Double Poem

[11225]

It's not often I share something like this, for I never want to show off my work. But something came up and I think it's worth showing.

Poem #1: Strong vs Weak

Kindness is the key
that can make you feel good
it's one of the strength
that lights the mood

You come upon those
that are honest but positive
It makes one feel strong
when they are not negative

But not everyday
you find someone like that
for they are some
that acts like a mean rat

You sometime encounter
people that tend to troll
and they always think
they are on a roll

But when one be negative
without a good reason to seek
Then that can make you
the weakest of the weak

You can also feel weak
when you bully them as well
and there's much more of that
but that I won't tell

So start strong
and stay true
But don't be mean
or they will make you feel blue

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Poem #2: What makes one weak

What I'm about to tell you
can be false or true
You just need to know
what you will think two

You find someone weak
that's being harsh to trolls
You may find that recklesss
but at least your not a dark soul

When you troll the trolls
you're defending your friends
It's actually a good thing
to be with them till the end

You can also defend others
even if you just met one
you just need to be sure
that some problem had just begun

Now if you start to troll
to those that even did something nice
Then you're just being a jerk
who is indeed weak

You pick on the innocent
even if they did nothing wrong
you think you're high and mighty
but that won't make you strong

You must learn
And you must remember
when you consider their feeling
then you're the strongest of a staff member

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


That's all the poem I made today. I hope you like it.

 

[Rox_My_Sox1]

Roses are red.

Violet are blue.

I HATE RHYMING!

ZEBRA!

 

[FeatherDaemon1]

sweet nectar of grape
you are my wench of disgrace
where did my pants go

:54:


http://www.drunkenhaiku.com/haiku.php?id=10000000000000002509

 

[11225]

XD Perhaps this should be the Poem Thread since the two of you decided to make your own.

 

[Smoten]

Anti-trolling-for-the-sake-of-trolling-on-the-internets poetry...

Huh.

As far as the poems go, if you can accept some constructive criticism, I think you either made some very odd choices of words on a fairly consistent basis throughout both pieces or at times you clearly implied you meant to say different words entirely in order to maintain grammatic cohesion. Perhaps a little of column a and a little column b, but on the whole, you managed to distinctly get your point across and more or less conveyed your moral agenda in a positive light. I'd give it a solid B.

 

[11225]

Anti-trolling-for-the-sake-of-trolling-on-the-internets poetry...

Huh.

As far as the poems go, if you can accept some constructive criticism, I think you either made some very odd choices of words on a fairly consistent basis throughout both pieces or at times you clearly implied you meant to say different words entirely in order to maintain grammatic cohesion. Perhaps a little of column a and a little column b, but on the whole, you managed to distinctly get your point across and more or less conveyed your moral agenda in a positive light. I'd give it a solid B.

A solid B, huh? Sounds pretty fair when you put it like that. Honestly it's not always easy for me to find a better word to make it rhyme for some reason. I'm not really sure what you're saying but I think something tells me that you need me to work on my poem to make it better, right? :huh

 

[Smoten]

If you'd like. To me, the poems seemed off beat, but then again that might have been your intent. At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide whether or not you feel if my opinion holds any merit and choose to act upon it. I was just giving you an honest evaluation of your writing skills in hopes you might find areas in which to improve your works in the future. The more you keep at it, the better you get.

Cheers.🙂

 

[11225]

Thanks for your opinion. I'll be sure to think about that.