1) I didn’t use bondage my first session. Actually, I didn’t use bondage for a solid 6 months after starting to session. So when I finally did, it was the typical 4 corners bed tie.
2) my first session…none lol. Just fingers. Following up within those 6 months: forks, keys, feathers, brushes, and toothbrush.
3) my first session, I really don’t remember. I think that one was just feet. Following up, it was a certain spot in the armpits.
So, as others mentioned, no 2 sessions are the same. Doesn’t matter if it’s the same Lee and ler, same position, etc. each is so different.
Safety and unsolicited tips:
- do a vanilla meet up with a play partner before you arrange a session. And really get to know this person beforehand. This is the internet and people can still deceive. Be safe.
- have a safety person to check in on you. You don’t have to tell them what you’re doing. But someone you trust who knows how to find you if necessary. Again, this is someone you trust and know, so there shouldn’t be privacy concerns. When I set up any kind of a session, 2 people know how to find me. We have a pre-arranged check-in time and I have to check in by then, or them start calling/texting/tracking. Don’t screw around with safety!
- always always always set up your safeword beforehand. Make it very simple and easy. Traffic lights are a good one. Your Ler should be checking in with you. Green - all systems go, yellow - ease up or need a break/readjust/hydrate/etc, red - stop immediately: injured/overwhelmed/don’t want to continue.
- your first bondage, when you’re ready for that, should be very simple and comfy. You have plenty of time to get hardcore later if that’s what you want. A comfy position, with cuffs that will NOT leave marks afterwards. Last thing you need to do is explain marks.
- depending on your body type, you might bruise after a session. Communication is huge, but some people just bruise really easily. You’re probably going to be sore the next day. Don’t schedule things that reveal those parts of your body for 3-5 days after a session until you get to know how you react. Remember, each Ler and Lee is different.
- wear comfy clothing or easy to remove clothing. Some stuff gets itchy when you get sweaty. And you will get sweaty!
- be clean. This should go without saying, but ffs don’t skip your shower that day. Wash your hair, face, body, feet, everywhere. Be clean.
- you and your Ler absolutely have to set boundaries beforehand. You can change them along the way, but start off with your limits. You should be in constant communication and the Ler should really be paying attention to the Lee’s responses.
- find a safe place. Don’t do it in an apartment with paper thin walls if you’re a screamer. Nothing like explaining to the police what’s going on 😂
- take your time. Don’t rush having a session. And for goodness sakes, don’t try to make it a marathon LOL. Those of us that have, have been doing this for a really long time. And even then, many don’t. Don’t overdo it
- have fun. 100% have fun.
Feel free to message if you have more questions. I’m glad you’re asking! I really didn’t start out in this the conventional way. My first true meet up was a rotten experience. Luckily, my second was pretty good, and we are still friends 20+ yrs later. My first true session, like full on, was with someone extremely experienced. In so many ways, I’m thankful for that. Again, we are still friends 20+ yrs later. It let me know how I should feel doing a session, a start of what I like and how I react, starting to explore spots, the dynamic with a fun Ler. I kinda dove in head first and really wish I would have asked more questions ahead of time, but every experience is valuable, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
