Does my partner share my fetish?

[Supergirl]

I've been dating this great guy for several months, and it's going great, but I have a problem. I'm into tickling, and tickling him *really* turns me on. I've been observing him and I think he really enjoy being a lee, but I'm not sure and I don't want to spoil things with him in case I'm reading into it.

He told me his older brothers used to pin him down and tickle his ribs til he peed himself when he was kid, so I would have thought he'd hate being tickled. He is really ticklish in many places; armpits, ribs, feet, pelvis, and he's let me tickle him everywhere. He even seems to egg me on to tickle him sometimes, like teasing me about stuff. He sort of struggles when I tickle him, but he doesn't really try to get out of it unless I'm in a *really* ticklish spot. He'll even prompt me if I ask him, telling me where it's more ticklish. I asked him what he likes the other day and he said after thinking for a few minutes "I guess I do like when you tickle me, despite all my protests." (He actually said those exact words, without any prompting from me.)

I don't think he's aware of tickling as a fetish, but I think he might really enjoy being a lee. So I guess my question is, does he sound like he might enjoy being a lee, and how could I broach the subject without risking freaking him out?

 

[hazelf1]

Hard one to answer but most people don't admit to having a tickle fetish or any other fetish for that matter, the fact he has said so much already is a sign he trusts you.

Just play it by ear people have posted these type of questions on here before and the variety of answers will give a guide as to what your next step should be, my advice don't go bull at a gate skirt round it, and play it by ear.

My current partner is not the slightest bit ticklish, she is far from vanilla but just not into tickling in any shape or form, she is bi like me and into bondage, and the rest is private.

Good luck with him you could be on to a winner if he is going to be into our fetish.

 

[Candis19]

If he's let you tickle him so much it's a good sign that he probably enjoys it...If he didn't than I'm certain he would tell you...I mean, he clearly likes you and what you do, and since he hasn't you know...said he didn't like it, he must like it...Plus you tickle him so much anyway...he may even already know you got a fetish for it...

I wouldn't say for you to just completely tell him...I mean unless you want to...if he really cares about you I'm certain he won't mind...maybe he'll even like it. 🙂 I mean, the thing that you 2 do the most, drastically turns you on...he would have to be gay to run away from that...

Just don't be head first about telling him...I say give it time and keep going...as time goes you 2 will probably get even more comfortable with all the tickling and it will be easy to ask or tell him.. 🙂 That's what I think anyway...

 

[Slaver123]

I've been dating this great guy for several months, and it's going great, but I have a problem. I'm into tickling, and tickling him *really* turns me on. I've been observing him and I think he really enjoy being a lee, but I'm not sure and I don't want to spoil things with him in case I'm reading into it.

He told me his older brothers used to pin him down and tickle his ribs til he peed himself when he was kid, so I would have thought he'd hate being tickled. He is really ticklish in many places; armpits, ribs, feet, pelvis, and he's let me tickle him everywhere. He even seems to egg me on to tickle him sometimes, like teasing me about stuff. He sort of struggles when I tickle him, but he doesn't really try to get out of it unless I'm in a *really* ticklish spot. He'll even prompt me if I ask him, telling me where it's more ticklish. I asked him what he likes the other day and he said after thinking for a few minutes "I guess I do like when you tickle me, despite all my protests." (He actually said those exact words, without any prompting from me.)

I don't think he's aware of tickling as a fetish, but I think he might really enjoy being a lee. So I guess my question is, does he sound like he might enjoy being a lee, and how could I broach the subject without risking freaking him out?

Easiest thing in the world- just ASK at the right time, maybe in a sultry voice; "You know what would really turn me on?" then strap his arms and/or legs to the bedposts and start tickling the crap outta him. Sounds like he loves it already. Maybe he doesn't think of it as a "tickle fetish" and maybe you never need to define it with that exact phrase, but if it turns YOU on he'll almost certainly go for it.

 

[sweetpiggy221]

I agree with everyone hun. It seems like he enjoys being tickled by you and enjoy your time together so I would say just enjoy it. You don't have to go into the whole topic of the fetish and everything. Why try to complicate things when things are going so well? My sub/bf play alot with BDSM and I introduce him with tickling. He has a love/hate being tied and tickled. I don't push the issue with him about it and turns to find out he started checking out more about tickling such as going on TMF and on here to learn more about our fetish.

 

[Inverse]

If he really cares for you, and it~ I'd start less with asking him what he thinks about tickling, and admitting to him first what you think about tickling. Knowing what turns on your partner can help the two of you get closer.

Even if it's not a fetish now, knowing it's one for you can help him see it as such easier. I know I didn't have a thing for socks many years ago, until someone I cared for shared her love of socks to me. Now I notice them everywhere I go~ it's perspective.

You'll open his mind, and hopefully, his heart. For all you know, a love of tickling is one of his deepest secrets... but it's difficult for people to admit their love of tickling, especially boys~ since being tickled can make men feel submissive and some resist that for some reason or the other. You might rock his world. <3

 

[sadi]

Here's a (what I think is one of THE most important) questions: does it matter?

You've already stated yourself that he admits he likes tickling, even though he protests and halfheartedly struggles. You like it, and he 'obviously' likes it to some extent, so does it 'really' matter if he considers it under the label of "fetish" or not? If anything, an instance when you two are acting more "in the mood" or even an instance of when you're tickling him, if you deem it appropriate, tell him you really like tickling him. Leaving it that vague, he'll likely press you for more details and, there's your opening. And, even if he does get a little scared of the "fetish" word, just say that it doesn't stop you from tickling the living crap out of him, still! 😉

Just my laymen advice. Take it with a liberal grain of salt if you wish. :happy:

 

[Candis19]

Here's a (what I think is one of THE most important) questions: does it matter?

You've already stated yourself that he admits he likes tickling, even though he protests and halfheartedly struggles. You like it, and he 'obviously' likes it to some extent, so does it 'really' matter if he considers it under the label of "fetish" or not? If anything, an instance when you two are acting more "in the mood" or even an instance of when you're tickling him, if you deem it appropriate, tell him you really like tickling him. Leaving it that vague, he'll likely press you for more details and, there's your opening. And, even if he does get a little scared of the "fetish" word, just say that it doesn't stop you from tickling the living crap out of him, still! 😉

Just my laymen advice. Take it with a liberal grain of salt if you wish. :happy:

Ah...the "Bait and Reel" strategy...

 

[tkl]

Next step?

Given his statement "I guess I do like when you tickle me, despite all my protests.", you already know that tickling can be a part of your relationship. That's nice. I wonder if you're trying to decide about moving on to including a bondage component, since for most of us the power game is part of the excitement of tickling. Opening that topic with a man can be tricky and potentially disturbing, especially if you are asking him to take the submissive role, so this is where you should be very careful in the conversation. Perhaps you could say something indirect like: "I'd love to be able to tickle you without having to work so hard to keep you from fighting me off" and see what he says/does with that. Good luck moving the process along and be sure to appreciate what you already have going together!

 

[paracarl44]

Keep on tickling him for the time being and don't push the subject of fetish.

 

[emotickler1400]

maybe if u talk about it thn agian thats just me , me and girl :coolthumbup

 

[tkl]

So Supergirl ...

What do you think about the advice folks have offered you?
What do you plan to do next?

 

[heideggerm2]

Tickling my Girlfriend

My girlfriend has known about my tickling fetish since we first started talking. The topic came up when we were discussing what we each enjoy doing (sexually and otherwise). She has extremely sensitive, VERY ticklish feet and initially was not sure if she could get into the idea of being tied up and tickled. The bondage wasn't an issue, but the tickling was.

Even though she initially said that she could not stand being foot tickled, over time she has "warmed up" to the idea. One thing that helped ease her into it was role-playing scenarios before being tickled. She is quite an actress (non-professional) and can get into character very quickly. I also found that sucking on her toes helped ease her into the whole foot tickling thing.

 

[Supergirl]

Update

Well, since first posting this thread, I've kept up just tickling him every so often and things are going great. He definitely likes it, and he knows that I like it too. I've told him that it turns me on when I get to tickle him, so I think that's another reason why he lets me. He still teases me in a friendly way to get me to tickle him, moreso as time goes on.

Bondage will probably not happen, as he's mentioned in another convo that he would never want to use bondage, props, etc, but that's OK.

I've noticed that he seems to really like my feet. Since we started dating, he's often touched my feet, even just standing next to me while I'm sitting at the computer if I'm barefoot or wearing sandals. He kisses my toes often without provocation too. He's told me that I have "pretty feet" and I finally let him start giving me foot rubs a few weeks ago (my feet are super ticklish and I've always been nervous to let people touch my feet much) and I'll just say, they definitely agree with him. I want to indulge him in this interest as much as he wants, but at the same time, I'm not sure if he thinks of this as a "fetish" either, or if he'd be ashamed of it if he thought it was.

 

[Candis19]

If he kissed your toes then he clearly has a fetish in it. Good work on the progress so far though!

 

[sadi]

Hm. Interesting update.

On the 'foot' issue, again, I'd just 'go with the flow', sort of, and try to indulge him as much as possible (especially if you enjoy it - or it can give you another excuse to tickle him more 😉 😱 That ti-ickles! Ohh, I'm gonna' getchu'! :evil: <- or something like that :stickout). Again, it's just a word; why the need to label everything? You might say 'to-mate-oe', I might say 'to-maht-oe'. Just because you have different views on the issue doesn't necessarily mean one's wrong or right on the issue.



Again, only my lay men's advice. Salt should be liberally applied if so desired. 😀

 

[tkl]

The use of the word "fetish" is interesting in this conversation (and others on this forum). In the professional psych arena, the word is only used to reference an interest that is so consuming that it interferes with having a relationship with a whole person. So for example, if someone is ONLY interested in another person because they have nice feet, or if someone can ONLY be sexually aroused by tickling or bondage, then they could be described as having a fetish. Other than that, it's just something that is exciting to a person and should not be labeled with a clinical (and slightly deviant) word. Labeling as a fetish can make some people uncomfortable or guilty about their interests and interfere with their satisfying pursuit of what they want. SuperGirl is a great example of someone doing her thing in a nice positive way in a relationship, and we can all follow her lead!

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Girl- tell him already! LOL

Guys love nothing more than when something they are doing turns a girl on!
Just tell him that you really REALLY love it when you tickle him. (Chances are, he already knows it gets you wet!) Guys tend to know these things too. So- I don't think it would be a big deal.

BUT- HOWEVER- If he feels like this is something special, unique, and something you are only into because it is him, he might feel a little sad that it could be any hot guy tied up (that you are into), and you would feel the same way (unless I am assuming incorrectly). If you are worried about that, do what I used to do when I was dating. Tell him that you love tickling a lot, and it is just such a turn on tickling him all over his body. In a couple of weeks or so, ask him how he really feels about you tickling him. Ask him about some things he might be into- fetishes etc.... and if you feel comfortable, share this with him.

IMO- It is so much easier for a girl- I talked about fetishes with several male friends, and they were cool about it. And every single guy I dated who I told I was into tickling, tickled me- a lot. Every one! (Not all of them let me return the favor though... lol)

 

[Mash]

Guys love nothing more than when something they are doing turns a girl on!
Just tell him that you really REALLY love it when you tickle him. (Chances are, he already knows it gets you wet!) Guys tend to know these things too. So- I don't think it would be a big deal.

Hah, well, you have it mostly right.

You give guys far too much credit, however.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Hah, well, you have it mostly right.

You give guys far too much credit, however.

LOL... ok, I guess the guys I dated were very intuitive. They always knew when I was getting turned on. OR maybe I was obvious. LOL :stickout

 

[tkl]

How are things going with your tickling relationship, Supergirl? Can you give us an update? Curious minds want to know!

 

[Adam Tickles]

x

How are things going with your tickling relationship, Supergirl? Can you give us an update? Curious minds want to know!

Agreed, ive just seen this thread and want to hear the outcome 🙂... It would be great if you both find u have tickling/foot fetish. Wat luck for u 🙂 I think many a person on here will envy if your luck keeps going ! 🙂
🙂😢huhrolleyes🙄lol