Messages
- 4
- Points
- 0
Wasn't sure where to post this besides here. But I've noticed that my life experiences differ with a lot of this site's user base to an extent where I feel lost on how to engage with the site and its community healthily.
Admittedly it's an incredible feat of technology that we are able to collectively meet here and discuss our "taboo" kink, as well as share/view nearly endless media pertaining to it. However what I've noticed in my own experience is that this inundation of content becoming available to me has conversely created in me a desire for extreme content specificity, such that I am no longer satisfied with most of the content I used to love in this scene. I've become wholly fixated on specific signs, signifiers, and aesthetic commonalities that have effectively limited my once-broad enjoyment of the fetish.
It'd be one thing if this were the only hiccup I was experiencing. I know that weaning and moderation are two strategies to help get me back on track. But to vent further, I feel like an alien even among this site's user base and find it difficult to relate.
To be clear, not one person has said anything to make me feel explicitly unwelcome. I have even had a few worthwhile 1 on 1 conversations with more experienced members of the site that have kept me around. However, I'm not sure what a good approach or mindset for putting myself out there on this site would even look like. I recognize the fact that I am younger than most active users, I express my gender unconventionally, and have little to no experience interacting with genuine enthusiasts at large. My experiences with tickling have almost entirely been in the context of committed relationships I've had, where my kink and its satiation were treated as matters of appeasement rather than an exercise in mutual enjoyment. When my experiences have not taken on this form, the only other experiences I've had with tickling have been traumatic; they are/were experiences I did not consent to and was powerless to curtail. All things considered, I don't feel like I have an effective language to communicate my desires and personality insofar as it pertains to this community.
I'm just lost. I don't understand what a good strategy for finding my place in this community would look like. I feel so different, inexpereinced, and invalid. I feel like I bother people without intending to. I crave friendship and connection here, but I don't know how to get there. If anyone relates to what I'm saying and has any advice for me, or desire to get to know me, I'm very open to talking further either in DMs or elsewhere. But for right now, I'm just writing this to get it off my chest in the hopes of finding broader perspective.
Best, V.A.
Admittedly it's an incredible feat of technology that we are able to collectively meet here and discuss our "taboo" kink, as well as share/view nearly endless media pertaining to it. However what I've noticed in my own experience is that this inundation of content becoming available to me has conversely created in me a desire for extreme content specificity, such that I am no longer satisfied with most of the content I used to love in this scene. I've become wholly fixated on specific signs, signifiers, and aesthetic commonalities that have effectively limited my once-broad enjoyment of the fetish.
It'd be one thing if this were the only hiccup I was experiencing. I know that weaning and moderation are two strategies to help get me back on track. But to vent further, I feel like an alien even among this site's user base and find it difficult to relate.
To be clear, not one person has said anything to make me feel explicitly unwelcome. I have even had a few worthwhile 1 on 1 conversations with more experienced members of the site that have kept me around. However, I'm not sure what a good approach or mindset for putting myself out there on this site would even look like. I recognize the fact that I am younger than most active users, I express my gender unconventionally, and have little to no experience interacting with genuine enthusiasts at large. My experiences with tickling have almost entirely been in the context of committed relationships I've had, where my kink and its satiation were treated as matters of appeasement rather than an exercise in mutual enjoyment. When my experiences have not taken on this form, the only other experiences I've had with tickling have been traumatic; they are/were experiences I did not consent to and was powerless to curtail. All things considered, I don't feel like I have an effective language to communicate my desires and personality insofar as it pertains to this community.
I'm just lost. I don't understand what a good strategy for finding my place in this community would look like. I feel so different, inexpereinced, and invalid. I feel like I bother people without intending to. I crave friendship and connection here, but I don't know how to get there. If anyone relates to what I'm saying and has any advice for me, or desire to get to know me, I'm very open to talking further either in DMs or elsewhere. But for right now, I'm just writing this to get it off my chest in the hopes of finding broader perspective.
Best, V.A.
