Fly the Skinny Skies! (lots o'sarcasm)

[Bagelfather]

As many of you have already heard Southwest Airlines has decided to enact a 22 year old policy starting June 26th, 2002, that states if a person of size, girth, obese nature, overly jolly, or plain ole' fat ass'd they may need to buy a second ticket.

The guidelines is if your body hangs over the 18 3/4" seats or if you need a seat extender then you are in over abundance of passengerness and may have to buy a second ticket. The problem is you don't have to have a second seat if the flight isn't full, in fact you would be entitled to a refund. Think of it as a fat security deposit.

The sad part of this is, is that you may not know if you need that second seat. You may suspect it but how do you know for certain? How will they address the passengers? At "Great America" they refer to overweight people as having "unusual body proportions." This means that I can't ride on Invertigo, and neither can the stripper with FFF silicon breast implants. Somehow I think she gets the better end of the deal.

Though we want to love and accomodate everyone in society the sad truth is, it comes to a point where it isn't economical. At some point there needs to be a time when you have to say "yes I do weigh 600lbs and it is fair that I pay for 2 seats." Or the Airline or other business can be customer service friendly and give the second seat for a minor fee if they are aware of it up front. Sure they lose a few hundred dollars on a local flight, but honestly how many times is that 600 lb person gonna get out and fly around the country? The problem is Southwest Airline's guidlines are a bit too strict and a bit too vague.

Hey I'm a big guy and the last thing I want to sit next to is another big person, that is uncomfortable I tell you. The number of ultra skinny people and the number of super fat people should balance themselvesout (law of averages), the airlines just needs to play Tetris with people until they get the right combo.

Here are some thoughts (some black humored, be forwarned) to consider.

I think the policy should be changed in case their are children on board. First of all you can fit a fat person and a kid next to each other without conflict. And since fat people are so darned jolly the kids and them will get along great. Plus if there are babies involved they can lick up any food that spilled on the passenger next to them... both of them.

If you went on a long vacation, say 3 weeks, and worked out a lot by swimming and eating healthy, can you get a refund on the ticket coming home?

If you were within the guidelines before you left and you ate too much at Thanksgiving, would you have to pay more?

During the pre-flight saftey check will they point to you as a possible flotation device?

How do you know if you are too fat? I see the little bin for the luggage, is there one where you can plop your butt down for the test to measure yourself?

What if Southwest installed smaller seatbelts to make more money on saving a few inches, "hey I didn't need a Seatbelt extender last week..."

If you are extra skinny can you sell your seat space back to the airline?

Will Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig start advertising more in the inflight magazines? "Are you such a lard butt that you need three seats? Come on down to our weight loss center and spend good money learning the stuff your doctor has tried teaching you for years!"

Will inflight snacks be replaced by more fattier fare in order to boost sales?

If you have two seats does that mean you can carry more baggage than the spare tire around your belly?

If you are in a wheel chair, or bed ridden and haven't exercised much and are a bit too large will you be charged extra or is that covered under the American's with Disabilities Act?

Does Santa consider them naughty or nice?

If someone became so distraught at finding out they had to buy a second seat and comitted suicide in the bathroom, would Southwest Airlines still refund the ticket?

Yes these are some black humored look at a serious problem. Just for the record I don't need a seatbelt extender myself, but I'm not the smallest of people either. I can fit in their seats but prefer to have the arm rest up because it jams in my side. Am I sky friendly plump?

 

[Myriads]

I can understand SW's thinking behind this.

A few years back I was flying to LA (Chicago to LA leg) and in my row of three seats (I was on the aisle) I had the pleasure of having a pair of brothers get the other two seats. They were not small men. After thay sat (putting up the armrests, less then a quarter of my seat was left. I literally could not use it. It was a full flight. So I was SOL. Happily the stewardesses allowed me to belt into one of thier extra 'crew seats' where I spent the flight. If they had not done that, odds were I might have had to leave the flight, or make a huge row to make one of THEM leave the flight.

So I can see where this policy arises from. It sucks, but if you use more then one seat, I have to say you probably should have to pay for it.

Myriads

 

[qjakal]

Airlines suck...

I'm not overly large, but my shoulders are wide and my legs must be disproportionally long, because I suffer on those damn flights....my butt fits fine into the seat, but I have half a shoulder over into my neighbors space, and god help them when I cross my leg (which in itself is a contortionist feat worthy of Letterman). I've taken to either flying first class or requesting the emergency seat aisle, which has more leg room. They may question you regarding your physical ability to open an emergency door if you get specific about that seating (it's worth the hassle..try it!)..I've offered to participate in a "door shot put" with the rest of the plane for the privelege of stretching my legs out.

In general this system looks like a nightmare for the attendants, as they'll be the ones managing the whole scenario.....but it DOES have humorous potential, as well as big time litigation written all over it! Maybe it will lead to airlines updating their seating a bit...hope so. Q

 

[Strelnikov]

Except that the trend in seat width is in the opposite direction. The narrower the seats, the more paying customers they can cram in. When the 707 entered service in 1958, seats were arranged two on each side of the aisle. The few still in regular passenger service now have two-and-three or three-and-three seating, despite the fact that we're bigger than our parents.

Like Myriads and Q, I've shared seating with fatass types, and with wrestler types who were 6 feet across the shoulders. It's pretty unpleasant. Good for Southwest - maybe this idea will catch on with others.

Strelnikov