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dubya and the queen have tea

t s s

TMF Expert
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While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb sh*t, it's Tony Blair!"
 
Just for you lime.......

In the light of all the criticism that George Bush is an idiot, the Republicans decide to hold a "George Bush Is Not Stupid" convention. Eighty thousand Republicans meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium.
Trent Lott says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that George Bush is not stupid. So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce President George Bush."

After the cheers die down. Lott says "Mr. President, we're going to prove to the world once and for all that you are not stupid. So tell us, what is 15 plus 15?"

Bush, after scrunching up his face and concentrating real hard for a moment, declares, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the 80,000 Republicans start cheering, "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"

Trent Lott says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place, I guess we can do that." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds of chin-rubbing and grimacing, Bush meekly asks "Ninety?"

Trent Lott is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened.

But then Bush starts pouting, and suddenly the 80,000 Republicans begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting again "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"

Lott, unsure whether he's doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

Bush looks down, counts on his fingers, and after a whole minute, proudly announces "Four."

A moment of total silence, then an electric charge surges through the stadium as pandemonium breaks out.

All 80,000 Republicans jump to their feet.

These GOP partisans start to wave their arms, stomp their feet and create a deafening roar:

"GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE!"
 
You gotta wonder why Bush is actually in power. Heh heh, good ones, venray and geordie-boy!
 
I always like that time Dubya was talking about his and Tony Blergh's kids getting drunk in public and shaming their famous fathers.

"Me and the Prime Minister we got our kids in common, going out and getting all intoxificated."

Then there was Dubya's considered thoughts on the US education system.

"What we gotta ask ourselves is, is our children learning?" 🙄

Of course his father was quite bitter, because Hilary Clinton won the 92 election for her husband. You know how she did it? She shaved her fanny!!!

*note to all uneducated colonials reading this - a "fanny" in English slang means the 'pussy' that you chaps so like to call it, not the arse*

You can laugh and raise your eyebrows, but I swear it's true! Hilary Clinton shaved her pussy and it won Bill the 92 election. All she had to do was tour the US, holding her skirt up and saying...........

"Read my lips, who needs Bush?"
 
It's about time we had some Bush jokes around here! Thanks, t s s, Ray, and Jim. Those were funny! 🙂
 
grippedchimp said:
You gotta wonder why Bush is actually in power. Heh heh, good ones, venray and geordie-boy!

'cause blokes like me voted him in mate!....Just 'cause I joke here and there doesn't mean I dont like him.....😉
 
amk714 said:
It's about time we had some Bush jokes around here! Thanks, t s s, Ray, and Jim. Those were funny! 🙂

Don't worry Alexander...I haven't given up poking fun at the Democrats...(they're too easy).....

election2004.gif
 
Does it make any difference who anyone votes for, really? They're all smegging Bilderbergers.
 
venray1 said:


'cause blokes like me voted him in mate!....Just 'cause I joke here and there doesn't mean I dont like him.....😉


Ray's a Clinton Killer?!?!?!?!?!


Oh my God, just lay me down............. :sadcry: 😛
 
Twas more of a Gore killer...he invented the internet you know.....😛
 
i`d argue with your politics ven but you`d probably use your uzi...ak47...sam launcher on me:wow: ,lol,either that or set your kkk buddies on me or cull some seals😱 ......😉 😉 😀😀 😛 😛 as clinton said to the pretty intern....just fuckin` wid ya,lol.😉
 
t s s said:
p as clinton said to the pretty intern....just fuckin` wid ya,lol.😉

He said that to a pretty intern? So what did he say to Monica Lewinski?
 
honest hun....you look real pretty with that bag over your head....😀 😉 😛 😱
 
BigJim said:
Does it make any difference who anyone votes for, really? They're all smegging Bilderbergers.

I would agree! Bilderbergers every one of 'em!


(??????)
 
Oddjob0226 said:


I would agree! Bilderbergers every one of 'em!


(??????)

Bilderberg Group: Private organisation of high ranking political, military, financial and media officials. Often crosses over with the Trilateral Commission, Council On Foreign Relations, Royal Institute Of International Affairs and The Sacred Scottish Rite Of Freemasonry. (31st, 32nd and 33rd degrees only as a rule.)
Innaugurated in 1954.
 
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