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Do you feel your life is on track

Before my mom died, i used to wonder what if what if what if about many things in my life..and wished to change so many things..now i feel my life is on track..i can't change the past, so i'm not going to dwell on it in my conscious mind..my sub-conscious mind is another story all-together..if it weren't for my nightmares, i would be a happy person..but i soon forget those dreams in the day-light hours until it happens again...which isn't every night..

so yes all in all my life is on track..i'm as happy as i'll ever be..which is all i ask..
 
I think that it is pretty much human nature to want to go back and change things in the past. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and all that. We have an ego which tells us we should be more than what we are. This could be true or one could be doing the best possible given the cards they're dealt.

Personally, giving the cards I was dealt without going into detail I'm right about where I should be. Certainly I would go back and change some decisions, but I think I still would want my life even with the roller coaster ride. It's given me a full pool of experience to draw strength from. It's nice to say I've survived this and I am still sane. Yeah I'm sure I could be farther along if not for own procrastination, but still I'm not greedy and am actually quite humble in most respects. Provided the economy doesn't vaporize my job I'm actually quite content.

Specifically I would go back and change one event that has haunted me. When I was a kid back in grade school. I was a boy that was very shy around girls. I spent my life pretty much forcing myself to change that part of my personality going from the introvert to more of an extrovert. But I hadn't made that change back in grade school. This is probably the event which pissed me off enough to change myself.

There was girl which I liked named Isabel, had the biggest crush on her. Well it was recess and everybody was playing. I was hanging out with my friends when I heard some yelling. Some of my class mates were playing around with the boys grabbing the girls and carrying them to "jail". Around the back of the building was a little alley which connected to the back of the school. It was all in fun. Those girls were unceremoniously tossed into the alley like the apes rounding up the humans in the Planet of the Apes. My circle of guys was hanging around probably talking about GI Joe or Transformers or something to that extent. When displayed before my eyes not five away from me was Isabel crying to me specifically for help as she was being dragged off by two guys to girl prison. I demurred. Argh! Idiot! :rant: I was in a combination of shock and disbelief in what was before me. I just couldn't react. I've regretted that for a long time. LOL. :tired:
 
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My life is definitely not on track after recent events of losing a loved one. And I was really pushed over the edge yesterday when I found out that I'm hurting my boyfriend so much. I can't stand to see him sad. Especially if it's because of me.

So, naturally I would go back and change the fact that I have fucking exams this week so I could go to the funeral. Then I would change the fact that I keep hurting my boyfriend so much. I need to work on my issues. Then i would go back to when I was younger to stop my dad from mentally scarring me the way he did.

Maybe I would actually be NORMAL and not falling apart. I think I need a psychologist. Ahaha I'm so fucked up.
 
My life is definitely not on track after recent events of losing a loved one. And I was really pushed over the edge yesterday when I found out that I'm hurting my boyfriend so much. I can't stand to see him sad. Especially if it's because of me.

So, naturally I would go back and change the fact that I have fucking exams this week so I could go to the funeral. Then I would change the fact that I keep hurting my boyfriend so much. I need to work on my issues. Then i would go back to when I was younger to stop my dad from mentally scarring me the way he did.

Maybe I would actually be NORMAL and not falling apart. I think I need a psychologist. Ahaha I'm so fucked up.

I really hope things get better for you, girl. You seem like a nice sort, and the very fact that you realize some things and feel sorry for them means that you are willing to work on yourself and sort those things out. You're definitely NORMAL, there's nothing wrong with having a rough time under so much stress.

As for me, I have told myself ages ago: every decision I make will be such that, given the conditions that I am in, will be made so that I never look back and say 'why didn't/did I do it?'. I will have no regrets whatsoever to the paths I take, because I will always pick and do whatever seems best given the circumstances. I am doing that, and I haven't complained since.
 
Thanks Duke. Just hearing that makes me feel slightly better. I've just had a rough time for a while now and it gets tiring after a while. Things will eventually work out for me, I suppose.
 
this is a tough topic because the hollywood brother do not know if his hollywood brother life is on track or not or if it on the right track but it is what it is and it allows the hollywood brother to be your rock and roll tickle king. with this hollywood brother fact being said, then the hollywood brother got to guess that his hollywood brother life is going whatever way it is supposed to go
 
LOL... I just realized my post totally flies in the face of my sig pic. :weird: Ah well...
 
My life is definitely not on track after recent events of losing a loved one. And I was really pushed over the edge yesterday when I found out that I'm hurting my boyfriend so much. I can't stand to see him sad. Especially if it's because of me.

So, naturally I would go back and change the fact that I have fucking exams this week so I could go to the funeral. ...

If your boyfriend is worthy of being a boyfriend, he'll understand what you're going through.

And if the school you're at doesn't let you take the fucking exams later on, due to your bereavement, go straight to the registrar's office and demand every cent of your tuition money back. No, I'm not joking. If they want to be that heartless and mindless, the hell with them.

As for myself, the short version of my own story would be that after being derailed for far, far too long, I've finally gotten my train back on the rails, so to speak. Not sure if the track I'm on leads where I want it to go, but as long as I get away from where I was until not too long ago, I don't care that much! Sometimes I wish I could go back and re-do the formative years of my earthly existence. And I know that isn't possible. I do occasionally dwell on roads not taken, potential lovers not loved, aspirations left on the shelf. Mostly I try to do as you do, Duke, and remind myself that I did the best I could with what I had at the time. And do whatever I can to make my present and future better than my past, which it largely is.
 
Thanks Duke. Just hearing that makes me feel slightly better. I've just had a rough time for a while now and it gets tiring after a while. Things will eventually work out for me, I suppose.

Well, if you ever wish to talk about it, or just need to unload somewhere, I'm here. Feel free to contact me. *pats on the back*
 
I was asked "what do you want to be when you grow up" ?
I said "Bigger", My bigger is going in the opposite direction.
My job situation sucks, I wondered if there is a paid position for "master debater",
I was told to go ask the smiling blind man.
Then not to quit my day job... I work graveyard shifts.

J😛aw:

Yeah, Killed another thread !
 
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