Five best and worst years of my life

[Mitchell]

I hope this isnt a stupid thread, but with all I've gone through this year with my parents and their health issues, I started to think about some of the best and worst years in my life, and the events that occurred in those years. I decided to post on here the five best and worst years of my life, and some of the things that happened.

Five Best Years.
1992-Return to College after a one year absence. High grades, many new friends.

1993. Continuation of 92. Same group of friends, high grades. excellent grade on my senior thesis.

1999. My move to Lancaster and fulfilling my dream to get out of Ft Lee, NJ where I was miserable.

2000. Reconcilation with my father after a long estrangement. This was a case where a bad thing turned out to be good, as I had a health scare that brought us together.

2001. Finding the business Iam now in. Although I thought at the time this was a great thing, those of you who have heard of my struggles with this know it hasnt turned out as I'd hoped. I havent given up though. I didnt know that at the time.

Five worst years.

1989. Grandfather dies-parents seperate. This was perhaps the most traumatic year, as I lost my grandfather, family, home and dog I loved all in one year.

1991-Parents divorce trial and divorce finalized, Iam forced to drop out of college for a year due to money. Thankfully, this was only one bad year, and was quickly recouped.

1995-Grandmother dies, loss of major friendships. This was also a very traumatic year. The only wonderful thing that year happened on Saturday night, October 28, when my beloved team, the Braves, beat Cleveland in the World series.

1997-Best friend moves to Lancaster, father marries suddenly after we reconcile, long estrangement with him begins. This was also a very traumatic year, with changes not for the better.

2003-Mother's cancer scare and health problems, father's ongoing heart problem and upcoming surgery, business woes, falling through of potential major business deal after long hard work. This has been a very rough year for me, as all know. I will probably be forced to make major changes in my work unless a miracle happens. Although I will say that if my father comes through his surgery fine, and my mom's health remains stable, all will turn out okay in spite of all the difficulties. It's just been a very rough year, and I wish all of the scary situations would end already. My mom keeps saying that "Young seniors" as she calls herself and my dad have health scares, and live a long time. All I can say is that in the case of my father's mother, who many on here know Iam estranged from, she had double bypass at age 67 and is still going at 91. At that rate, my dad will live hopefully into his 80s, and my mom hopefully a long time as well. Iam sure they will both be okay, it's just been a little too scary this year. Hopefully he will come through his procedure fine, and all will be okay.

Well, I hope I havent bored anyone with this thread. I just wanted to vent on here about some things. This year has made me think about other years in my life, although hopefully all will be fine. and I can look back on it in hopefully a better year in 2004 by saying it was just scary. and not monumental or life altering like some of the other years I mentioned.

Mitch

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Yeah, we're in the same boat here...2003 will not go down as one of my better years, either.
Mitch lists individual years...what I can do is take this one long stretch...1985-1994, and if I could, make it completely disappear. I would love to make 1984, my last year in the Navy, segue with 1995, a roller coaster year when in the fall things finally began to change for the better.
Sounds like a Sci-Fi story, doesn't it? 🙂

 

[Mitchell]

Wow Knoxie, Iam sorry to hear that those ten years were so bad for you. Actually, I've had a rather long stretch since my parents divorced for 14 years that has not been good, but the years I listed were the worst. I know all about wanting to recapture glory days. There is one nine month period, from Sept 1992 to May 1993, where I could do no wrong. Socially, academically, it just all worked. Oddly enough, my aunt is into astrology, so she has been able to predict good and bad years for me. She also believes patterns repeat themselves every 12 years. 91 was bad for me, and so is 2003. Hopefully since 92 was good, under the every 12 yrs thing 2004 will be better.
As for you, Iam sorry to hear you havent had a good year. I do hope things get better. I do hope you can recapture those glory days. Good luck, and hang in there, and know your friend Mitch is always here to talk if you need him.

Mitch

 

[tkrexx]

Carry On...

Seems Knox & I share alot in common: We're both Old Farts and we'd like to get rid of a decade in our past.

Mitch, you seem to have the right attitude. Things go wrong, my friend, and we have 2 choices: Keep slogging forward or lay down and die (Which could be a long, slow death).

In 1978 (I'm dating myself, but I was 17) My folks split up for the final time, the family business went under, and my father was indicted for mail fraud. He and I, by the way, have never reconciled. I did manage to squeak thru 1 year of college, but anyone who's old enough to remember the early '80's knows that work in the midwest was frighteningly scarce. I joined the Marines in '82, and those were the best years of my life up to that point. Then some sleeze winds up pregnant, drops a child in my lap and promptly disappears. I returned home in late '86 with nothing but a 1 1/2 yr old son. In '88 I lost my job and didn't work again for over a year. Needless to say, I was deep in the bowels of depression. Mid-'89-'92 found me working as a bartender in a saloon that resembled "Road House," without the band. I hardly saw my son throughout those years, and as so many bartenders do, I fell hard into a bottle. I got wiped out during the flood of '93, and started '94 with a DUI, totalling my car as well as someone else's brand new car (It could have been worse; no one was hurt). That was my darkest hour.

If there's a good thing about being on bottom is that you have only one way to go: Up. It's been a long haul, but as I write this I'm as well off as any man my age, with a good wife of 6 years, a darling daughter, a son just starting college, a house and 3 cars, and work that actually over-pays. And I've learned something quite valuable: It could all disappear in a moment.

So Mitch, and anyone else reading this who's dwelling in Down-and-outsville, I have one message that will always ring true:

Press On.

Nothing in the World can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not. Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not. Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not. The World is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Good luck, my friend.

Rxx

 

[Mitchell]

Thank you for the vote of confidence Rexx. It sounds like you have overcome some terribly difficult events in your life. Iam glad to hear you have rebuilt your life so well. It sounds like things are going much better for you now. With any luck, my life will hopefully turn around also. Thanks for sharing. It was inspiring to read, and much appreciated.

Mitch

 

[TklDuo-Drew]

1994, 1995, and some of 1996, were among the worst in my life.
My best years of my life: from 2000 to present, spent with my wonderful bride.🙂

Drew

 

[Limeoutsider]

The only wonderful thing that year happened on Saturday night, October 28, when my beloved team, the Braves, beat Cleveland in the World series.

Enough said

 

[desdemona]

Inspiring and thought provoking post. Not at all boring Mitch!

For me, the past decade has seen a lot of change - both good and bad. The first four years were spent in vet school - getting my degree was a major goal accomplishment and well worth the time and sweat. I made it through with some great friends and colleagues and memories I will cherish (sadly, not all 60 of us who started out together made it through). These were also my most personally trying years as my parents decided they were incompatible after 25 years and took almost four years to complete the messy divorce process. I developed asthma and chronic insomnia. If it weren't for my family and friends, I don't know how I would have found the strength to realize my dream. And while I enjoyed most of my time in and out of class, there are still some things that no one misses - like the smell of formaldehyde on everything he/she owns (freshman year), 7:00 A.M. slide shows of some of the most disgusting things you never want to see before breakfast (sophomore), cutting a live animal for the first time anesthesia and seeing the blood/pain response up close and personal (junior), and facing down some of the meanest lookest animals as you go to care for them on your own (senior) - these aren't moments I'd like to relive. For anyone who's interested, read "If Wishes Were Horses" - a book written by an older female student who goes back to vet school. It's quite amusing and eye opening.

Since graduation, I've learned to love my profession - the good and the bad. I've bounced around to a few jobs - my first boss was a total crook who wanted every dime up front and would stick the vets with an unpaid bill if the client abandoned the animal. My second boss was the complete opposite - worked hard and charged little. I just couldn't keep up with all the 3:00 A.M. farm calls/hit by cars/going into the clinic in the middle of the night by myself. My third and present job is more to my liking and more satisfying. My biggest decision now is whether to puruse buying into the place or striking out on my own. Big scary decisions for me. My asthma has flared up a time or two from all the stress and animal allergens, so I have to consider whether I'll be able to continue in this chosen profession. Right now, as some of you know, I'm dealing with my mother's diagnosis of MS. She starts weekly injections the end of this month to see if she can keep symptoms at bay. My estranged father is doing a two hour drive to visit all of his children at the end of the month, also - two months after he had hip replacement surgery.

As for the next decade, I can't wait to see what it brings...trials of life only seem to make it more worth living. And while I may not come out stronger, I might end up a wee bit wiser in the process 🙂

 

[Mitchell]

I didnt know about your mother's diagnosis of MS, Des, Iam so sorry to hear that! I have a cousin in Fla who has MS, she's in her 50s. You mentioned your parents messy divorce. Iam sorry. I know that can be very trying. Iam glad to hear that your life as a vet has worked out well, it's always nice when a person can be happy in their career. Good Luck to you, des, you deserve it after what you went through.

Mitch

 

[Knox The Hatter]

thanks, Mitch, for the kind words.
I've suffered from mild depression for most of my life. Things would get better, they'd get worse. While that ten year stretch is inclusive of many chapters and many episodes, what stands out is being down most of the time. I pretty much spent all of 1985, 1986, and much of 1987 in my room. I came out to go to work, for meals, stuff like that, but for the most part, I was in there, or I was hanging out with friends who were as alone and as angry and resentful as I was. Misery loves company. I didn't have a car, so I didn't drive, went out infrequently. Just me and my books and my music. I'd come downstairs, my parents would say, "what's wrong?" I couldn't tell them, I didn't really know myself. "You look depressed." "Well, I guess I am." "Well, (with all seriousness) snap out of it!" That was their answer. Why deal with Knoxxie's problems? Hey, tee time's 7:30! Now, that's really important. Hey, we have a house to renovate! You like our new tongue-in-groove paneling?
I started dating again in '87. Wasn't easy. Trying to raise myself out of this abyss was always difficult. When a girl sees you in this mess, unless she wants to commit for the long haul, she ain't gonna wanna know ya, so...
When I met my last girlfriend back in '95, I couldn't believe I had met someone willing to commit to a relationship with me. I put her through her paces, but looking back, we did have good times, and I left the bad part of my life behind. It all still haunts me, though, every day. I try not to let things overwhelm me...I think I'm succeeding.
Sorry about your Mom, Des. I know someone going through it...

 

[desdemona]

Mitch and Knox.....thanks for the kind words. I sympathize with your plight Mitch of watching your parents' health with bated breath. And Knox, I'm glad to see you've turned a corner and that you can enjoy life now with someone who appreciates you for who you are. Remember, count your blessings that you have your health and someone with whom to share your life. 🙂