Fetish Complex

[BlackFeather51]

Well... I don't know how to start, I just had so much things inside of me I just wanted to shout. First of all, sorry if my english isn't so well, i haven't writen an english text that long for years. Maybe this isn't the right section to talk about this, but i haven't found anyone better.

I have 20 years, i've found I had a tickle fetish at 15, that means five years, five years so painfull for me, but that finally ends. The point is when I have found i have a fetish, i got a complex... I couldn't understand that it wasn't any strange, i saw myself like a pervert, an insane who thinks in tie and tickle girls, i couldn't see myself as a normal person. Someday in a tickling forum (I think it was this forum itself) made a public poll, that asked what would you do if you could stop having your fetish, and most of the people (myself included) voted "yes". That's the reason I think there are more people suffering the same complex thar I suffered. That why I wanted to make this post, if i'm not wrong and there are more people like me I want to help them.

There are to many tips I can do that helped me a lot, and an explanation for each one so you can relly on WHY i say everything I say.

1: I will start by something that it obvius, but it's the most important. If nobody knows about your fetish, go tell somebody. There are some friends you know they will accept you without prejudices. If when you feel bad about your fetish you have nobody to talk about, you're over. I know it's hard, i really have to exert to tell my secret to someone. My hands shake while i'm writing, and until the last second i don't know what will they think of me... but trust me, at the end they ALLWAYS made me feel better,

2: This is maybe the most stupid thing i made related to my fetish, and if someone of you is doing it, stop doing this just right now. Never never never NEVER tag yourself as rare, unnormal, freak, insane, or everything. I couldn't call myself normal before, I was just sitting everyday to hear the song "monster" (by Imagine Dragons) feeling identified with every single word of the song... WRONG!!!! we are normal!!!! We just have some fantasies that other people don't share. so? where's is your problem? It's just your private life, and you should NEVER feel bad about your private life.

3: Never hold yourself. You are with a friend, a nice and cute friend, and you feel the impulse of tickle her (or him, i just said "her" because it was my case), but you feel that because of your fetish it may be bad. WRONG! Just have fun, if you hold you'll just make your impulse of tickling grows, and then feel worst, and then make your complex grows... like i've doing all these years. I'm not saying that you have to become a tickling monster who won't leave her breath one second in her life, but there is a medium point between the two ends, and both ends are bad. I exagerated my fetish to myself at the point i though that for me tickling a girl would mean as private like having sex, so i would feel guilty and i couldn't even touch her... I repeat, i was a stupid. These aren't the same thing, they aren't even close. Maybe a tickle session is private, and close to the excitation of sex, but the casual tickling is just fun, like to anyone who don't have a fetish.

Maybe i was worng, maybe i was the only complexed here and i realy wish that, because i don't wish to anyone of you the pain and low selfsteem i suffered until i beat my complex. But if i was right, if there is somebody there that needs my help, don't wait a second to comment your problems, i'll make everything i can to help you.

 

[Numbah-1]

Well I can definitely say youre not the only one who felt like that. And damn that is some stellar advice! Although I have a different view on numbah 2, I try and remind myself that we are on A Different Route During Our Pursuit To Happiness. Instead of trying to NOT think negative, lets use positivity as motivation!

 

[tklbreak]

someone once asked me what was normal, do crazy people think that they are normal its a good question.
There are so many different types of fetish even within the tickle community, and i have seen it talked about as being all things to all people.
Ignore the non tickle people and just think about all the people into it, then think with all the hundreds maybe thousands of different fetish types, it would appear most people suffer from some sort of fetish, maybe more than one,so count yourself as on of us.
you are normal perfectly normal.

 

[TKLVR181]

Your English is good enough to be understood, I've had many conversations with people who spoke it less than you.

I remember when I first started googling tickling because I was having fantasies about tying people up and tickling them. I was just curious. I felt guilty like you say about liking the idea of torturing somebody, it didn't mesh with my self-view of me being a kind person.


The first thing I found was a story about a guy who kidnapped two celebrities and made them tickle each other, which was awesome. Then came the part where they escaped and tied HIM up, and I remember being confused that he was excited about it. I had no idea that lee's existed--when I realized there were people who liked BEING tickled my whole world just changed, because I didn't have to feel bad about it anymore. Huge life-changer for me--and now I'm a switch 😀 !

~K

 

[Senshi1]

I'm glad you managed to make peace with yourself. 🙂

You're not the only one to have suffered a guilt complex - I did as well. The way I overcame it was that I learned where the boundaries are. Ilearned to keep my fetish restricted to my private life, where it wouldn't hurt anyone (or make them really uncomfortable), and I wouldn't have to feel bad about it. Generally, the only people exposed to my fetish now are fellow fetizens. 🙂

 

[BlackFeather51]

Yaaaaaaaay, what a relief that you understand my english :3

I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt like that, but good thing i could beat it. Numbah, good way to say it, i'm not sure if it's motivation to me, but I just started to think about this like something that can be "fun" if the right girl thinks that way.

tklfeather (oh, another feather♥ (?) ), i must agree because 1 important reason: I don't know if you consider bondage like a fetish, i do, and the reason i started to beat my fetish was i found some of my friends that i would NEVER thought could be like this, liked practicing bondage, that taught me 2 important things: NOBODY is who he looks like in his private life, and having different likes is most common that i thought like you say.

TKLVR, i remember the moment i start searching videos too, i had fantasies too and i felt so guilty too... the difference, sadly, was i didn't stop feeling guilty when i saw there was other people who likes tickling, because i thinks it would be too much coincidence if i find anyone with my fetish out of internet. And i like to swith too, i think the only way to take benefit from the ticklee, is seeing her in the two roles, as a ticklee and a sweet-full of thirst of revenge tickler. But sadly i'm not so ticklish, so it would be boring if i'm a ticklee :c Anyway, thing only happen in my fantasies, i couldn't make anyone real.

And Senshi... well, i haven't got anything new to answer you that i wouldn't say in the rest of the reply xD Thanks, and i can swear, to you or to anyone else, that i won't let my fetish to be a problem to anyone, EVER.

 

[Ticklish&InLove]

I used to feel really bad about wanting to be tickled...like there was something inherently wrong with me. I would fantasize about being on the losing end of a tickle fight and it leading to more when I hit the hormonal stage in high school. Considering that's the age everyone wants to be normal, having an abnormal kinky side was something I didn't even know a word (Fetish) existed to describe. Everything in the mainstream media showed how people were "supposed to interact" when it came to sexuality and flirtation. So it actually wasn't until after I'd been married for a few years that I even got the guts to go online and see if others were out there.

I was shocked to see that there were whole stories written by people who shared my personal taste for tickling - from the playful to the erotic. But in the first TK forum I entered, I witnessed how in two cases - one with a female Lee married to a vanilla partner and one with a male Ler married to a vanilla partner, ended up in heartbreak because their significant other was so disturbed by the non-vanilla preferences they chose divorce instead of trying to find a way to accept the desires of their spouse. Seeing that play out terrified me.

So it took my nosy hubby, who after I came to bed late one night, demanded to know what I had been doing on the internet. Ironically, he tickled me to find out. When I finally cave in and told him - terrified about what he would say or do - he was angry....but not for the reasons I'd expected. He shook his head sadly and said, "All these years we could have been sharing this and having so much fun. I don't share your fetish, but I think it's the world's cutest fetish and would have loved to make it part of our sex lives. When you stay quiet about something like this, you deny what might be possible." When I explained to him about the Ler and Lee who'd been left heartbroken over admitting their fetish to their spouse, he just shook his head and said, "If there is really love, and it doesn't hurt anyone, and it doesn't disgust anyone, then why wouldn't a spouse want to do it?"

He will never tickle me like I fantasize, but now days he does do it a little now and then, and that is so much more than I would have ever had otherwise.

So I'd encourage anyone to be open with their partner...as you don't know what you might be missing otherwise.

 

[BlackFeather51]

Oh, my dear... you had to suffer that long until you married, that was a long time :c Good things went better at least. I think it's important to tell your couple about your fetish, not only because he/she would tickle you/let you tickle him/her if he/she knows, also because it's important to make him/her know what's in your mind so much time. And it's a good test of confidence too, you show you confident with him sharing your secret (and he was a sweet with that answer, he might be a really nice guy n.n). And about the divorce, it's in each one wich priorities their sexual life have in their lifes. I'm a man who puts his feeling before his sexual interests (and this is why i will die virgin :'D), so i won't ever let my fetish be a reason to leave a girl i love. I never had a girlfriend, but the girl that was the closest thing to a girlfriend i had, the one who gave me my first kiss (and the only girl i kissed to now) wasn't ticklish, i couldn't have any tickle session, or tickle fight, or even just a little punishment when i had the oportunity. But... i loved her, i loved her so much (Until she started using me like trash U.U) so i was with her in spite of everything. But there are other people who don't share my way to think, who needs to fill their sexual needs, and if it requires to tie up a girl and tickle her, they only could be in couple with a girl who shares that. The two couples you said that divorcied, seems to think this second way, and like a sentimental boy that's to sad to me think about it (i have my reasons, but i need to enter in term more sexual and far from tickling to explain my sadness, and i don't think this is the place to do that), but was THEIR relationship, and their choose... they chose that path and we can't do anything. Let's just be happy that you didn't ended in that way, you two are still together and i'm sure you'll be a perfect couple and be together and happy to the end n.n

 

[BlackDragonScar]

Been there my man. Was just entering my fetish at the age of 13 years old and discovering more about it. I didn't understand why but it made sense. But being in a Christian family some things are just not suppose to be. So when I was caught I was told I was demon possessed and it was unholy. I tried to hide it, I felt like I was going to hell and that I was a freak because of it. Eventually as I got older I began to embrace it a bit ya know. It is hard to embrace but I understand man.

 

[Ticklish&InLove]

Oh, my dear... you had to suffer that long until you married, that was a long time :c Good things went better at least. I think it's important to tell your couple about your fetish, not only because he/she would tickle you/let you tickle him/her if he/she knows, also because it's important to make him/her know what's in your mind so much time. And it's a good test of confidence too, you show you confident with him sharing your secret (and he was a sweet with that answer, he might be a really nice guy n.n). And about the divorce, it's in each one wich priorities their sexual life have in their lifes. I'm a man who puts his feeling before his sexual interests (and this is why i will die virgin :'D), so i won't ever let my fetish be a reason to leave a girl i love. I never had a girlfriend, but the girl that was the closest thing to a girlfriend i had, the one who gave me my first kiss (and the only girl i kissed to now) wasn't ticklish, i couldn't have any tickle session, or tickle fight, or even just a little punishment when i had the oportunity. But... i loved her, i loved her so much (Until she started using me like trash U.U) so i was with her in spite of everything. But there are other people who don't share my way to think, who needs to fill their sexual needs, and if it requires to tie up a girl and tickle her, they only could be in couple with a girl who shares that. The two couples you said that divorcied, seems to think this second way, and like a sentimental boy that's to sad to me think about it (i have my reasons, but i need to enter in term more sexual and far from tickling to explain my sadness, and i don't think this is the place to do that), but was THEIR relationship, and their choose... they chose that path and we can't do anything. Let's just be happy that you didn't ended in that way, you two are still together and i'm sure you'll be a perfect couple and be together and happy to the end n.n

Oh yes. you are absolutely right...there are many more things besides sharing a kinky side that are important to a marriage...and I am very blessed that way. :wub I just wish I had trusted him sooner!:blush

 

[BlackFeather51]

Been there my man. Was just entering my fetish at the age of 13 years old and discovering more about it. I didn't understand why but it made sense. But being in a Christian family some things are just not suppose to be. So when I was caught I was told I was demon possessed and it was unholy. I tried to hide it, I felt like I was going to hell and that I was a freak because of it. Eventually as I got older I began to embrace it a bit ya know. It is hard to embrace but I understand man.

Auch! My family doesn't know, but i'm sure they would accepted me... it was much harder for you, i'm starting to feel that my problem wasn't nothing comparing with everybody of you. I'm glad that you could stop thinking like you family forced to think, that you know you aren't posessed or nothing, and i'm afraid of asking what your family thinks now

 

[BlackDragonScar]

Auch! My family doesn't know, but i'm sure they would accepted me... it was much harder for you, i'm starting to feel that my problem wasn't nothing comparing with everybody of you. I'm glad that you could stop thinking like you family forced to think, that you know you aren't posessed or nothing, and i'm afraid of asking what your family thinks now

well my family knows but doesn't remember thankfully. They believe I am "over it" when I"m really not. Honestly meeting folks like me though the web has helped me feel a bit more comfortable among certain people but then the trust factor kicks in on who knows and who doesn't know ya know. Its still hard being in a place where tickling isn't really that much accepted or too much tickling is like ...idk almost just as bad as if I was gay or bi. Such is life ya know