Dependent on tickling to get hard

[Deadlifts4Days]

Hi everyone, I'm pretty new to this community but I've been into tickling my whole life. This girl and I have been seeing each other for about 3 years but we recently decided to have sex. Unfortunately, I had trouble getting it up without tickling her feet every few seconds and once I did get hard I would go soft as soon as I penetrated her. She was pretty disappointed and freaked out when I mentioned I had a tickling fetish. We haven't talked since then. I'm worried that I won't ever be able to have normal sex with anyone. It's kinda frustrating, I'm in college and everyone's having sex while I can't even get hard without tickling.

Has this happen to anyone else? How do you cope with it? Is it because I get off to too many tickling videos? I'm one month into NoFap but I still feel dependent on the fetish. I'm not really sure what to do at this point, it's ruining my life. Any advice is welcome!

 

[TicklingTips]

Is it because I get off to too many tickling videos?

If that's all you ever get off on, then yes. You've got to transition to the point where you can get off on sex or a girl's body without tickling involved...even if sometimes you have to be thinking about tickling at the same time. You'll get there.

 

[BarbaricTickler88]

It's going to be alright. Just stop with the tickling videos for a while, and let girl you're with express herself. I'm sure she'll get you going. You don't have to do all the work. Sex is about making each other feel great, not just one of you. At least try it that way if you can, and see what happens next.

 

[Dandy Jack]

I can tell you this without some kind of tickling involved.

I do not want to have sex at all.

Without tickling it's not the same.

My girlfriend does not like enjoy or want to include tickling

So we have a sexless relationship. It's a tickling stand-off.

I pay strippers go to Foot-parties and have tickle sessions without sex.

So I can live without sex but I won't try to go without tickling.

When I find the right girl who understands my strong need for tickling

I will simply fire the chick I have.

Having to always pay cash to enjoy some form of tickling is a very terrible existence.

My current girlfriend is a bitch but I like having her around.

Relationships are kinda weird and mine involves no tickling.

So I compromise on the no tickling part.

It's sad!

I need to meet the tickling girl of my dreams.

Amazing Fucking Amy would have to be ticklish and let me have

my way with her!

Dandy Jack

 

[Backstep]

If you're really struggling, see a therapist. I did for a while, and it helped me to integrate other sexual desires into what I enjoy. It doesn't go away, but you can learn to enjoy sexual activity more.

Beyond that, lay off the porn. You don't have to go "no fap," but I find that porn does hurt you if that's primarily how you're getting satisfied.

 

[teamtickleguy]

Well done for posting and for not hiding - definitely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
It's just something you need to understand and work out, many of us have been there and have had awkward experiences because we approach sex or our fetish in way that's not always the best way for us or for others involved.

It's a shame to hear that the girl has not spoken to you since, despite the three years you had previously been seeing each other - maybe you could approach her again and offer to explain the tickle fetish in a non-sexual situation to see if it less freaky to her once she's given you the chance to explain over a drink or whatever.

I would resist watching tickling videos...you could become dependent on them and that dependency transfers to real life.

Don't just focus on what you'd like to do to a sexual partner - think about how they can turn you one by what they can do to you. They will enjoy this as well by seeing that they are doing a good job at turning you on.

Ask each other the question of what you'd like the other person to do to you during foreplay. Pleasure your partner freely without worrying about getting hard instantly, see where it takes you.
Ask your next sexual partner to stimulate you physically all over your body - if you like being tickled, you can ask her to tickle you or just stroke you, which you may find (like I do) can get you very hard, without actually including a deliberate tickling element.

Does it have to be the feet you tickle? Apart from being a bit logistically awkward, you also shouldn't forget that you can also touch a girl lightly in many other places when having sex and she'll likely get a bit ticklish and giggly - try the underarms/sides/neck/back etc - it can be much more accessible to a sexual partner than feet tickling if done gently.

Focus on other things you find attractive in her - the smile, the eyes, her smell, feeling her against you.

You can always have tickling scenarios or fantasies in your mind when being intimate, but this can sometimes lead you appearing distracted as you focus on them too much - it's best to create as much sexual desire together as a team by experimenting and touching each other.

hope that helps
Cheers
TTG

 

[stonetickler_85]

This post have me s good laugh ur a funny man the way u word ur predicament

 

[playjoe]

I don't have that problem but ... try putting her ankles on your shoulders so you can kiss her feet while fucking her and your cock will hit her G spot in this position ! Girls Love it ! Am I right Ladies ?

Joe

 

[Deadlifts4Days]

Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. I'm really grateful I found this community, it makes me feel like I'm not alone for once. I'll continue abstaining from tickling videos in the mean time and try to focus on other aspects of sex as best I can. Hopefully in a few months it'll fix itself!

 

[sydney-buddy]

At the end of the day you posses a fetish. it isn't the most common but its definitely one of the least harmful. You said you are in college right? How is your confidence and game around women in general? Are you a good talker, can you hold a conversation, is harmless flirting a part of your everyday life? Basically if the answer is yes to any of these i wouldn't worry at all. This is a fun fetish and believe me when i say you are young and are going to meet countless women who either 1. Enjoy being tickled to an extent if it gets their lover off or 2. simply do not give a FUCK about it as they will simply be wanting to have sex with you.

When i was finishing high school and just started uni i was worried i wouldn't be able to embrace my foot and tickling fetish with many girls, this was wrong and i am inferior for thinking this. If you are a nice guy, with confidence and come across in a confident way about yourself and your sexual preferences then trust me, women will not care one bit when it comes to our kind of fetish. This of course isn't a statement about ALL women, but i found in my experience there are plenty out there, so if one doesn't allow you to explore your fetish, find another one simple as that 🙂!

Good luck my dude!
Oh and congrats on posting about it here, I'm sure it wasn't easy

 

[desperado_flare]

At the end of the day you posses a fetish. it isn't the most common but its definitely one of the least harmful. You said you are in college right? How is your confidence and game around women in general? Are you a good talker, can you hold a conversation, is harmless flirting a part of your everyday life? Basically if the answer is yes to any of these i wouldn't worry at all. This is a fun fetish and believe me when i say you are young and are going to meet countless women who either 1. Enjoy being tickled to an extent if it gets their lover off or 2. simply do not give a FUCK about it as they will simply be wanting to have sex with you.

When i was finishing high school and just started uni i was worried i wouldn't be able to embrace my foot and tickling fetish with many girls, this was wrong and i am inferior for thinking this. If you are a nice guy, with confidence and come across in a confident way about yourself and your sexual preferences then trust me, women will not care one bit when it comes to our kind of fetish. This of course isn't a statement about ALL women, but i found in my experience there are plenty out there, so if one doesn't allow you to explore your fetish, find another one simple as that 🙂!

Good luck my dude!
Oh and congrats on posting about it here, I'm sure it wasn't easy

This is a nice sentiment, but I don't feel it really captures the extent of the problem. I've been very successful with dating women. The conversational skills, the charisma, the looks and sense of style, all there. I'm still scared by this.

The fact is that, unless we find women who don't just tolerate these activities, but are truly turned on by them, we have a serious dilemma. A girl who just tolerates being tickled or having her feet played with will probably be sick of these activities a few years into the relationship. The only other hope is finding a girl who has kinks of her own that you can indulge, which negates the need for traditional sex altogether.

The good news is that plenty of women prefer other sexual activities to penetration. In my experience, nothing drives a girl as wild as eating out, so get good at that. Your fingers and tongue can more than compensate for your dick. If you put a lot of emphasis on pleasing the girl you're with, instead of making it all about you and your desires, you'll be alright.

As a fun extra fact, I hear that Elvis had a similar dilemma in regards to feet. He did alright in the end, though I'm sure the massive fame and fortune helped. haha

 

[lady_ambrosia]

i don't think demonising pornography or masturbation is the answer here... have you considered seeing a sex therapist to discuss this? i feel like this would really help you to flesh out the issues at hand in a way that people on a forum can't possibly have the answers to without knowing more about you. i hope you work things out xxx

 

[alex]

I second the idea of seeing a sex therapist. You can find a directory here: http://aasect.org/referral-directory

 

[lady_ambrosia]

Yeah, definitely check out the directory Alex posted and find an excellent provider locally if you can. Often these kinds of sexual issues aren't always about what we think they are about and a qualified sex therapist can discuss these issues with you and flesh out everything that may be at stake psychologically as well as sexually. x

 

[strokes]

Hey man, I just want to commend you for your bravery for posting this here. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I have been in your predicament before with both of the girls I've slept with. I thought that I wouldn't be able to have an erection or have sex without tickling involved. It turned out that I was just extremely nervous about my lack of experience with traditional sexual activity and that nervousness is what caused my impotence. Remember that initiating and maintaining an erection is programmed through the parasympathetic nervous system, which is deactivated by the sympathetic nervous system when you're nervous. So maybe start there. Were you really nervous when you guys tried to have sex? If you were, explain that you felt that way and I'm sure she would be really understanding. I've found that when I get comfortable I can not only have sex but get off to it too, even with no tickling involved. The mind is a very powerful thing my friend.

The above post nails it my friend. I've been in almost the exact same situation as you deadlifts4days. I actually believed the tickling videos were the problem. Turned out that wasn't the case. There's a lot of factors at play but largely you're probably just nervous. Our thoughts can be powerful forces. Believing you can't perform because of too many vids or any other reason (lack of experience) for that matter will derail you and make you nervous.... So will putting a ton of pressure on yourself to perform. You'll start thinking instead of feeling. I suggest you relax, take deep breaths. Be yourself! and be with a girl who is open and understanding and kind. Go slow. Experience the moment. Also don't ignore your fetish as it's a part of you and that's perfectly fine. As your confidence builds you'll speed past this hang up with ease and wonder what the big deal was.