Do You Ever Feel Like Your Tickling Fetish Costed You Life Opportunities / Wasted Time?

[duderino84]

Hey guys,

It seems to be national punishment week and as things have been going on, I've gotten concerned about my age. I turned 40 back in May.

Since I have been busy, and the past couple years have been a blur, I didn't really notice/ pay attention. Particularly because I've been in a work situation that challenged my tolerance for working with difficult people. But that's another story.

But it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks.

I tried talking online elsewhere about how I can get better at meeting people, since I kind of left my 20s, had one serious relationship in my early 30s, and then.... everything fizzled. I was generally told to be more open minded, that I may be "sick" (in the head), and that being lonely is normal.

I always thought things would get better (Time heals all, etc) just "being myself", but, I just focused on the Tickling. Or the fetlife with all the related things.

But I guess working really has pointed up to me how little I've been "living". The young prospects for girlfriends are now with children. People are older and less tolerant of each other's respective "shit".

I noticed it going on, and I thought "fuck, that's concerning", but then went back to thinking about the Tickling (or my hobbies, or movies, or games, etc).

But looking deeper and seeing how "normal" surroundings have built up around me makes me feel like I missed out. On children, getting married, etc. Like I'm "late" to wake up.

Anyone else feel this way? How did you deal?

This has been my regular broadcast.

 

[Vellication86]

My whole sexuality seems to be based on tickling and foot fetish kink so I was never really into conventional intercourse I guess. I met my wife young and never should have got married until I was in my 30's and tried to date more. That being said, I've had a lot of extramarital stuff going on over the years with women who were kinda into "my thing" and I should have married a partner like that. I also became obsessed with fetish porn in my early teens and I think that really screwed my mind from having developed a healthier sex life. I was always pretty withdrawn and lonely

 

[duderino84]

My whole sexuality seems to be based on tickling and foot fetish kink so I was never really into conventional intercourse I guess. I met my wife young and never should have got married until I was in my 30's and tried to date more. That being said, I've had a lot of extramarital stuff going on over the years with women who were kinda into "my thing" and I should have married a partner like that. I also became obsessed with fetish porn in my early teens and I think that really screwed my mind from having developed a healthier sex life. I was always pretty withdrawn and lonely

And that's one example I forgot. I'm the same. Hair or tickling. That's as deep as my sexual instinct goes. But a lot of women are just able to figure it out so much faster.

I actually remember how much sharing my kinks with people seemed at first like they'd accept it, and then get pissed off that I shared life through that lens (had every diss in the book thrown at me/ it).

I always heard the cliché "you'll find someone eventually", but I think I put myself though a trial by fire mode by just being me and not second-guessing.

 

[wolfman40]

No, I try not to dwell on things I can't control. I sometimes wish there was more of a scene when I was a young dude but shit happens.

I'm 48, and very much an older statesman, but I still try and keep involved, go to munches, events, chat with folk, make new friends.

Sometimes it's fun to be the old dude, not always, there's sometimes the fear, that you maybe thought of an old creepo or something.. but time waits for no one, whilst play is fun, it's not the be all and end all, the friendships I've cultivated over the last 20 years means more

 

[MindOverWhatMatters]

I’ve been very fortunate to find a partner in life that I love through and through. And we have been best friends for decades. For me, I don’t think the focus on my fetish has taken away from being able to do other things in life. I will say that I have been anxious and somewhat ashamed of my fetish for a long time. When I was a bit younger, I always thought it was weird and that I was the only who liked tickling. I think over the years, that isolated feeling has created a lot of anxiety and loneliness around my fetish experience. I have embraced it a little more now, but I was definitely too stuck in my head to enjoy it for so many years earlier. I am still closeted in that way, and haven’t had many play partners, I’ve never experienced conventions, and I was often too self-conscious to even tickle people casually. In that way, I do feel like I’ve missed out on quite a few things, because I was always so nervous and scared to embrace that part of myself. I’ve gotten better, but I can’t go back and change all of the experiences I wish I had earlier on. As my wife doesn’t have the fetish, I am pretty limited in the amount of tickling experiences I’m able to have.

 

[Zeezil]

I'm much older than you duderino, and I'm speaking from experience here: Find yourself a woman, and develop a deep, meaningful relationship with her, and marry her. Do it soon. Yes, life moves way faster as you get older, and next thing you know, you're in your last decade. And a tip: Don't focus on this fetish. Meet and connect with a woman for everything else first. If she has great feet (assuming you're into that) and is accepting of your fetish, and is ticklish, great bonus. But let this fetish be discovered naturally in the process of you developing a deep and meaningful relationship with her, never make it something you lead with, or even bring up the first (or second, or third) time you're intimate with her. Let her fall in love with you. And you fall in love with her. Let it be a "kink" and part of what makes you interesting to her, after all of the other things, not the first or early thing she knows about you. Go find your woman, she's out there. Treat her right, and she'll treat you right. Marry for love and connection and life compatibility and all those things. Don't let this fetish take over your life, because it can. Trust me, I know. I hope that helps. Good luck, my friend!

 

[duderino84]

I'm much older than you duderino, and I'm speaking from experience here: Find yourself a woman, and develop a deep, meaningful relationship with her, and marry her. Do it soon. Yes, life moves way faster as you get older, and next thing you know, you're in your last decade. And a tip: Don't focus on this fetish. Meet and connect with a woman for everything else first. If she has great feet (assuming you're into that) and is accepting of your fetish, and is ticklish, great bonus. But let this fetish be discovered naturally in the process of you developing a deep and meaningful relationship with her, never make it something you lead with, or even bring up the first (or second, or third) time you're intimate with her. Let her fall in love with you. And you fall in love with her. Let it be a "kink" and part of what makes you interesting to her, after all of the other things, not the first or early thing she knows about you. Go find your woman, she's out there. Treat her right, and she'll treat you right. Marry for love and connection and life compatibility and all those things. Don't let this fetish take over your life, because it can. Trust me, I know. I hope that helps. Good luck, my friend!

I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. No, age is no competition so I'm not going to treat it like that. Let me seriously frame the situation: regardless of tickling, most women that I am viewing online appear to take interest in anything other than minimalist small talk. As for public gatherings/ work discussion, I don't really see much going on other than greeting formalities.

I really don't connect with a lot of women on an emotional/ small talk level, so once you compare the tally sheet of mishaps to any imaginable benefit, it's hard to "fall in love" or "let her fall in love" from my perspective.

Everyone has their social clock ticking but they use it as more of a reason to not talk with people.

Onto tickling. As much as I want to strip it from my life sometimes, it's a crucial part of me. I never really grew up with an interest in intercourse/ anal.... oral came late, but tickling was sort of the first thing I discovered the most dominantly.

Some are more accepting than others...I don't know. Things are just hard to spell out and have accommodated.

A lot of what I've seen when it comes to women when emotions don't seem to be in play is a very transactional ("you eat my pussy, I'll ________) form of interaction.

So as much as I want to pretend everyone is so inviting and it's really just me being a horny gremlin getting in my own way, this problem is much deeper than it first appears.

 

[duderino84]

I’ve been very fortunate to find a partner in life that I love through and through. And we have been best friends for decades. For me, I don’t think the focus on my fetish has taken away from being able to do other things in life. I will say that I have been anxious and somewhat ashamed of my fetish for a long time. When I was a bit younger, I always thought it was weird and that I was the only who liked tickling. I think over the years, that isolated feeling has created a lot of anxiety and loneliness around my fetish experience. I have embraced it a little more now, but I was definitely too stuck in my head to enjoy it for so many years earlier. I am still closeted in that way, and haven’t had many play partners, I’ve never experienced conventions, and I was often too self-conscious to even tickle people casually. In that way, I do feel like I’ve missed out on quite a few things, because I was always so nervous and scared to embrace that part of myself. I’ve gotten better, but I can’t go back and change all of the experiences I wish I had earlier on. As my wife doesn’t have the fetish, I am pretty limited in the amount of tickling experiences I’m able to have.

When I used to have more opportunities, while occasionally I'd have a "wonder date" that would ghost, on other occasions I'd meet people who would try to be friendly, but I've had literally every derogatory thrown at me in terms of fetish because that's really the center of balance of my sexuality. Maybe I just don't get out enough, but when I was younger I was all about my local music scene, but I think maybe that added to some of the isolation (surrounded by loudspeakers instead of just myself).

 

[duderino84]

No, I try not to dwell on things I can't control. I sometimes wish there was more of a scene when I was a young dude but shit happens.

I'm 48, and very much an older statesman, but I still try and keep involved, go to munches, events, chat with folk, make new friends.

Sometimes it's fun to be the old dude, not always, there's sometimes the fear, that you maybe thought of an old creepo or something.. but time waits for no one, whilst play is fun, it's not the be all and end all, the friendships I've cultivated over the last 20 years means more

Yea..... I need to figure out how to make a tighter group of friends. Once all my bands dried up, so did the friends. Or they got married.

Fetlife expanded its scope but still you're looking at very small groups in very small places.

IDK dude I'm at least good at looking a decade younger than I actually am.

I'm not really afraid of being a creep... in a way this thing has taught me to savor that sensation.