Fiction: a Blip on a Staircase - probably followed by an arrest

[tyler_d]

In my fantasy world where people could just accept one another, I'd love to just sit down beside her on those steps while she's on the phone and casually reach over her knees to pick up those high heeled loafers right in front of her and just sniff them as if it was totally normal.

And then when she does a double take and looks at me horrified, I'd just look back at her (my eyes partially covered by her shoe) and muffle back "What's wrong?"

Then I'd start to make sounds like "MMMmmmm" while she hangs up.

and then turn the shoe sideways so my mouth is free while I still sniff and make a comment like: "Wow Miss, you're boss must have you workin pretty hard today cuz I can tell your toes are really in the stink house. Maybe I should give you some special powder you can use so these pups won't stink so bad. Would you like me to do that?"

and she'd be horrified like "NO, I don't need it cuz I don't have to worry about people going around picking up my shoes to see if they smell bad or not"...

I'd then confess to her that it's not so bad in fact when they stink as bad as hers and I'd hand her back her shoes and say: "there's actually some good things that can come from such stinky shoes like you've made..."

and then I'd casually stand up and stretch with a little yawn on my face while looking away from her and pretend like I was straightening the area around my big pup tent because of an innocent itch and say: "...so who was that on the phone?"