Emotional Vampires

[Bohemianne]

In your life, have you been sucked by them without you being aware of it? If you are aware, how do you deal with them in a constructive manner?

 

[milagros317]

In your life, have you been sucked by them without you being aware of it? If you are aware, how do you deal with them in a constructive manner?

I have not found a way to deal with them constructively. I cut off all relations with them.

The worst such case was a cousin of mine. He was an extreme emotional vampire and caused me great distress in 1980, more than his usual "always take, never give" behavior. I never met nor spoke to him again. I did not attend his funeral in 1999. IMO that is the best way to deal with such blood-suckers.

 

[Gothika]

i try and stay away from them

 

[General Zod]

I have not found a way to deal with them constructively. I cut off all relations with them.

The worst such case was a cousin of mine. He was an extreme emotional vampire and caused me great distress in 1980, more than his usual "always take, never give" behavior. I never met nor spoke to him again. I did not attend his funeral in 1999. IMO that is the best way to deal with such blood-suckers.

^
This.
There are people from my past I have not talked to since 1984. I do not wish anything bad to happen to them.But I will not deal with them. It is the only way I can stay out of jail.

 

[kis123]

I just lost a cousin to the same; we haven't spoken in a month. Although I miss her, I was tired of the drama, criticism, complaining, and always having to cater to her or listen to how horrible a person I was. If I'm that damn bad, ya' don't need to be talking to me anyway.

Another friend of mine is on pending; all she does is get herself into one mess after the other and wants sympathy and someone to basically lie to her and say she's not responsible for her self-inflicted drama. Needless to say, I'm not the one.....

I guess it's purging time.

 

[dazed]

Backing away from people who are just using you is one way. There here's an idea (very new agey, so apologies in advance) for people in our lives we can do that with.

An emotional vampire can be thought of as someone who drains energy from our energy field. One way of dealing with them is to stop the flow by subtly creating a circuit by putting your feet together and hands/fingers together-you can do this while sitting by casually letting one leg cross another and holding your hands in your lap while chatting. This really seems to work. People can also drain you on the phone so you can do the same then.

I forget to do this and often get most drained having someone talking at me about themselves for ages.

 

[Bohemianne]

Thanks for the reply, folks. I've encountered different forms of emotional vampires in my life. A few of them seem to make me feel like I "owe" them without even saying so. Then I have also known someone who brainwashed herself that it is a necessity to vent an instant heavy emotion (say anger) or she will explode and have painful chest. I believe that the line: "energy can be transformed," also applies to emotion. Perhaps I fail, but a lot of times I tried hard putting most of my heavy emotions in my hobbies instead of telling a friend.

 

[DimpleToes]

Backing away from people who are just using you is one way. There here's an idea (very new agey, so apologies in advance) for people in our lives we can do that with.

An emotional vampire can be thought of as someone who drains energy from our energy field. One way of dealing with them is to stop the flow by subtly creating a circuit by putting your feet together and hands/fingers together-you can do this while sitting by casually letting one leg cross another and holding your hands in your lap while chatting. This really seems to work. People can also drain you on the phone so you can do the same then.

I forget to do this and often get most drained having someone talking at me about themselves for ages.

Does crossing your legs and hands really work.. what is the reasin gbehind this?

 

[Speedbump]

Emotional vampire means using your emotions to get stuff out of you?

I've never heard that term before. So far I don't think I've ever encountered more than one... everyone I know seems to give as well as receive. There's this one girl my mom knows who is a thief, stole from me AND my mom, will ask my mom for drives to places saying "I'll give gas money", then when they get there, she'll be like, "oh shit, I musta forgot it" and my mom is too forgiving. I geuss that's the kind of person this thread is about. In that case, I bitched at her and told her to get the fuck out of the house and to never come close again, and my mom agreed with that, she just helps her out away from me now. lol

 

[kopfhorer]

I think I have an idea of what an emotional vampire is, but I'm not certain.

My most recent ex is a smart, friendly person who by her own admission is a nonstop talker, talking about herself and barely letting me comment on what she's talking about. She can also get bossy and demanding. But as unpleasant as that was, I'm thinking she's not quite an emotional vampire.

I was also briefly (but not briefly enough) involved with a nice-acting but rather selfish woman. She was all cuddles and hugs, was smart, a good listener, great at conversation and a joy to be with in bed - until it came down to my needs. At that point, she always seemed to "have a headache".

As unpleasant as these experiences were, I'm thinking that an emotional vampire would be someone who emotionally drains and manipulates you via guilt, drama, etc. into doing or giving stuff you wouldn't otherwise.

Have I got my definition straight?

 

[Bohemianne]

Emotional vampire means using your emotions to get stuff out of you?

I've never heard that term before. So far I don't think I've ever encountered more than one... everyone I know seems to give as well as receive. There's this one girl my mom knows who is a thief, stole from me AND my mom, will ask my mom for drives to places saying "I'll give gas money", then when they get there, she'll be like, "oh shit, I musta forgot it" and my mom is too forgiving. I geuss that's the kind of person this thread is about. In that case, I bitched at her and told her to get the fuck out of the house and to never come close again, and my mom agreed with that, she just helps her out away from me now. lol

An emotional vampire is someone who drains your energy. You interact with the person and afterwards, you feel exhausted and totally consumed like a piece of prune. A perfect example is someone who does nothing but make you shock absorb their day to day misfortune. It is implied that you give attention to this person OR he might harm himself. At times, the "miserable" person is not aware that he succeeded in plucking your conscience in a harmful manner. Now, your example of a thief is another...

I think I have an idea of what an emotional vampire is, but I'm not certain.

My most recent ex is a smart, friendly person who by her own admission is a nonstop talker, talking about herself and barely letting me comment on what she's talking about. She can also get bossy and demanding. But as unpleasant as that was, I'm thinking she's not quite an emotional vampire.

I was also briefly (but not briefly enough) involved with a nice-acting but rather selfish woman. She was all cuddles and hugs, was smart, a good listener, great at conversation and a joy to be with in bed - until it came down to my needs. At that point, she always seemed to "have a headache".

As unpleasant as these experiences were, I'm thinking that an emotional vampire would be someone who emotionally drains and manipulates you via guilt, drama, etc. into doing or giving stuff you wouldn't otherwise.

Have I got my definition straight?

Yes. Uh, I am not really posting this thread to correct anything that you think wrong. Nope, I am not expert on this topic but only observing some attitudes of various people and I want to exchange experiences. I can see you gave a solid example. At times it is hard to see the boundary of emotions. But when a person has a personality disorder, then he/she for sure can be an emotional vampire.