Experiences and some advice for the guys here

[P_Bustleton]

Some of the things I discuss below have been talked about ad nauseum here in the recent and distant past. I hope, after many years of lurking, I can still contribute something to the community. (OK, I was active a few years back for about a month. I even won trivia one week.)

My philosophy professor, on the first day of class, spoke about the debate of whether human sensation is universal (whether colors really look the same to everyone, etc.). One argument she half-jokingly brought against the notion of universal sensation was this: "There are some people who hate being tickled. Absolutely hate it. Are they feeling the same thing I am?"
During a later lecture, we were discussing the relationship between utilitarianism (least pain for the greatest number) and the pleasure principle (the desire to avoid pain and experience immediate pleasure), she posed the question, "why doesn't someone just build a tickle machine for everybody?" As an engineering student, I replied, in jest(?), "I'm working on it." 🙂

But this post is not about my philosophy professor (sorry, I never fantasized about her, though I wouldn't mind if my future wife looked like her when she's 55). Clearly, tickling is something a lot of people enjoy. At one college there's a Facebook group called "Tickle Me And I'll Kill You," for people who hate being tickled. Their stated assumption is that many people like it.

And obviously, tickling is not just pleaurable, but sexual for many people: mostly guys who are members of this forum, and likely many, many women you'll never meet here!

I've had a tickle fetish since I was a little kid and tickling is a major part of my sexuality - I gather this is true for most of the people here. When I first got into a serious relationship I was very shy about my fetish, but when I told my girlfriend she was really cool about it. She didn't love being tickled, but she certainly didn't hate it. And she happened to be a pretty good tickler, even discovering spots I had no idea were ticklish. 🙂 However, our relationship was long-distance so we didn't get to do much. 🙁

My experience with my most recent girlfriend was both more fascinating and encouraging. We broke up about 2 months ago, but while we were together, a whole lot of tickling went on. She happens to be so ticklish that I was able to discover her ticklishness accidentally while brushing my hand across her lower back. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. It quickly became clear she loved to be tickled, even though she sometimes couldn't bear it. It was a big turn-on for her, but I wasn't sure how big. Once while we were fooling around I asked her to rate various things I was doing on a scale of 1 to 10, in terms of causing arousal. My personal favorite tickling method, holding her wrist above her head with one hand and stroking from her elbow down through her armpit with the other, scored a 9 out of 10! There wasn't much else she liked more...

Female sexuality is obviously very, very different from the male variety. But it's natural to project feelings and thought processes (we simulate the agency of others, to bring up philosophy again). The point is, that although my girlfriend was highly aroused by being tickled, she did not consider it a fetish, or even an "interest." She never thought to look for men on the Internet who would tickle her insane, whether in a relationship or just for fun. Maybe she was just naive, but she had no idea about all the stuff guys are into. I explained to her material fetishes, BDSM and other "deviant" activities. I definitely made mine seem pretty innocuous in comparison. She was fascinated by this very male-oriented field. And she definitely appreciated my contribution! Even now that we've broken up, we can talk about it openly. It's really great to be able to do that.

Max Speer (a favorite author of mine in my developmental years - the tickle machine from Kittletown was the first thing that came to my mind during that lecture) has said that most women he's met like being tickled, and that they enjoy the control it gives them over him. The preponderance of men in this forum, I believe, is not because more men like tickling - it's because of the different nature of female sexuality (more psychological factors in arousal, importance of safety, etc.). Now, I know I'm generalizing and there are plenty of women here who have genuine fetishes similar to the kind men have. But I'm confident there are countless more out there who enjoy being tickled (and tickling) but need to be engaged on a deeper level first. My advice to you guys who are looking for 'lees (and 'lers): don't be afraid - try to meet women through conventional means, and be open about your preferences! You may find yourselves in a very favorable situation...

For those teenagers here (like the home page really deters you): you're very lucky. You have a fetish that doesn't (usually) involve hurting people, changing your or anybody else's appearance, or handling or consuming bodily waste. It's tickling, and it's fun. At first I thought my sexuality was all about tickling, but I was surprised to find I really liked a lot of "vanilla" things once I tried them. A psychologist I talked to last summer told me it's very common for sexuality to be quite limited until you actually get experience. So don't worry so much; you'll be OK!

-Paul

 

[P_Bustleton]

No views after a day and a half? Should have called it "Anyone looking for a 18-24f 'lee?"

 

[Barlow]

I read it after you posted it; maybe something is wrong with the site.

Barlow

 

[lk70]

LOL. 18-24f lee indeed. Actually for whatever reason, this didn't show up as unread for me until just now when you bumped it. Maybe lots of people missed it for that reason.

Now I'm speaking from the female perspective, and probably as one of those females who's a bit more "male oriented" in my views on sexuality, but despite not fitting your generalization, I'd agree with you anyway.

I had made a pretty firm commitment to meet only people from here for play and whatever might lead from it. It just seemed easier than having to try to communicate the whole thing to a "vanilla" person. Then I went and met someone not from here, without even looking to, and I had to either fess up to it all or suppress it like I did for my entire marriage. Having already decided there would be NO MORE SUPPRESSING, I fessed up. Guess what? It's worked out JUST FINE.

A dear friend of mine from this forum, who listened to me agonize about coming out of the tickling closet to this guy, told me that he thinks we tkphiles place too much importance on it- moreso than your average person- and if we'd just relax about it we'd more than likely find that most people won't think it's a big deal.

I think your advice is excellent.

 

[Bugman]

I just now saw this to.I found it to be very interesting,but i won't comment further because i don't think i can add anything of substance.

 

[aun_existe_amor]

Yep, very interesting read. 🙂

 

[Stugots]

To add to these ideas, I believe that how you communicate tickling to a woman is an important factor in her liking tickling or not.

 

[hiltopoius]

very interesting indeed

This is one of the most interesting post i have read on the forum......It just opened a new door for me on how other people think...

 

[AffectionateDan]

Yes, there IS something wrong with the 'Views' counter, and it's being worked on.

In the meantime, EXCELLENT post! Great share!

 

[siamese dream]

good post, and I agree that especially some of the tickle-craving men on here that never get to meet any girls should keep an open mind toward meeting a woman the old-fashioned way who would like being tickled, and understand the turn-on, even if she has never perused a site such as this.

I'm a woman and have felt the same way you described about tickling since I was very young, too young to really understand my feelings and why I had them. I guess I wouldn't say it's a 'fetish' exactly because I can be aroused and climax without it, but it does turn me on more than anything else. So it's close enough 😉 I might be unusual for exploring this interest on the internet from a very young age, I think I first discovered the tickling sites when I was 14, and back then, I mostly just wanted to talk to people and better understand where my feelings came from, and I was also genuinely interested in knowing how other people felt about it, and knowing that other people felt the same way I do.

I have met a couple guys from the TMF for tickling, and while it was fun, I always had more fun and incredible sexual experiences involving tickling with boyfriends who weren't necessarily into it themselves, but knew that I was. I was simply more comfortable with them, because I had known them for a long time, and the TMF guys were just one-time meetings.

I agree with lk70, I think sometimes we place too much importance on what others will think, when really it's not a very strange thing to like tickling, and I've never had a bad reaction from anyone I told myself. Most of them thought it was cute actually. I know sometimes guys have more trouble getting women to think they're various kinks are enjoyable, but trust me, there ARE open-minded women out there who'll love your turn-ons, however strange you might see them as 🙂

 

[Em Es]

Maybe it depends . . .

Maybe it depends on the reaction a male tickler gets when first confessing his tickling enthusiasm to woman. If she's cool about it, then it will encourage the guy to be open with others. But if she laughs at or scorns it, the poor tickler may never again tell a lady, "I like to tickle."